Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Advent Resolutions

I arrived home from Thanksgiving break last night to Christmas lights, a Christmas tree, and decorations galore! My Martha Stewart-esque roommate wastes no. time. It must be Advent!

Some of you have asked about what kind of Advent resolutions I am making. One that I can share is that I am making a conscious effort to say a rosary every morning. I have gotten out of the habit of saying a full rosary everyday. So I put my rosary that I usually carry in my purse by where I place my ipod in my car. My commute in the morning is usually 30-40 minutes, during which I typically pretend to be Sara Bareilles or Lea Michele from Glee and sing from the top of my lungs while downing my morning coffee. This ritual will now be replaced for the time being with a morning rosary. Upon completion of the rosary I can commence my delusional superstardom for the duration of the commute :)

Turns out, when you say a rosary in the car, one is also much less likely to swear at fellow morning commuters from behind the wheel. Go figure!

I also am going to make this season truly penitential and give up something. Typically done during Lent, I'm going to give up sweets this Advent. I know that with upcoming Christmas parties this is going to be a feat, but I hope it will remind me of the waiting that we are observing and make Christmas all that more celebratory!

I also want to unite all of my waiting with Mary and Christ. Anytime I get impatient or frustrated with someone or something in my life that I am having to "wait" for, I hope to offer it up with the waiting during this liturgical season.

I have a couple other little Advent observences that I'm offering up, but that's just for me and Jesus ;)

I am also looking forward to Spiritual Direction on Dec. 4. It is much needed! I'm sure I'll have more insight to share after I meet with Father this weekend....until then....

Happy Advent! What resolutions are you making this new year?

Peace,
Julia

Sunday, November 21, 2010

The Year in Pics...

Girls Getaway Weekend, Wintergreen, VA, Nov. 2010
My dear friend and her little miracle! May, 2010

Me and my new nephew Lucas, Oct. 2010


Visiting friends in CA! May, 2010

Florida Trip! May 2010

Snowpocalypse Feb 2010

Retreat! Jan 2010

Youth Ministry Retreat Feb. 2010

Dressing up like Lady Gaga for my 29th bday, April 2010








Countdown to the New Year!

10! 9! 8! 7!...

The new liturgical year that is ;) Man, I'm such a liturgical NERD. For reals.

Today was the feast of Christ the King! That means a.) Advent is almost here and b.) it is the end of our liturgical year! CRAZY!

I was just looking back today on Facebook at my pics from this year. I was able to add yet MORE fall winetasting pics as I just returned from another great getaway weekend. As I looked back at my pics from this year, there were lots of fabulous trips filled with lots of faces of fabulous friends.

Christ the King/beginning of Advent also coincide with the American celebration of Thanksgiving. As I looked back at 2010 and this liturgical year, SO much to be thankful for. New job, new nephew, lots of trips like I said, grad school classes...and most importantly...I think I got my groove back ;)

I'm back in ministry, and I've had some boosts of confidence here and there...and yet I still find myself questioning God about the path He has led me on.

Today's readings for Christ the King really fit in with what I'm teaching the freshmen of late. We are talking about the Davidic covenant and how he was a man after God's own heart, though not perfect. Because God has a special relationship with David, he says that he will be a king and his descendants as well. Christ, of course, is one of these descendants and we all know that His type of reign as king is not what was expected.

I was thinking as I was sitting in Mass today (which was really a beautiful celebration. The parish I went to really did up the 'end of the year' theme right. They chose a lot of songs, too, that made me reflect on my days in youth group and music ministry as a teen. It was a good reminder of where I have been on my journey...) that if God can send a Savior so perfectly through the line of David...so many prophets predicting how He would be born and die, all of it matching up so perfectly...how can I question God's plan for me??

I'm also trying to stress to my teens that we are all a continuing part of Salvation History. Part of the covenant God made to David is that his line would never end. Some of the students questioned this...how could the line never end? Well, Jesus was a part of that line and he opened up all eternity for all of us! Done and done ;)

I remember when I went to spiritual direction around the time of Advent last year, Father called me out for being halfway through the season and not really having made any commitments to celebrate Advent. As I sat in Mass tonight, I also started thinking about how I could honor the upcoming season in a special way. As I wrote last week, I can feel this aching for reflection and for penance. I haven't been sacrificing as much as I used to. I think I was in waiting for so long- looking for a new job, and just re-grouping after my multiple 'life changes'- that I thought that was sacrifice enough and I've just been basking in the abundance of late. God certainly wants us to enjoy and rejoice, and I will continue to do so at Christmas, but I think it's time for a little penitential season-ing...time to make a little sacrifice as we all lie in wait for the Savior.

