Heaven Isn't Too Far Away

Yes, that's right. I just used a Warrant lyric as a title for this blog. You're welcome. Here's even a link to the video

Talk of heaven has been the theme for my past week as I taught the Ascension to my students. And now we have upon us the theme of Christ the King today which we celebrate Jesus as the King of Heaven and Earth.

And here's another 80s hit with a heavenly theme

For the record, as much as I LOVED this song growing up, Belinda Carlisle's concept of heaven being a place on earth is not liturgically correct. Heaven HELP US if Heaven is like a place here on a earth.

Also, I never understood the children in masks in that video. Makes heaven seem a little scary, huh? Though, if heaven is a place on earth, I think that would be scary.

That's why it's so great that it's not. We don't know exactly what heaven will be like, but we do know we will be in complete union with God. I know I've mentioned before how my students don't understand how this could be positive. They think it's going to be boring. I keep telling them that getting to just SIT and BE for all eternity sounds AWESOME. They also can't imagine a world without video games, so they worry me a little.

Though today is a great feast in its own right, I was struck yesterday at daily Mass by the Gospel reading:

Some Sadducees, those who deny that there is a resurrection,
came forward and put this question to Jesus, saying,
"Teacher, Moses wrote for us,
If someone's brother dies leaving a wife but no child,
his brother must take the wife
and raise up descendants for his brother.
Now there were seven brothers;
the first married a woman but died childless.
Then the second and the third married her,
and likewise all the seven died childless.
Finally the woman also died.
Now at the resurrection whose wife will that woman be?
For all seven had been married to her."


I was struck because these Sadducees sound like my students. They are posing some very specific questions to Jesus: "Well what if this dude marries this girl, but then HE dies, and then another dude marries her, and then He dies, and then..."

UGH. I HATE the "what if" scenarios my students create just to stump me in class.

The Sadducees are doing the same thing- trying to stump Jesus. Only here's the thing- I'M NOT JESUS. Wait. WHAT? Yeah. I'm not. Glad we cleared that up.

Though, I AM the students' teacher, which is why they pay me the big bucks. (yeah, right). And the people of Jesus' time called Him "Rabbi" and "Master". (Note: my students call me neither of these things).

So lately I have been kind of beating myself up when I DON'T have all the answers for the students. I want them to understand and answer their questions, but the reality is, again, NOT GOD here. Also, Heaven is a MYSTERY to us in a way. But it is a reality that we should want to work towards, so I want to make that message as clear as possible.

God has taken to humbling me this week. I mentioned last post how Mother Nature was perhaps making me a little vulnerable. Well, i don't know if that's still the case or the change in the weather, or the inquisition of students, or just the need for the upcoming Thanksgiving break, but God has been allowing me to be a little vulnerable and broken down this week. And humility is good, because it keeps us close to Him. I just wish it didn't feel so icky at times.

I finally got to have spiritual direction (Yay!) and it was so good. I have been struggling- as is often the case with ministers- to separate my prayer time that's just for ME vs turning it into lesson planning time for my classes. I will go to pray and immediately think of what I can use in a lesson plan or bring to my classes. Lately, I've just needed to be me in front of Jesus. Not Julia the teacher, Just Julia. (no jazz hands, please :).

Our bishop in the Arlington Diocese has been promoting a devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus recently. My spiritual director and I both agreed that we didn't initially understand fully the beauty of this devotion. My roommates and I have been talking about having an image of the Sacred Heart blessed and dedicated in our house, and while I wasn't against it, I guess I didn't understand the need I had in my life for this devotion at this particular time.

At Spiritual Direction, Father shared with me how beautiful the devotion really is- How we can go to the Sacred Heart of Jesus and just allow ourselves to be loved by Him. It sounds so simple, but it is what I needed this week. These past couple of months have been so full of ministry opportunities and I'm so grateful for them, but I've found that I needed to be ministered TO of late. And to just allow the Sacred Heart of Jesus to love me, all going back to that whole concept of being the Beloved.


