Feasting on the Assumption

There are so many word plays I could make with this feast...but you probably already "assumed" that... Har har har...oh, how I hate puns!

As I've already mentioned, I have a mixed relationship with the Blessed Mother (see Sept 19, 2012...I would hyperlink the post, but I'm working on my iPad app today and I don't know how to do that...humph). But for some reason I was super pumped to celebrate today's feast. I even gave myself a reminder in my phone to go to the vigil last night 'cause I knew I was busy all day today (Last full day of nannying and seeing one of my favvvvv performing artists tonight!!). And I was really glad I went to the vigil because the readings were different than the Mass for today.

This morning's readings use the excerpt from Revelations depicting the woman "clothed in sun" which is a great image for this feast ( the Assumption is the day we honor Mary being taken body and soul into heaven. Why doesn't she just "die" like the rest of us, you ask? Her body housed the Son of God for one! It doesn't get to decompose. For two, she was conceived without Original Sin, and one of the effects of Original Sin is death. No Original Sin= No earthly death. Kinda makes sense, right?).

The first reading used for the Vigil Mass last night, however, was the account of David bringing the Ark of the Covenant into Jerusalem, making it the Holy City it is today. The Ark of the Covenant housed the most sacred thing for the Israelites at the time: The Ten Commandments (and some say a piece of Moses/Aaron's staff). David, flawed as he was, had a pure heart and wanted to honor God and make Jerusalem a sacred city. We call Mary the "Ark of the Covenant" because she housed the most sacred thing for us: our Lord. And both she and David carried their respective sacred items with great joy.

I love the story of David bringing the Ark into Jerusalem because of his unbridled, unabashed simple joy for God. I can relate more to David, I believe, than I can Mary because he was flawed and she was/is perfect. However, while I identify more with David, I aspire to be more like Mary in her simplicity and obedience.

Here's a pic of my man David leading the way for the Ark with great fanfare:

Anyways, so the readings last night made me even more stoked for this feast today. Oh, and the Gospel from last night? ONLY ONE VERSE. And it was a good one! Luke 11: 27-28 (ok, so *two* verses):

"While Jesus was speaking, a woman from the crowd called out and said to Him: 'Blessed the womb that carried you....' He replied, ' Rather, blessed are those who hear the word of God and observe it.'"

Jesus, once again- the great deflector- putting the attention on other people rather than on Himself. I wonder if there are even shorter Gospel verses or readings ever read at Mass. I'm sure an even bigger Theology/Liturgy nerd than myself can answer that :)

And because I'm such a 90s nerd in addition to theological nerdiness, I always use Lauryn Hill's "To Zion" when talking about this story of David in my Scripture class. I believe she captures the joy of David bringing the ark to Zion (a mount in Jerusalem)  as well as Mary's joy of caring God's Son. Lauryn Hill for the win (always). I mean...Sister Act 2:

http://youtu.be/1sQjh261rU8

Enjoy this feast!

Peace,

Julia

Vanity and Vulnerability

Summer is winding down and any time something comes to end we pause to reflect: "was it well done? did we make the most of our time? What did we even do, really?!"

Summer has definitely gone way too fast- possibly the most overused, understated phrase ever- but it's true! 2 more weeks of nannying and then I'm back at school for teacher meetings and training already. I definitely think it was a summer well spent, though. No one can say I wasted any time! I put many hours in, did a lot of stuff around DC, made trips to Ohio and Florida, and if my goal was not to sit on my couch all summer, well then, mission accomplished.

I also feel pretty good about my summer goal of maintaining somewhat of a prayer routine. I've continued to take time before going to "work" as a nanny, read the Scripture readings of the day, read a little bit from Pope Francis, and examine and reflect a little each day.

So you are probably saying, GOOD FOR YOU, JULIA. If you are one of my kinder friends, you mean that sincerely. If you are one of my more snarky friends, you mean that sarcastically (and I love you for it). And to each of you I say THANKS. I'm pretty proud of myself. But before we get into vanity, I want to address the latter subject of this post.