I'm going to take this week to meditate on how I can reflect more during the season and also offer up more in this season of penance as we wait for the light in the darkness.

How are you going to celebrate the new year? ;)

Happy Thanksgiving and Happy Feast of Christ the King!
Peace,
Julia

Sunday, November 14, 2010

I Gotta Feeling or Aching for Advent

One of my youth ministry colleagues tweeted this week that he could "feel Advent coming. Aching for Our Lord's return." And I thought to myself: "aha! That's what I'm feeling/missing..." His tweet made sense to me. (the power of Twitter, I tell you! Media! ;)

I've talked before about the cycle of the spiritual life and how we are often in tune with the goings on of the earth around us. We can sense the cold coming and we need the Lord to keep us on track- to be our Light in the Darkness, which is what we celebrate at Advent.

Last winter, my spiritual director led a retreat for some friends of mine and myself and it's time for us to start planning again. It feels like it is about that time. I am in need of Advent- a time of reflection. In need of a change of liturgical season to bring a challenge, bring repentance, bring me Jesus.

I remember before I left for NET and after I graduated from CUA, my friend put together a little photo album for me to take with me on the road. It had a message in it from our campus minister at the time who encouraged me to "bring 'em Jesus, Jules"- referring to the teens I'd be encountering that year and all the families I'd meet, really.

That message of "bring 'em Jesus" has been in my mind lately with teaching as I've switched from mere textbook lesson planning to really trying to bring ministry into the classroom. Last Friday, the chaplain at the school exposed the Blessed Sacrament for my two junior classes as we were wrapping up a unit on the Eucharist. I wasn't sure how the teens would react- I was pretty sure they would just talk the whole time, fidget, or fall asleep. I was surprised to find they were quiet and respectful, some of them even sung the songs with me! And after Adoration when we went back to the classroom, there seemed to be a different feel about them. A different tone to their demeanor and their interactions. I don't know why I was surprised- they had encountered Jesus- whether they realized it or not.

I've been really comfortable lately. My grad school paper is nearly done, I've gotten a handle on teaching and lesson planning, I have a good balance going between social life and taking time for other elements in my life....is it time for a change? I kind of want to hold onto fall. I love this season. And I hate winter. I hate the cold, I hate the snow. I want to hold onto the comfort of light coats and sitting outside in the sun with friends. I don't like that it is starting to get darker...

but with that darkness comes the need for the light. And I am ready for Jesus to enter into my life in a new way- to bring light to any darkness that might exist and shine light upon it.

Speaking of my time on NET, I know I've also mentioned before the Jars of Clay cd I purchased that year on the road and how it continues to be a "light" for me and in an aid in ministry.

I used this song when I was preparing teens for Confirmation at St. John's back in the day, and I recently used it in talking about the same Sacrament in my classroom recently:

Trouble Is- Jars of Clay from "Who We Are Instead"

My wings don't sail me to the sky
On my own, these wings won't fly
Jesus told me so
Still I'm not so sure that I know

Can't find no rest for my soul
Can't find no rest on my own
Jesus told me so
Still I'm not so sure that I know

Man, the trouble is
We don't know who we are instead

I keep running the other way
My heart ain't built to stay
My heart ain't built to stay
And the world just ain't that way

Man, the trouble is
We don't know who we are instead

My heart ain't built to stay
Jesus told me so

I use and continue to use this song because I think it raises that important thought that we "aren't built to stay" here. We are built for heaven. So it's a great song to use when speaking about Sacraments and just to get us thinking about the choices we make while on earth. It also reminds us that we can't do it on our own, we need Jesus and that's why He provides us with the Sacraments to give us the grace and strength we need.

Advent is also a good time to remember "Who We Are Instead". It's a penitential time to think about the ways in which we've tried to do things on our own and failed, but to have that hope of change and strength that is the Light in the darkness- Jesus.

