Saturday, May 23, 2009


"When they had gathered together they asked him,'Lord, are you at this time going to restore the kingdom to Israel?' He answered them, 'It is not for you to know the times or seasons that the Father has established by his own authority. But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you,and you will be my witnesses...'

When he had said this, as they were looking on, he was lifted up, and a cloud took him from their sight."- Acts 1:1-11

So the day has arrived- Ascension Sunday! I kind of missed out on the Resurrection of Easter Sunday this year since I had death by ear infection, and the rest of these Easter days have been kind of sluggish spiritually. I'm showing up, I'm putting in the time with prayer and Mass, but I'm still kind of clueless like the Apostles. I need some of that Wisdom of the Holy Spirit!

I've started a novena to the Holy Spirit in hopes that God will reveal how He wants me to witness soon. And actually of all the gifts of the Spirit I'm praying for this year, I'm gonna have to say 'Fortitude' is the One I'm hoping most for. Wisdom, Understanding, and Knowledge were the ones I'd always prayed heavily for in the past. Fortitude and Counsel kind of came naturally to me, I think. But God's shaken everything up, and this year, the race is starting to get a little tiring, so I'm needing the Spirit's Fortitude, and I'm gonna throw in a shout out for the gift of 'Counsel' for good measure as well.

I've mentioned the Ascension alot in this blog, and now it's here! Jesus finally is showing up, filling the disciples in (kind of), and then taking off to enter our eternal kingdom. I've been hoping and praying, I'm sure like the Apostles were, that he'd show up again soon. I have hope in these last days between the Ascension and Pentecost that He will do what He promises- that He will give the Spirit to help!!!

The idea of 'witness' has surely changed for me this year. In the past, I was always into the much more visible witness- service projects, Guatemala, NET, ministry, religious life. I left the convent on Pentecost last year, excited to return to witnessing, and I just haven't- as I've discussed many times- fell into another 'call'. But my friends in my women's group (praise God for you ladies!) assure me that I am still witnessing, maybe it's just in small ways.

In our women's group, we've been talking alot in these Easter days about women's role in the Church and their role as Apostles in the Early Church. Mary Magdalene being the first at the tomb to receive the 'good news', for one. She had a big message to carry! But she didn't carry it like Paul or Peter or any of the men, she gave the message she was called to give, but then when they didn't believe her, what did she do? She led them to the tomb to see for themselves, so that they could go out to all corners of the earth proclaiming. And I'm sure she prayed and proclaimed, too, that message, but was it in the same way?

Don't get me wrong, I know that there are women who are called to do big things and give a big witness, but it certainly is in a different way. Mary, the Mother of Jesus, her witness is one of the biggest, and it was so silent so often.

All this to say, we've been talking about the quiet witness of many biblical women in our group, and that is new for me. I'm not sure why God is perhaps calling me to this kind of witness now, when it's been so big and powerful in the past. Plus, He knows me....He knows I'm not the meek and quiet type! ;) And that is why I am trusting He will reveal another big role for me one day, but in the meantime, this has been an exercise in humility and trust for sure.

There is much WAITING in between the Resurrection, Ascension, and Pentecost, it seems. The Apostles are told they'd receive this help of the Spirit, but it's all so uncertain until they actually experience it. And in the above reading, (the first reading for this Sunday) when they ask Jesus if He is going to reveal the kingdom now, He pretty much says, 'no, you'll have to wait and be uncertain until the Spirit comes'.

All I can say, is 'Come, Holy Spirit, Come!!!' And the sooner the better ;) please? Thanks.


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