So Jesus, though breaking me down a little, is doing some good things in my life- drawing me close to Him again after a couple of months of giving a lot in ministry. I think this period of time will be a time of refreshment. We have Thanksgiving coming, up and...omg...ADVENT NEXT WEEK! Our liturgical new year! Time to make some resolutions!

Also, this is the LAST SUNDAY for the "old" Mass translations. Beginning on the 1st Sunday of Advent next week, we will have some NEW responses in the English Mass. I've blogged about this before. I'm a little nervous, little excited in such a ridiculously nerdy way. I'm ready to begin the changes and see what fruit they bring.

That seems to be a theme- a little stepping outside our comfort zone, a little change, to bring about great fruit if we let it.

Heaven isn't too far away, people :) We are working towards it little by little in each of these ways.

Have a blessed Thanksgiving! I know we all have much to be thankful for.

Peace,
Julia

Cursing and Crying

So I was supposed to have Spiritual Direction today for the first time in I don't know how long and had been somewhat looking forward to it. I had no idea what I was really going to say. I've still been focusing on detachment and spiritual poverty in my prayer, but I haven't really been DOING anything of those things.

My prayer has been there, but it's more like I'm just kind of punching my time card in with Jesus. I will swing by past Adoration before or after the gym and I know that's good and all, but I haven't been actually practicing the spiritual detachment or emptying out myself before God as one of the definitions of spiritual poverty.

(I know because I just gave a test to my students in which spiritual poverty was a vocab word. I also accepted other variations on the definition. I'm a NICE teacher. Sometimes :)

Something came up and Father had to cancel and it really was probably for the best. I took that time to go pray and actually set out to try and do the things I have been SAYING I've been praying about for the past month or so.

I should start by saying I have had a crazy couple of weeks. Nothing bad, just a lot going on at school with the end of the quarter and the non-stop ministry month that was October sneaking into the beginning of November.

I also should start by saying I have been in a somewhat vulnerable state of late. I'm assuming it just begins with a P, ends with an S and has an M in the middle. Sorry if that's TMI for my male readers. It happens.

I had just been having typical mini-moments of "humph" that is affliated with such a state, but today I had the tears. I'm not ashamed to say that because they were just mini-tears and somewhat laughable, but they felt good in a weird way at the same time.

I couldn't remember the last time I had a little emotional teary-eyed moment. It surprisingly did NOT occur when I was babysitting last Saturday and the beautiful child asked me TO PRAY PART OF THE ROSARY with him! This could have ended in ovary explosion (again, sorry for too much detail, boys. Please see this post from earlier this year for further explanation about the somewhat vulgar image).

Anyways, the tears came- as they often do with the P and the M and the S- in a stupid, laughable moment. I was crossing the street and actually playing the voicemail Father had left me saying he had to cancel our appointment. As I'm doing this- crossing IN the CROSSWALK, mind you, with seconds to spare- some jerk lays on his horn and calls me an idiot...FOR WALKING IN THE CROSSWALK.

Being the sass queen that I am and now the proud East Coaster, I let out a little NYC and told him what was what. Namely, that I was IN THE CROSSWALK.

I'm sure you've all had similar experiences in cars (or you know, in other modes of transportation like on foot...) where you just get so ANGRY! And you don't even KNOW the person but you DESPISE them!

This was the case and when I made it to my own vehicle, I sat in the car and I shed a tear. I did.

But the release felt good. And so I continued it before Jesus in the chapel.

It was then I realized I haven't been detaching or emptying or even really PRAYING the way I wanted to. I apologized to Jesus, and then I felt the nudge to look to Scripture. This is what I turned to:

"Jesus Curses a Fig Tree" and the "Cleansing of the Temple"

Cursing and Anger, for the win! :)

The story of Jesus cursing the fig tree seems funny without the bookend of that story. As is common technique for the Gospel writer, Mark, the story of the fig tree has the cleansing of the temple smashed into the middle of the beginning and the end of the fig tree story.