This past week I went to Florida and got to spend time with some of my besties. I was reflecting today that these people each love me and accept me for who I am, know me well, but still call me and challenge me to be even more vulnerable which is often difficult for me. In other words, these friendships don't stop at surface level. They easily could. We could just talk about what we have in common, gossip, or shop (almost all of my best friends do this last thing well ;), but we don't. We call each other out while still being loving. I have been blessed with many of these types of relationships throughout my life, with different people at different times, all calling me to something greater by simultaneously loving me but calling me outside of my comfort zone.

Today's first reading kind of addresses this need to go beyond the surface and artificial because it is all vanity:

" Vanity of vanities, says Qoheleth, [ the author of Ecclesiastes, often attributed to Solomon]
vanity of vanities! All things are vanity!

Here is one who has labored with wisdom and knowledge and skill,
and yet to another who has not labored over it,
he must leave property. 
This also is vanity and a great misfortune. 
For what profit comes to man from all the toil and anxiety of heart
with which he has labored under the sun? 
All his days sorrow and grief are his occupation;
even at night his mind is not at rest. 
This also is vanity. " - Ecclesiastes 1:2, 2: 21-23

Now as a writer, I hate the standard, contrived intro to an idea of: "vanity is defined as... blah, blah, blah." But as a writer, I also always want to know the origins of and research words! So for the purposes of this post:  Vanity can be defined as: "the excessive belief in one's own abilities or attractiveness to others." (Stephen LaMarche a la wikipedia...I never said my sources had to be legit for my posting purposes ;)

This definition kind of cuts me to the heart. This is something I think we all struggle with- pride/vanity defined as above. I know I can get really trapped in my own mind and selfish thoughts if not for the aforementioned friendships and, of course, faith. We can get caught up in our own abilities and become consumed by how attractive we appear, if not for our true friends and True God to rely on and love us no matter what.

I have mentioned several times on this blog the retreats that I have been a part of with the school, particularly the Kairos retreat which we've recently implemented. Tonight, the original leaders of our 1st Kairos are getting together and I'm excited to catch up with the kids. After hearing the readings at Mass this morning and thinking about this week and weekend's events, I was meditating on what makes the Kairos retreats so special. It has to do with the same I idea that I mentioned about my close friends- on Kairos, the kids make themselves vulnerable and truly open themselves up to God and each other in a way that they haven't prior. It gives them a chance to move past the vanity of the world and be vulnerable in a healthy way that allows them to grow personally and spiritually. I need to be constantly reminded of this healthy openness and vulnerability, so I'm grateful for the reminder today.

I'm just grateful for the friends, Mass readings, and prayer time that I've gotten to enjoy this summer. If it could stay summer for a few MORE weeks I'd be even more grateful, but as is also said later in the book of Ecclesiastes: "to every thing a season."

Enjoy the rest of your summer! And here are some Florida beach pics for you to enjoy:

 Palm trees just instantly give me peace!

Ah, the ocean waves!

God gave us a rainbow on the first day on the beach! Always a reminder of His Promise and love.

Peace,
Julia

"The Laborer Deserves His Keep"

I started to write this blog post yesterday, but then the children (remember, I'm a nanny now...how can you forget if you follow me on Twitter ;) came running in to ask me something and all was lost. Sigh. I'm beginning to have great empathy particularly for my single mother friends. I don't know how you do it and juggle everything else.  I've always wondered this, which is why I have, perhaps, never felt called to motherhood. Juggling stresses me out!  I can do it (figuratively speaking) and I'm even kind of good at it, but I don't choose it. And i also prefer to juggle solo ;)  I have been told I have great maternal instinct, but I choose to use that instinct towards my students or for other people's kids who I can hand back after a couple of hours.

This is why many were shocked when I announced I was going to nanny this summer. I had made my distaste for spending my free time with children rather known (teaching teenagers is a different story. You can talk more with teenagers as opposed to having to come up with new games every day and managing your own classroom is way different than having to fend for yourself in an adventure in babysitting) so people wanted to know WHY. Why take a summer job? Why take THIS summer job?