Is it too soon to start singing, "O Come O Come, Emmanuel?!" I'm ready! Not ready for the Christmas commericals or the snow though...can't Hallmark wait 'til at least Thanksgiving to tug on my heartstrings?? ;)

Peace,
Julia

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Matters of Life and Death


Soo...I'm an aunt now.
My younger sister gave birth to Lucas John this past weekend. It's our parents' first grandchild, the first great grandchild on my mom's side, my first nephew, my first godson...
No pressure, kid. ;)
We were all super excited, of course. And everything hits much closer to home when it happens, well...at home.
Like, babies are cute and all, but I really do think he is just that much cuter 'cause he's related to me. He's got good genes, what can I say?
Lucas also came at seriously the perfect time. I wasn't sure if I was going to make it home for the birth, being a new teacher and all. I had a friend who said he would sub for me, but with Thanksgiving just a couple weeks away, I thought I would just see what happened and maybe just make my next visit the big turkey weekend.
But God had other plans. And as usual, they are perfect.
When my brother in law called me on Saturday morning at like 9:30am, I immediately said I would hop in my car and make the 6 hour drive to Ohio. By the time I got there around 4pm, my sis had just started going into her harder labor and about 5 hours after that, we had welcomed Lucas to this side of the world (the outside ;) I had plenty of time to grade papers, get some sleep, and hop back in the car the next day.


Lucas' birth also comes at a time after the school where I work at had just suffered a shocking loss.
A young, new teacher who had just graduated from college and started teaching with me died suddenly last week. He was such a nice guy and still hasn't hit me that he's gone.


On my first day of training, he was the first person I met. Since he was new too, we comiserated about lesson planning and getting to know the kids as new teachers. We often had lunch together and had just chaperoned the Homecoming dance. When I got the email that he had passed away, I didn't believe it. I still feel like I am going to see him in the hallways.


Rob's funeral was today. The place of course was packed and it was very moving. The priest did a good job of making us laugh and cry at the same time, while focusing on the joy of Rob's life and the joy of his final resting place in heaven.


I've been teaching the kids in my Sacraments class about the Eucharist. I had just taught a lesson about the Eucharist being our Heaven on Earth. I have decided to forgo the textbooks a little this Chapter, since the Eucharist is so near and dear to my heart. I want it to be special for the kids. Lessons they will remember. Anyway, we had just talked about how- next to heaven- the Eucharist is as close as we can get to complete union with God. I really challenged the kids to ask themselves if union with God is something they even desire. We all know teenagers often get wrapped up in themselves, but one of my students when I asked, 'What do you care about?' honestly answered, 'Ourselves'. That is scary!


But the experience of birth and death takes us outside of ourselves and forces us to be in community. After that funeral Mass, I wanted to be with the community of teachers and students to share our stories of Rob and just be together. I wanted to be with my family during Lucas' birth and then to share the stories with my roommates and friends after.


The Eucharist is a communal event. I am trying to teach the kids that is highly personal, but also highly communal. Getting them to have a personal relationship with God one on one and then go out and share that relationship are two extremely hard things for them. But that is why we have the grace of the Sacraments. We cannot do it on our own.


Please join me in prayers of Thanksgiving for my nephew (and soon to be godson)! And please continue to pray for Rob and the repose of his soul. It couldnt of happened at a more perfect time, though- the funeral was on the feast of All Souls and we celebrated All Saints yesterday as a community too. I know Rob is in union with the saints and angels. I pray he will greet us with Christ one day.


Peace,

Julia

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

From Babel to Baptism or Thank God for the Holy Spirit

"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own?"

Here comes that Holy Spirit guy again...

Not surprisingly, this quote from St. Paul was helpful to me in my prayer today. And also not surprisingly, it kind of ties in to what I've been teaching these days to my Freshmen and Junior (Scripture and Sacraments) students respectively.

First of all, let me just say I KNOW how annoying it is when all people seem to be able to talk about is their kids and I KNOW it seems like teachers are just as bad when talking about their students. I get it. I just can't help it, though, when all of these aspects of my life intersect. But I'm glad they do, and I believe God uses my prayer to help me teach. I just have to always be aware of what is for me, what is for them, and what can be used in both realms.

So I'm actually teaching about Abraham and his crew lately in my Scripture class. Let me just say the topics of sodomy, incest, and polygamy are not fun to teach about in general...let alone to freshmen in high school. You can imagine my pain; the looks, the comments, yeah. They are totally 15.