The story begins with Jesus cursing at a fig tree because it didn't have anything on it. Ha! I love Mark's picture of a Sassy Jesus.

After he throws everything around and tells people what's what in the temple, he returns to the fig tree and the fig tree He had cursed is now withered. BAM! Do not mess with the best!

But then Jesus uses the fig tree to teach THIS lesson to his apostles:

"Have faith in God. Amen, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be lifted up and thrown into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it shall be done for him. Therefore I tell you, all that you ask for in prayer, believe that you will receive it and it shall be yours."

And for some reason (we probably all know what reason by now) I cried some more.

Jesus was using his sass to tell us to TRUST Him. This is a language I SPEAK. Also, it spoke to my needing to empty everything out so that there is NO doubt in my heart. DETACHMENT. Detach from the doubt. Detach from going through the motions. Be a little spontaneous. Yell at some fig trees or whatever else might listen :) Be vulnerable.

I like it. Sassy Jesus never lets me down.

I also sang (in my head. I know that's WEIRD but that's what I DO sometimes in prayer. Secret's out) this song that I have always loved and kind of puts me in my place before God (and may or may not get me a little weepy from time to time):

Before You Now, in the beauty of Your Presence
And as I bow, you surround me with Your radiance
I worship, I worship You.
I worship, I worship You.

Before You Now, as your loving arms enfold me
I am in awe of your power and Your glory
I worship, I worship You
I worship, I worship you

I surrender to the call upon my heart
I surrender to Your Passion and desire....


It repeats and it is pretty :) And that is all you get from me today. Enough secrets for one post!

Please pray for another Senior Retreat we are going on tomorrow. I really do pray for these kids and I know your prayers work! Thanks!
Peace,
Julia

The Elephant in the Room

When I was thinking about what to title this post, I thought of this idiom, but then was confused as to which was the actual, appropriate idiom involving pachyderms because we have many:

pink elephants

white elephant/Yankee Swap/I'm sure I'm missing another name for it...

and the title of this post and the appropriate idiom-

elephant in the room.


(Also, for a good laugh on how ridiculous the English language and our idioms are, check out this. It still makes me giggle every. time.)

So what is the illustrious elephant in the proverbial room of which I speak? It's something I have avoided outright mentioning on this blog because I haven't found it necessary or important enough, but now folks- today is the day I come clean...





I'm single, y'all.






Alright, I may have mentioned it before ,and many of you know me, so it's no big secret. I do feel, though, that talking about singledom is something no one wants to really do. There's a stigma around it for the person and for people in general, I feel. People don't like to say they are single (for the most part) and others are constantly trying to find ways for their single friends not to be any longer.

But what's the big deal? I've had more than a couple newsblogs or mags come across my email with a "single girl" hypothesis attached lately. Articles from the Times, etc all trying to unpack this mysterious single girl enigma.

Shoot, I've even heard talks by priests and theologians say that in not so many words single Catholic women in this generation are kind of screwed (or not so much. poor choice of words on my part. heh).

And I have to admit, I've brought the quandary to God myself since it seems I know many awesomely exceptional single Catholic women, but not as much so in the dude department.

Now, God has ALWAYS sent me the right people at the right time in my life. This would be a SCIENCE FACT (if it had anything to do with science. It doesn't). But I have known it to be true.

Some people ask: how can a loving, awesome God exist or be so awesome if bad things happen? Now, I do not equate a dude shortage with the aformentioned "bad things", but can the same question be applied: How can there be a dude shortage if such an awesome God exists?

Well, we know the former question about bad things happening to be a fallacy and can often be explained to people: God is GOOD. But because of Original Sin, bad things happen. Also, sometimes God allows suffering to draw us closer to Him. Those are the truths.

So the same formula should be applied to dudes. If the first statement that God doesn't exist because bad things happen is FALSE, so then, ergo, hereto, therefore, hence, whathaveyou the latter question must also be FALSE.