As I said in my last blog post, I did feel somewhat called to it. Maybe to feel empathy for my friends with kids who are growing by the numbers. I also had met the kids and they seemed really cool and chill and that it would be fun to get to know them (which it is). But mostly, I wanted to DO something. I know summer is for sitting and relaxing, but I have never been able to do that for long! I don't know about you, but I always have to be doing something, accomplishing some kind of goal, and making good use of my time...damn my strong work ethic!

It is interesting that, in this time of relaxing and summer, we have had at Mass this week readings about labor. This past Sunday at Mass we heard that "the harvest is abundant but the laborers are few" and in today's Gospel Jesus tells his apostles to do all these tasks that seem impossible: "Cure the sick! Raise the dead! But take nothing with you! The laborer deserves his keep." (Matt. 10: 7-15)

My thoughts on these Gospels have been: "Send more laborers into your harvest already! I'm starting to get a little frustrated and tired, here. Why can't I just lay around and get lost in video games and the traps of the culture like everyone else? Humph. And what does it mean, Jesus, that the 'laborer deserves his keep?' you just told us to keep nothing! I'm onto you!" I mean, I know I said that I like to keep busy and work, but WHY me? 

So these are the questions I have found myself asking this summer: Why labor? Why take the job in the summer? Why try to stay busy and persevere? Why labor in the Church when many make it seem like a lost cause?

I clearly have to meditate more on these things, but God does provide some answers in this week's readings. The Old Testament readings have been the story of Jacob and his sons. I love teaching this particular chapter to my students because they always freak out when they realize what a playa Jacob was: 12 sons (and probs even more kids counting his daughters) by at least four women. AND Jacob got to be blessed by God and given the name Israel even though he tricked his father Isaac into giving him the inheritance and birthright in the first place. These stories never make much sense to us because it doesn't seem fair. It's not fair that Jacob is one of the founding patriarchs of our faith when he lied and became a polygamist. Just like it might not seem fair that we have to work so hard. But I have come to see these stories as stories of hope. If they can do all that crazy and still be blessed and forgiven, certainly God will keep his covenant with me!

And so we see in the readings that it's not always fair they way things work out, but God is faithful. That is what the Old Testament readings are meant to show us: that God has kept and fulfilled His promises. It is hard to remember in the midst of our labor, but it is what does and should keep me going and why I do what I do. I just have to have these reminders from time to time and God knows that. 

The last bit of Scripture I will leave with today: "Without cost you have received, without cost you are to give." This line is also from today's Gospel and I believe sums up what I've been trying to say. It may not seem (at least it doesn't for me!) that I was given something without cost. I feel like I have earned what God has given me and worked hard for it, but the reality is, we don't have to do anything. God's grace is a free gift and we don't earn it. This a hard concept for us to understand, and sometimes we want to show off our labor like a badge of honor, but it is not ours to tote around and flaunt. This is why we labor: to share the gift that is worthy to be given freely. Not just to keep us busy, but because we have been given a gift that we are called to share. And I guess since it's not really us doing all the work in the first place, that's why we don't really deserve our "keep." But he gives us the reward of His promises any way. 

Peace,

Julia

Some evidence of my "labor" this summer:

I've become quite the baker thanks to my new little helper...

We also have Fashion Shows...

I join the moms in the waiting area at gymanstics class....

And I rejoice when I get a moment to read when they are playing with friends :) I'm like a pseudo-mom!

A Solid Start to Summer

Today is officially the beginning of summer, though I have actually been honing my pool/couch lounging skills for about 10 days now!

I decided to take my annual Ohio summer trip early on in the season since I will be working as a nanny for the next 8 weeks or so. Gah! Working with kids when I don't have to? What was I thinking?! I guess I was thinking it was God's will or something. (Also, that it is good money and a new experience that will hopefully keep me moving and active instead of permanently fixated on my new couch. Though, I'm still not entirely sure why I told myself that wasn't an option.)

