Monday, May 17, 2010

The Waiting Game

"...he enjoined them not to depart from Jerusalem, but to wait for 'the promise of the Father'
about which you have heard me speak; for John baptized with water, but in a few days you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit.”- Acts 1:4-5

"And behold I am sending the promise of my Father upon you; but stay in the city
until you are clothed with power from on high.”- Luke 24:49

I really wish Jesus would give me some new themes to work with. Waiting, Patience, Hope, Trust. I'm getting sick of talking about it, so I'm sure you are getting sick of hearing it. (Turns out, I've even used that exact line already! )

Jesus, give me some NEW MATERIAL! ;)

I've been waiting for something for about a year and a half now. It's been 2 years since I changed the direction I thought I was going, took me a few months to regroup, and now it's been a year and a half trying to re-direct. I have taken the steps I feel I need to take...just more waiting.

I know that this waiting produces fruit. I'm surprisingly getting much better at it. (You might be thinking, right, Julia. This is "getting better at it?" Whining on your blog again? ;)

There is almost a temptation now to settle into it so much so that I become indifferent. Indifference has always been the scariest thing to me. I don't want to become indifferent, I want to be passionate. I gots opinions...I want to express 'em! ;)

I know that sometimes it seems like the more we surrender, the more God gives and takes away. (Um, Job, anyone? That guy sure couldn't cut a break....)

I hold onto the hope that God has a plan, that all this is happening for a reason, that He is preparing a place...and His Word tells me that.

What we need is the Holy Spirit. Christ tells His apostles in this past Sunday's readings- stay put. Don't move. Until the Spirit comes. You will know.

I trust in this, even though every intelligent, rational bone in my body says not to (which may or may not make up that much of my body ;)

I'm sorry I'm being cryptic today. It's been a tough week of fighting for my Spirit. The devil wants it, I'm getting tired, but I want the Spirit to stir so badly. I want to hope.

I see the beautiful things that happen when we hope. But it is also tempting to see the people around me who haven't had to work so hard or wait very long.

In many ways, I haven't had to work all that hard or wait all that long either. I know I've been handed many things in my life. In some matters of the Spirit, things come easy to me. But lately, I have had to fight.

Hopefully, that means when the gift shows up, it will be all the more spectacular. I also hope I'm not missing the gift(s) staring me right in the face.

In the meantime...we play the waiting game. And we trust.

"...let us approach with a sincere heart and in absolute trust, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed in pure water. Let us hold unwaveringly to our confession that gives us hope, for he who made the promise is trustworthy." Hebrews 10: 22-23

Please keep me in your prayers :) I will keep you in mine as I finish my novena to the Holy Spirit this week.

ps- Something I have been waiting for for a couple of months now has finally arrived- VACATION! I am leaving for vacation part 1 of 2 tomorrow.

I will be the girl on the beach (with her sunscreen on! I'm no fool ;), a drink in her hand, a book (not related to my studies in any way!) in the other....

and a smile on my face ;)


1 comment:

Jeremiah 29:11 said...

Jesus we trust in You. Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of your faithful.

Love u girl!