To say that there are no good Catholic mens to be had is limiting our God's power and awesomeness. Am I right?! And while it can be true that the surplus of single Catholic gals could also be a result of Original Sin in society, it could also be God uniting us to Himself at this time.

So these articles that I mentioned that are trying to rationalize and justify and proove why so many single women are out there right now, they might have some truth, but I still hold to my truth. My God is great and has always provided.

Then why am I still single? Meh, honestly, I choose it to some extent. I like my SPACE. I like my freedom. And we all know how I feel about small children. I'm not in any rush. So apparently that puts me on the same page as God, and frankly, that's the only place I want to be.

Peace,
Julia

Detachment

So last post I wrote about ALL of the things. This seems as the appropriate follow-up, then, to talk about having NONE of the things...right?

This past Wednesday I helped to lead a retreat for the seniors at school. I spoke to my sister on the phone later that night and pondered that I couldn't believe I've been attending high school retreats since I was 15- oh, 15 years ago. And the formats and themes of these retreats don't really change. But that's part of what makes them successful.

This past week was a successful senior retreat, I believe, and I pray that the students took their experience and messages to heart.

As I sat at the retreat, though, in small group with the kids or on my own as they got to have Confession and reflection time, I took the experience in- an experience and format I've witnessed SO. MANY. times before- and longed for a "first feeling" like (hopefully) some of the kids were having. You know, the kind of feeling of something NEW. The "Ah-ha!" moment where the light bulb goes off. I knew some of the students were having such an experience for the first time and I longed for one myself.

Even though the experience for me of retreat (particularly a high school one!) has become rote for me in many ways (I've given some of the same talks and testimonies for 8 years now...scary!) I KNOW that God still works through them and I am so grateful. The retreat this week- though pretty basic and familiar- was I know still blessed because we were prayerful and many kids were so open to the Spirit.

Enter the key: Openness.

I talked about this with many of the students in my small group, and this has also been a theme in some of my classes that I teach lately. Kids always want to know why they don't FEEL or SEE God. Many times the answer is: we aren't open to Him.

Some pics from the retreat:



Students in small groups presenting images of blessing (above) and my colleague giving a talk (below):




I my Paschal Mystery class, we've been focusing on the humanity of Christ and why he had to been born into poverty. This brings up the issue of money, the story of the Rich Man in the Gospel (Matt. 19:16-24), and spiritual poverty. We read a quote from Mother Teresa that says SOMETHING along the lines of (though I am paraphrasing): "I think it is more difficult for the wealthy to make room for God." And I asked the kids to agree or disagree with that statement. I got answers on both sides, of course.

But it brought up the issue of spiritual poverty and that no matter what- rich or poor- spiritual poverty asks us to make enough room in our hearts for God. If we are consuming our lives with ALL of the other things, that doesn't leave much room for Him. Spiritual poverty is emptying ourselves out for God and recognizing He IS God and we are not.

Hearing my students talk about emptying ourselves out to make room for God and being open to things God might be revealing to us convicted me this week. As I said at the beginning, I have been praying for one of those "Aha" moments, which I know will look different at 30 than it did at 16, 22, 26, etc...I have already experienced many of the things! But I can always approach these ideas in new OR familiar ways (the beauty of getting older- experience ;)

Am I even being open or empty enough for God to enter my life in new ways? Last week, I wrote about ALL of the things and they weren't bad things, but what are my priorities right now, even if they are good ones? And does it include making time for God and being open to His designs?

This leads, then, to detachment. For so long, I've longed for that feeling I felt when I was discerning religious life and much of that feeling came from the detachment and letting go of various parts of my life. I've even spoken more recently about feeling like I want to sacrifice something because of this.
But as my spiritual director pointed out then, we don't just go around making sacrifices for no reason. They are things we bring to prayer and are well thought out.

Detachment, however, is something we can practice more regularly, I think, and is similar to sacrifice. We just remove ourselves a little from some of the things we might love or desire in order to make more room for the Lord. We let go of ideas or thoughts that keep us from being open to Him.