My trip home was a good one- relaxing and filled with family as per usual. I got to be home for Father's Day which was really nice. I usually just send cards for the Hallmark holidays, but there I was! In the flesh! Reciting my greeting much less poetically, but still sentimentally nonetheless. We spent the day (my parents and I) by going to Mass, watching baseball and golf on tv, and later hosting my Babci, sister, nephew, brother-in-law, and our neighbor at our house.

No one is surprised that I was particularly struck by the Mass on Sunday, though, I was also quite taken aback by my new-found interest in GOLF. I've never been able to sit through broadcastings of the sport for more than 10 minutes previously at best. Perhaps with each decade comes a higher tolerance for watching men in funny pants walk across green fields and swing clubs in silence? I may never know.

The readings for this past Sunday were all about forgiveness, as the priest who was presiding at my parent's parish pointed out (cue the Don Henley which was running on repeat in my head each time the priest said the above noted *f* word. Heh.)

The first was about David and God forgiving him for, oh you know, taking another man's wife for himself and then sending said other man to the frontlines to be killed. Just your typical biblical patriarch. KIDDING. But that really happened.

The second reading is from my beloved St. Paul and his letter to the Galatians in which Paul says it is no longer he that lives, but Christ that lives in him. The priest at Mass called that line to our attention as well as how dramatic Paul's conversion was. He reminded us that Paul was killing and persecuting early Christians but then completely renounced himself and his old ways because Christ called him. Again- Christ not only forgives but then uses someone who was once doing something evil to carry out his mission.

Lastly, the Gospel is the beautiful encounter in Luke with the woman who anoints Christ's feet with oil. Some say this woman is Mary Magdalene, and she is mentioned later in the passage as following Christ when he journeys from one town to another. But the part that I was struck by was Christ explaining the action to Simon with this story:

Simon, I have something to say to you.”
“Tell me, teacher, ” he said.
“Two people were in debt to a certain creditor;
one owed five hundred day’s wages and the other owed fifty.
Since they were unable to repay the debt, he forgave it for both.
Which of them will love him more?”
Simon said in reply,
“The one, I suppose, whose larger debt was forgiven.”
He said to him, “You have judged rightly.”

We like to keep a tally of people's debts and weigh them against our own. We want people to suffer for their error or feel shame. We quickly forget that being Christian is about forgiveness and that we should want everyone to experience the true love and forgiveness of Christ. And those with the bigger debts often are the ones who God uses significantly- like David, Paul, and this woman in the Gospel- and teach us about His truth and love.

One last bit of church-y nerdiness: I noticed while at my parent's parish something that I already knew- how much a difference good liturgy really makes. At my parent's parish people were singing. The music was modern (which I know is not how all like to worship. I myself do have a place in my heart for the traditional, but I like to switch it up a little here and there), there were drums and multiple instruments, the preaching was good and involved the congregation, and the Eucharist and Scripture were still the main focus for the community and the priest. I was excited to see these books being used which made me think of my Workcamp friends (who are working hard this week in the diocese!) and my friends at Spirit and Song:

This week in Ohio went really quickly! Here are some pics of other things that happened:

Hanging out at a marina on Lake Erie with a friend...

I love dive bars and they abound in CLE.  I also can't resist a Polish dive bar... see below:

I also got to start each morning with the sun, a book, and my mom's garden :)

And I didn't realize it until I was sitting back in my apt in VA and reading my aunt's post on Facebook that today is the second anniversary of my Grandma Mary's death. In some ways, two years seems to have come and gone quickly. But I think about and pray to my Grandma often. She was such a selfless and classy lady:

I wish I had a better pic of the two of us, but here is Grandma and I in 2007 at my "going away" party before I entered the convent:

Forgiveness, Family, and summer Fun are my words for the week! A solid start to summer indeed.

Peace,
Julia

"Ordinary" Time

So much has gone on since I last wrote! I graduated! Pentecost happened! My students have graduated! And summer is finally HERE! One more day of giving exams and it is time to grade, pack up the classroom, and be FREE!

Here are some snapshots from the past month or so:

 My mom, my grandmother and I at my MA graduation in May

 Getting that diploma!

