Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Tell Me Something Good

It wouldn't be a blog of mine without referencing a random old school song. This subject title is a Rufus and Chaka Kahn song written by Stevie Wonder. It's a little something my roommates and I like to sing to ourselves when we are trying to find meaning to our mundane lives: "tell me something good...."

I had a mix cd on in my car this morning that one of said roommates had made me, and when this song came on, I thought of singing it to God: "Tell me something good!" Because lately, it seems He's just met me with a lot of rejection. I can't go into details on the blog, but you all know that it's been a rough year, and those of you close to me know the rejection I've been facing these past few months in particular.

It is my birthday today- 28 years! And usually by this time of April, the sun is out and we have been having relatively beautiful days for a while. This year, April's been out of control with the rain, and today its another cool, rainy day. "Tell me something good", God! Rain? Couldn't I even get a little sun on my birthday?

I am not, generally, an optimistic person. Mostly because I like to think I am a very realistic person. I want to be efficient and practical and for everything to have purpose. And I am real about the fact that sometimes the optimistic view is not always real.

But lately I have to be optimistic in my realism, if that makes sense, and I know the two can coexist. I have to believe that within the negative there is a positive purpose, and believe that can be real. It's hard for me to trust this and believe in something that is uncertain, especially an idea that has not yet presented itself as necessarily good.

So, for example, when I saw that it was raining today, my initial thought was: "Really, God? Rain?" but then I realized (and this is going to sound silly and possibly over-analytical, but that's how I roll) that my allergies weren't as bad today, perhaps because of the rain. Stay with me made me see that initially we are sad for the rejection, or the negative outcome of something we had hoped for. But the outcome could be protecting us from something more negative. And we have to trust in this.

Anyways, I questioned myself driving in the car thinking all of this because it really goes against my nature. I thought: 'oh great, am I becoming the person I can't stand? The 'turn that frown upside down' optimist? Am I going to greet everyone with a positive anecdote each time they share something with me? Maybe. But I've always been about balance, so while God might be working on the optimist in me, I'm sure I'll still bring my sassy, realistic edge to things. I have to believe that, anyways, right? Look at me...already getting good at this positive spin on things :)

The world certainly is very realistic, but our faith is rooted in hope. So let us continue to hope together, 'cause that's all we can do! And all the Lord asks of us, really- trust in hope.


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