St. Teresa of Avila- from whom I'm still reading pieces of "The Way of Perfection"- also convicted me on this idea of detachment this week.

She was talking about how in religious life, detachment is easy to an extent because many of the things are removed already for them. This is something, perhaps, that I miss ( at times. let's not get too crazy ;)

"With regard to small things, we must be very careful, as soon as we grow fond of them, to withdraw our thoughts from them and turn to God. His Majesty will help us do this. He has granted us that great favor of providing that, in this house, most of it is done already, but it remains for us to become detached from our own selves, and it is a hard thing to withdraw from ourselves and oppose ourselves because we are very close to ourselves and love ourselves very dearly. It is here that humility can enter, for this virtue and that of detachment from self, I think, always go together."

"For this body of ours has one fault: the more you indulge it, the more things it discovers to be essential to it. It is extraordinary how it likes being indulged; and, if there is any reasonable pretext for indulgence, however little necessity for it there may be, the poor soul is taken in and prevented from making progress..."

These truth-isms struck me this week and I've begun to think and pray about some thoughts and behaviors I can detach from- with the goal of making more room for an 'Aha' moment, or close moment with God.

Today is one of my dear friends from my women's group birthday today! She points out on her blog that this year she is sharing her day with the NEWLY "Blessed" John Paul II! It's his new feast day!



You may know him as the Pope we had from 1978-2005, I know him as the only Pope I ever had (until 6 years ago) and also as the guy my Babci has in a frame hanging in her kitchen (and in practically every corner of her house...only Polish pope! Holler!)

While I actually (surprisingly) enjoy reading Benedict's encyclicals more, John Paul II was very prolific and gave us many documents on ecumenism (traveling and other religions/cultures were so important to him- he was the most traveled pope!) as well as the Theology of the Body which we are starting to see the fruits of now.

Blessed John Paul II, pray for us! That we may be OPEN and empty ourselves out to receive all God has for us...like you did.

Yeah, for Slavs! ha! ;)

Peace,
Julia

(F)All of the Things

See what I did there?

Sometimes on this blog you get a rambling of my spiritual life or spiritual musings. Other times, you get life updates. Sometimes you get both.

Sometimes you get ALL OF THE THINGS.

This post will be the latter because it has only been a couple weeks into fall and I have already done ALL OF THE THINGS- ministerially and autumn-ly speaking.

Let's start with ministry, shall we? Last week was a big week. 1st) we had our annual all-school liturgy with the Bish. I have grown accustom to playing and accompanying Masses for His Excellency, so it was nbd (but really always kind of a big deal).

2.) I was invited to give a talk on MEDIA and using it in ministry to a group of youth ministers...fancy that! I think it went pretty well. I gave some quotes from Church documents that I've used in past papers to prove that the Church is all about the use of media for evangelization (Inter Mirifica, Evangelii Nuntiandi, Gaudium et Spes, etc) As well as some activities I've used in my classroom or at the parish. I also spoke about SEMIOTICS for all you Media Studies nerds out there. Holler!

Here's a pic a friend took on her cell from my talk- there was no place to put the mic pack, so they stuck it on my boot. Classic Julia:



3.) Later that week, I attended a liturgy workshop to learn about the new translation of the Mass that we are going to start using beginning the 1st Sunday of Advent. I had heard about the changes for a while and knew some of what was changing, but not all. And I- like many people- did not understand why. I wanted to make sure (especially as a religion teacher and music minister!) that I had some solid knowledge to share with the kids.