After graduation with some of my fav student graduates 

I recognize now what I somewhat surmised before- that my some of my students have taken to reading this blog. So HELLO student stalkers! Are you surprised to see that this blog is pretty much exactly what I talk about in the classroom? That is- nerdy liturgy speak?? Well....WELCOME. You don't get extra credit for this.

My reflections have really started to center around the liturgical seasons, it seems. And with the Easter season now over and Pentecost come and gone, we are left to be sent out into summer and, well, ordinary time.

There are still plenty of feasts hidden within Ordinary Time, however, and I enjoy finding them as I go to daily Mass...which, I really need to get back into the habit of going to daily Mass. But that's what summer is for, right?

I've struggled to get into a routine with this new-found freedom of living in my own place and having all of the free time! But I'm making it a goal this summer to get back into a routine of prayer and daily Mass. It seems that I was able to do this much in the summer of 2011- my first summer after teaching. Last summer was a whirlwind of travel! Which has left everyone (myself included) what does this summer have in store?

An opportunity presented itself for me to nanny for two children ages 12 and 10. I met the family, and said yes. I didn't have any plans for this summer and although working with children in my time away from children wasn't in my plans, I also didn't want to be bored all summer. I wanted a plan, a routine. I think this opportunity will be a good experience for me and a good outlet this summer. I do feel like it's part of God's plan for whatever reason.

And even though I haven't been in much of a prayer routine of late, I do continue to see God's hand in my life all over the place. I know He is at work through His Spirit especially in this time post Pentecost. I really loved this line from today's reading from St. Paul (me? enjoying something from St. Paul? I know you are shocked):

I want you to know, brothers and sisters,
that the gospel preached by me is not of human origin.
For I did not receive it from a human being, nor was I taught it,
but it came through a revelation of Jesus Christ. - Galatians 1:11

I've been getting very wrapped up in the human aspects of our faith recently for whatever reason. And I've forgotten that religion and faith is about REVELATION and a personal revelation from Christ.

Hopefully, that is what our faith is for you all, too. Not solely the human infrastructure that can be broken and fallible at times. But the infallible movements of the Spirit of God in our Church and in our lives.

The last time I met for spiritual direction, Father suggested that I re-visit the writings of St. Teresa of Avila's Interior Castle. I had tried reading it once before, but I found I couldn't get into it once again. I was praying, though, and realized that I really get inspiration from the documents of the Church and Vatican documents. (Once a Theology student, always a Theology student, apparently!). We have a new pope, so I thought I'd check out some of his new writings. Then I saw a former teen that I had worked with in my youth ministry days posted about this book:

and I was sold. I've only read the first few chapters but I am inspired by what our current Holy Father and this holy rabbi he is writing with have to say about dialogue between faiths and with non-believers. They don't speak about dialogue with non-believers in a "we must convert them way" but in a "we need to listen and meet them where they are at because they have value" kind of way. Love it! I believe the Holy Spirit is truly moving in our Church still!

I'm also excited because a friend of mine who I got to see ordained three years ago will be joining my colleagues and I as the chaplain at our school this fall!

Summer weather and some time off certainly help to put me in a good mood, but I also just love this "ordinary" time post- Pentecost to get back in a routine of my own with God and enjoy the fruits of His Spirit. 

Happy Summer, everyone!

Peace,

Julia

Ascending...

I called my parents on this Sunday evening as I am ought to do as a part of my Sunday routine and have done since the fall of 1999 when I went off to college. Back then, we had calling cards and shared a land line phone in our dorms with our roommates. Today, even though I have my cell with me at all times and voicemail instead of a machine, it is still expected and anticipated that I will call my parents on Sunday evening just as I did ten + years ago.

When speaking with my mother, she mentioned that Pentecost was fast upon us (we were discussing this because it happens to be the same weekend as my graduation. We do not often talk about liturgical feasts as part of our Sunday conversations. Though, this is ME we are talking about here, so...sounds about right.) - and she is right! Two weeks! That means: "the advocate is coming!" (John 14: 15-21)

I need not remind you how- in addition to geeking out over the Triduum- that I also have a thing for Pentecost. See exhibits A, B, and C. I also have come to appreciate the feast of the Ascension since I have been teaching my Paschal Mystery course (it is the often forgotten, but oh so important feast that completes the Paschal Mystery, after all! Christ suffered, died, and rose and then when His mission was complete, the Ascension was that ultimate grand finale.)

