Thursday, May 28, 2009

'Really?' 'Seriously?' 'Her?'

Ten points for those of you who can name the TV shows the above quotes are from.

(It's not hard really. They are three of my favs):

-Saturday Night Live (think Seth Meyer's Weekend Update)
-Grey's Anatomy (think Meredith, Christina, and Izzy circa Seasons 1& 2) and -Arrested Development (think anytime George Michael Bluth's girlfriend Anne was mentioned)

Well, these have been my sentiments to God for pretty much two years now:

'Really?' 'Seriously?' Her?' (the 'her' being me).

You want to call ME to a convent? Really?

You want me to sell alot of my things and live with a bunch of women? Seriously?

Me, in all my brokenness? Her?

I just had a friend write to me today (and this is really helpful! My friends are awesome) that the bigger the 'Seriously?' The bigger the 'YES'. Ooo...that's good right? I'm still not sure if that means MY 'yes' will have to be bigger or God's will be bigger...probably mine. But I like to think God's YES will then be bigger too if I say 'Yes'.

Well, apparently that aforementioned 'Yes' of mine to entering a convent was short lived. But lately I've also been saying 'seriously?' to God ALOT.

You want me to LEAVE the convent now? Really?

I'm feeling called to ministry in the worst possible time to look for a job. Seriously?

Getting into a car accident on the way to work this morning. Her? (This Her might mean me or the lovely girl who actually did hit me. She was very sweet and I pray for her! But yeah, true story, unfortunately)

Anyways, as I said, I really like my friend's point about the bigger my 'Seriously?' the bigger the 'YES', but I'm having a hard time figuring out what God wants of my Yes! A 'yes' to surrendering a job search over to Him? a 'Yes' to being patient? A 'yes' to trusting that His 'YES' to me will be equally as big?

Yeah, probably all of that, huh?

I still feel like I have alot to address in regards to the 'Her?' as well. I question ALL THE TIME how God can possibly be calling me to certain things. Marriage? Really? Kids? Seriously? Her? Maybe all of this waiting is to get to know myself a little better, so then my yes can be bigger, as will His.

We shall see!

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