I could email you my outlines of notes that I took (LITURGY NERD!) but I will simply give you the highlights that I've already shared with my classes as well as these two helpful video links:

From Life Teen ( a popultar Youth Ministry resource and movement in the Church): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ue4GaotluU4


From Spirit and Song- our music publisher that we use at school and for youth events in the Diocese: http://www.spiritandsong.com/Joyful_heart

There is an obnoxious radio show here on my Top 40 station that gives "5 Things you Need to Know" in the morning. If I were to give "5 Things You Need to Know" about the New Mass Translation, it would be:

1.) just the English speaking countries are being affected. The Spanish, French, etc. translations are fine as is 'cause they did it right the first time. This new translation will actually bring us closer to the Spanish, etc translations. For example, We now say "And also with you" when the priest says, "The Lord be With you". The actual translation from Latin is (and will now be) "and with your Spirit." The Spanish already says "y con tu espiritu"

2.) the changes will bring back a sacredness or mystery to the Mass. I know that "and with your Spirit" is not how we TALK. And that's why they changed it to such in the 60s to be more colloquial, but some of the translation also lost of some its sacred, mysterious meaning. Yes, the 60s translation is more casual, but the new translation does put us in the mindset that we are in Church and there is something deeper going on.

3.) The new translation will also help catechize. For example, saying something as simple as "and with your Spirit" teaches a whole bunch of things! That the Holy Spirit is present and will descend upon the Eucharist through the priest, etc...

4.) The changes are more connected to Scripture. For example: "Glory to God in the Highest and on earth peace to people of good will" is what the angel ACTUALLY SAYS to the shepherds in Luke's Gospel. Though it definitely will be weird to sing after singing the other words for so long!

5.) The new language may seem more exclusive (ie- changing "We" to "I" in the creed and changing "all" to "many" in the Eucharistic prayer) but it again teaches us theologically that yes, we are all saved but we still have to be accountable for our actions and do what is right to help get us to heaven. The Scripture just last Sunday was about the heavenly banquet and how many were invited but few actually showed...

Anyways, if you have other questions, you can leave a comment or tweet me! :) @julz422 @MsStrukely

Speaking of Twitter, a dear friend of mine recently tweeted the following to me:

" @julz422 What in the world has gotten into you? Did someone shove a cornucopia into your heart or invade your soul with decorative gourds?"

This was after I had tweeted the following:

"Maybe I do just want to live on a farm in VA"

I JUST LOVE FALL THINGS! (And HATE winter things. Ugh...) And I got to do many of these favorite things this weekend.

So after a week full 'o' ministry I had a nice, long Columbus Day weekend. I started it off by hanging out in a field in VA celebrating 2 of my friends who got engaged (each to different dudes- that makes 4 engaged people at this party to celebrate!)

You're welcome for the math help.

It was super fun. Here is a pic of me and some of my friends celebrating:



So being out in the field was fall and festive. So was the yummy seasonal beer.

I got my lesson planning out of the way on Sunday so on Monday I could do more of the fall and festive. Apple picking and wine tasting!!

CHECK OUT THE GOURDS! (for those of you unfamiliar with my seeming obsession with decorative gourds, you should know that there is a HIGHLY INAPPROPRIATE but kind of hilarious McSweeney's article on "decorative gourds" that my friends and I recite to one another annually...)

Also, we know that I am NOT the Martha Stewart that many of my roommates tend to be, so I often lovingly mock them for the decorative gourds they distribute throughout our house to announce the arrival of fall...

GOURDS!!!


My friend picking apples...


Fall can now end because I have done all of these things. JUST KIDDING! I DON'T WANT IT TO! I LOVE FALL!!!

So that's what I've been up to!

Peace,
Julia

Where You At?

It seems like forever since I've blogged, but yet it's only been a couple weeks. And at the same time, I feel like time has flown. Oh, the never ending quandary of time. Where has it been, yet where does it go? I found myself saying to God before I sat down to pray today: "I'm going to be real glad when it's eternity and we don't have to worry about TIME all the (er) time." For reals.

My students always think heaven sounds like it's going to be real boring, but that's because (well, it's because of a lot of things...) but I think it's just because they have yet to appreciate the beauty of NOT running around and just getting to BE.