The Ascension is THIS THURSDAY but will be celebrated in my diocese next Sunday. I'm hoping to make it to Mass on Thursday, though, because as I said, I've really come to appreciate what is meant by Christ completing His Mission and this feast.

Maybe that's because I AM ALMOST 33- the age when Christ ascended! (I turned 32, two weeks ago. I never thought I'd be so grateful for a Taylor Swift song, but because of her song "22" I had THIS to post all over my FB and Twitter for my birthday) Phew! I've been suffering, "dying" and "resurrecting" anew for most of my teens and twenties. There's something to be said for these early thirties and finally getting to reap the benefits of those other parts of the Paschal Mystery. We all, of course, experience the cycle of the Paschal Mystery in various sufferings, "death", and resurrections throughout our lives, but when we complete our goals, we ascend.

I have completed many goals this year. One that I will be celebrating the same weekend as the feast of Pentecost!! No coincidences there. I know the Lord knows how important both receiving my Masters AND Pentecost are to me. I truly will be filled with the Spirit on that day!

And this weekend, I also achieved a goal of mine. After living with roommates/housemates for 32 years of my life- I FINALLY have my own place. We all know I chose to live in community for many of those years, sometimes for financial reasons, but also for personal growth. When I spoke of the cycle of the Paschal Mystery, living in community has very much been a source of those aforementioned elements: suffering, death, and resurrection. I have suffered, died to myself many times and in many ways, and then been made new.

The time has come, though, to ascend! And it feels so good to have my own place! I moved in with the help of a very awesome friend who now is only going to be a couple miles away from me! I am so grateful for the generosity of people, especially when it is just freely offered. I fully intended to just get movers and not need anyone's help like I did the last move, but since I am now by myself, it was fun to have someone here to help unpack boxes and get some beer and pizza in the end :)

Some last thoughts on these next two weeks of Ascension and Pentecost. One: I will be doing my annual novena to the Holy Spirit! When I need something done fast, I definitely call on the Holy Spirit. So please join me by praying THIS between this Thursday and Pentecost.

Two: the readings from Revelations have been so different for me this Easter season since having gone to Greece and seeing the Cave the Apocalypse in Patmos. Now, when I read the words of St. John such as these  I can picture exactly where he was when he received these words and visions. It was such a blessing to go there. We couldn't take pics inside, but here are some from the isle of Patmos last year:

 outside Cave of Apocalypse

 View St. John most likely had from his window!!

Me at Patmos

Anyways, I'm just really, really grateful right now. Things are definitely looking...up! Ha! Get it? Ascension?

Sigh. I'm such a nerd. But I'm finally totally okay with that. 32 is going to be great!

Peace,
Julia

Ascending Hope

I had my "Easter Alleluia" last week when Jesus broke out of the tomb and I broke out of the DC cold! I spent the Easter Octave- as I often try to do- somewhere sunny. I have such generous friends in LA as you know, who have let me come and stay with them three times this past year: Last summer, this new years, and now my Spring Break as well.

I am fully clothed in this picture because I got BURNT the first day I was over zealous with the sun. 

Before I left for LA, I had a stern talking to with the DC weather and told it it better get warm and stop this winter nonsense by the time I came back! So, DC dwellers, YOU ARE WELCOME because I take full responsibility for this 90 degree weather we had last week and I'm not even sorry. I'm just not.

So Alleluia! It is the Easter Season and finally Spring! The Cherry Blossoms are finally in bloom because they just weren't happening before I left. Here's a sad, sad shot of the (lack of) cherry blossoms on Easter Sunday:

So I spent Easter in DC, then whisked away to LA for the Easter Octave and spent a lovely Divine Mercy Sunday at St. Monica's parish in Santa Monica, CA. I have been to Mass there before and really like the way they do liturgy there. The music was beautiful, the priests homily was concise and heartfelt, and the parishoners play an active role- all the things you hope for when attending Mass on Sunday.