We all know God can take us whenever He wants us, and for some it seems like they go too soon, but my guess is He in His infinite wisdom will take us when He knows we are ready to just sit and BE for all eternity...and that is looking better and better as we get older and more tired...am I right? :)

So amid the flurry of the lesson planning, weekend trips, and grad school research, I stopped to ask myself today: "Where am I at with God? What's He doing in my life right now?"

You would think I would be asking myself this everyday! I do take time everyday to at least give God a shout out, but last week I found myself just wanting to SIT with Him for a LONG time and I hadn't DONE that in a while.

So go ahead, I'll wait :) Ask yourself: "What is God doing in my life right now? How is He working?" and "Where am I at with my goals for our relationship, spiritual life, etc."

(Can you tell I am in need of my women's prayer group right about now?? ;) Ladies, where you at?! We would meet once a month and ask ourselves these questions, but it has been waayyyyyy too long! Hopefully, we will re-commence soon.

Well, I can, of course, speak for myself and say that I need to be spending more time with God's word to figure out what He is saying to me. A couple blog posts ago, it was clear He was speaking to me through the book "He and I" which was totally what I needed at that moment. Today, when reading Scripture, I was reading from my fav Gospel writer- Sassy Mark ;)- about the father who wanted demons cast out of his son. He says to Jesus, "Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief" (Mark 9:24).

And I think this perfectly sums up where I am with God right now. It seems like a contradiction of terms: how can the dude BELIEVE yet be asking Christ to help with His unbelief?

But that verse makes sense to me at this moment 'cause I think I'm there. I'm believing and things are GOOD, but if everything was smooth sailing I wouldn't be struggling to take time in prayer and all that jazz, right? So, I do believe, Lord. Help me in the areas where I am still struggling.

That's kind of all I got right now, but that's enough, I guess. I was reading Teresa of Avila's "Way of Perfection" and stopped last month because it didn't feel like the right time to read it. I picked it up again today and the chapters 6 & 7 on love seem to be what I need to hear right now, so praise God for that.

I'll share with you a little of her stuff from Chap 7 on true love in true friends:

...to get to know God's friends is a very good way of 'having' Him...For, under the Lord, I owe it to such persons [friends]that I am not in hell; I was always very fond of asking them to commend me to God, and so I prevailed upon them to do so... - Way of Perfection, Teresa of Avila

With that, pray for me friends! Until next time...

Peace,
Julia

Remembering 9/11 on the 10th Anniversary

I'm sure there is no coincidence that the 10th Anniversary of 9/11 fell on a Sunday. 9/11 is, of course, one of those dates that we will forever reflect upon and Sunday is a God-given day for reflection.

Today is a day when we ask one another: "Where were you when....?" Along with our parents' "I was doing ______ when I found out JFK had been shot" or perhaps even our grandparents' "I was _______ when Pearl Harbor was bombed." It's a day when everyone remembers exactly where they were when.

Prior to 9/11, the only thing my generation had as an approximate equivalent was perhaps the Oklahoma City Bombing. I remember being in 8th grade and being asked to stand next to my desk for a moment of silence as we watched the names of all those children who had died scroll across the TV.

As the anniversary approached, many people started to ask the question and reflect on: "where were you during 9/11?" I met a friend for coffee on Friday who happened to be my Campus Minister at CUA ten years ago and we discussed where we were that day. We were both on campus during 9/11. I was in my junior year Media seminar. She was working in Campus Ministry.

I remember my professor stopping class and pulling up the article on the internet that announced that one of the towers at the World Trade Center had been hit. I had just been to the World Trade Center for the first time almost exactly one year prior with some friends who showed me around NYC. There was an image along with the article up on screen that will always, of course, be etched in my mind. There it was: a plane dangling out of the middle of the World Trade Center building.

Classes were cancelled and I walked down towards the campus ministry office. As I walked, I was stopped by an acquaintance who asked me: "did you hear the Pentagon was hit too?" I shook my head. I hadn't heard, but it was also in disbelief.

Then I remember being afraid for the first time during this day. The Pentagon was far enough from Catholic U, but what if people were going to try and hit the Capitol building which was only 2-3 miles away? We would, of course, find out later that this was indeed part of the plan, had not some brave men and women crashed the plane in PA to save the nation's capitol.

I met the priest I was close with at Campus Ministry and he asked me if I would help spread the word about a Mass the university was going to put together with the President of the University and Cardinal McCarrick. I said I would. My parents tried to call me while I was running around distributing flyers. When I returned to my room in the middle of the day, I had voice messages on the answering machine (pre-cell phone!) from my parents, my sister, and one of my best friends who lived in KY wondering where I was and if I was alright.

I went to the Mass and then I went to a place on campus called "The House" where some of my friends lived. I remember sitting with one of my best friends, watching the news as the second tower just crumbled. I couldn't believe I was watching it happen live on TV. I tried to block out images of what I knew were people jumping from the building. I just held my breath and prayed.

It was a sunny, beautiful day weather wise. I remember wearing a T-shirt and jeans (a rarity for me, come to think of it! I'm not a T-Shirt and jeans kind of girl, as we know ;). The weather was similar to that of today as I now sit in my t-shirt and mesh shorts having just come from the gym, lesson planning in my own classroom ten years later.

This 10th anniversary of Sept. 11th comes literally after seven days and seven nights of rain here in the District. We have had recent hurricanes and earthquakes, and school was even cancelled on Friday because of flooding in the NoVa area. Looking at images and articles on Facebook made me paranoid that this could be the end of the world, especially with the anniversary of 9/11 coming. This is, of course, a paranoid point-of-view and not the way to live as Christians. We have Christ as our hope to trust in.

I expected there to be some kind of memoriam before, during, or after Mass today. I did not expect, however, for the Church to do a Requiem Mass. I had read the readings for today and they were all about forgiveness. Perfect messages for an anniversary such as this, I thought.

When I walked into my parish, I should have known something was up. The veil that usually is white which lays across the tabernacle was purple today- a penitential color. I knew it wasn't Advent or Lent, so there had to be some reason for it! (I love that our Church gives us cues- we can tell there's going to be something special going on from the vestments the priest wears, liturgical colors, etc. I also LOVE in a ridiculous liturgy-nerd way that our parish lays a veil over the tabernacle to begin with, but that's another blog for another time ;)

Father processed in wearing the black garments that I had taught my students about, but never actually seen for myself. There are very few occasions on which black vestments are worn. Even the funerals I've been to have been white, purple, or green vestments depending on the priest and parish.

The readings were from Lamentations, Psalm 23, Paul's Letter to the Romans, and John's Gospel of Jesus as "the Way, the Truth, and the Life." And while I was disappointed to not have the original readings for the day proclaimed on forgiveness, these certainly provided messages of comfort and hope.

The Mass ended in silence with no recessional hymn, but silence and four bell tolls which I thought was pretty powerful. I never ceased to be amazed at the power of silence.

As I drove to the gym and school this afternoon to complete my post-Mass Sunday routine of workout and lesson planning disciplines respectively, I forgot that I would be going past the Pentagon. Traffic was a little backed up because the Pentagon had provided additional police today. Security was heightened around the district this weekend, as you can imagine. Cars were no doubt stopping to see if anything was being done around the Pentagon today to commemorate the event. There wasn't anything that I could see, but I saw the large flag placed on the side of the building where the plane had crashed and I remembered.

Thank you for indulging me in this reflection. You all know I'm not a particularly patriotic person, but I am a reflective one :) And there is no doubt that this event affected us each deeply, regardless of faith or politics.

The hymn we sang at Mass today was the same one we sang at the Mass I helped to spread the word about 10 years ago:

"O God our Help in Ages Past, our hope for years to come,
Our shelter from the stormy blast,
And our eternal home."

We will never forget. And we should always remember our hope in Christ, especially on days like this.

Peace,
Julia