But now I'm back in DC and back to work and in the midst of some stress again as I figure out my move to my new apartment in VA ( at least the weather has been beautiful!) I'm trying my best, though, to hold onto that Easter joy.

I went to Mass today at a parish close to where I live and have found myself at for the past couple of months now mostly because the pastor at my actual parish has changed and my spiritual director is in residence at this other parish. I know you're aren't supposed to follow around or float because of the priest (Mass times also have something to do with it). The parish I have been attending recently has a slightly later Mass, so that's probably the real reason I have been going there. They also have a nice Blessed Sacrament chapel that I like to pray in before going into Mass. I spent much of my Lent praying in that chapel.

So I went to Mass this morning at this *not my parish* parish that I am speaking of and scooted myself into the middle of one of the pews (because let's be honest, I always end up getting scooted to the middle when late arrivals squeeze in, so why not make my start there?) and OF COURSE a family with children squeeze in as the processional music begins. But no big deal, that's what happens. The three elementary aged girls sit down and all have iphones in hand. They are all playing games on said iphones and don't even look up as the priest processes in.

Now, I KNOW I am not a parent. I know getting children to keep still in Mass is difficult. But I also know, some how, some way, that my parents got my sister and I to do it. I may have squirmed and tried to go on a trip to the bathroom ever week to get out of that pew, but more Sundays than not I was sitting, listening to the readings, maybe daydreaming, but always standing and sitting and kneeling and singing.

These girls were doing none of that. I of course wanted to judge them and their mother. I was so appalled that they were not being told to put the phones away! They sat and played iphone games right through the Gloria, the Liturgy of the Word, I had to reach over them to hand their mother the offertory basket...it continued until their family left right after communion. It took all I had within me not to huff or puff or roll my eyes as they did so.

I was upset for many reasons, as you can imagine. 1.) I don't care where you are at, it's probably not healthy to play a video game for almost an hour straight, especially when you are in the presence of a real live community and have the opportunity for actual human interaction. 2.) these girls were old enough to be able to participate in the liturgy. 3.) I was just so sad that God was present in front of them- in the Word and then in the Eucharist and they were missing it! God's Word being spoken to them and they not able to hear it. God coming alive for them in the Sacrament and they not aware of it.

I also was upset at myself because in this situation I become the high and mighty Catholic, judging instead of welcoming. Wanting to condemn instead of setting an example or inviting them to participate.

So in this moment, I actually was having an opportunity to put into practice the "new evangelization" that we talk about and that I studied. Here are some young girls who are here at Mass... And I had to tell myself that, too. They are at least here. But that made me all the more upset that they were here and missing everything going on around them. So I tried to set an example. I tried to really listen, to really pray. To not be hateful or judgmental or disapproving at the sign of peace, but rather joyful. And to keep myself in check for my motives throughout the Mass for what I was doing in each moment that I was there.

It was difficult not to be hopeless in those moments. Here is the youth and future of the Church- playing video games on iphones and blatantly ignoring God present in front of them. But that is only one face of the Church, and they are not hopeless. I see attentive, bright faces each day in my classes and many of my students give me hope for the Church.

And another face of the Church are those of us who want to judge or condemn others for their actions or inactions. That is another reality that makes me hopeless. Our motivation to evangelize cannot be to "save" others or to show others that we are "right" and they are "wrong." I really had to call on to myself what my motivation as a catechist is in that moment. What did I want those girls to see? I wanted them to see a young woman who likes participating in the liturgy, who likes to pray and NEEDS to pray. I wanted them to see joy, not disgust.

We all fall on one side of the spectrum at one time or another. We can be the ones on our phones, not listening or aware of God's presence right in front of us. We can also be the ones letting our judgment and disgust get in the away of effective, helpful, real ministry.

The Fruit of the Mystery of the Ascension is HOPE. I want to enter into these days of Easter before the Ascension and Pentecost with lots of it. We can help each other!

Happy Easter!
Peace,
Julia