So today we were talking about Isaac and how he sees the beautiful Rebekah and then we do the math that Rebekah is Nahor's granddaughter, and Nahor is Abraham's brother. Isaac is Abraham's son, sooo....

Yeah. And it doesn't get better with Isaac's son Jacob. Two wives. Who are literally SISTERS. Umm...

How is this all part of our Salvation History again?

And the kids totally call me out on that. "Why does God allow incest? Polygamy? The like? And if it was okay back then, how come it's not now?"

Okay, first of all, do we really have to ask the question of why is it not okay now? And second of all, we know the all encompassing answer for "why does God allow...(fill in the blank here)" questions...right?

The standard answer is: God gives us free will. And he can use even our sinfulness to do His work through. Also, He makes all things new in Jesus.

Which brings us to the whole 'our bodies are a Temple of the Holy Spirit thing', which was an answer to a question in my Sacraments class: "What are the effects of Baptism?" ( I just went a little Jeopardy on you there. Can you handle it?! ;)


Well, we get all kinds of goodies at Baptism. Things that we often don't realize we have like: virtues, the Holy Spirit, membership into a mystical body...all that good stuff. But thank God for these gifts! The Scripture quote I started with from St. Paul reminds us that we can't do anything on our own, we need the Holy Spirit. And he dwells inside of us due to our Baptism.

Needless to say, our incesteous ancestors coulda used a little Holy Spirit and some Baptism, ya know what I'm saying? No? Okay.

Another one of my all-encompassing answers for the kids in the Old Testament class is that God makes all things NEW with Jesus. So the old ways are done away with because now Jesus is on the scene giving us new ways to follow. (THANK. GOD.)

And so it is with Baptism, our old sins are washed away, making us new in Christ. If only we would tap into those gifts of the Holy Spirit we are given...

Which is where my personal prayer took me today. I surely cannot do anything on my own. I keep remembering that (like I wrote a couple weeks ago when I was reflecting on how I would have to 'run to God' in these new adventures He's placed before me.)

I was also gearing up for this Sunday (as I have to play for a Mass and am picking songs to go with the readings), so I read this Sunday's Gospel which was PERFECT. I know we all feel at times like we are going to God with the SAME things and he must grow tired of hearing us and not want to grant our requests. This Sunday's reading reminds us that being persistant is something:

Jesus told his disciples a parable about the necessity for them to pray always without becoming weary. He said, "There was a judge in a certain townwho neither feared God nor respected any human being. And a widow in that town used to come to him and say,'Render a just decision for me against my adversary.'For a long time the judge was unwilling, but eventually he thought,'While it is true that I neither fear God nor respect any human being, because this widow keeps bothering meI shall deliver a just decision for herlest she finally come and strike me.'" The Lord said, "Pay attention to what the dishonest judge says. Will not God then secure the rights of his chosen oneswho call out to him day and night? Will he be slow to answer them? I tell you, he will see to it that justice is done for them speedily. But when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on earth?" (Luke 18:1-8)

That last question Luke leaves us with Jesus saying is something...what will Jesus find when He comes again?

Thank God for the Holy Spirit dwelling within us. Hopefully, the answer to will be that when He returns we will be taking care of our living temples and not re-enacting one of those earlier biblical scenes...

Oh, yeah, I went there. Salvation history ancestry and all....

Today in my meditation I received hope and confidence once again through the Holy Spirit, who is inside of me with all I need. And God wants to hear and answer our prayers...even if we are being annoying about it.

A pretty good deal for a people who came from...well, technically....I guess....if you think about it...

Yeah. I'd rather not think about it too much either :)

Peace,
Julia





Sunday, October 3, 2010

Keepin' the Faith

How great were the Mass readings today, huh? Not surprisingly exactly what I needed to hear, as per usual.

It's all about faith. I think we forget that sometimes, as silly as that sounds. And what is faith? Belief in things unseen. Somehow I turn my faith into trying to make God show me things. Um, I'm pretty sure that's the laziest way to go about faith ever. I'm supposed to believe without seeing...right?

The Gospel doesn't mince words today. Sassy Jesus is in full effect. The apostles are once again bugging him, asking Him for things they clearly don't know about, and Jesus silences them by saying, "look...I'm only asking you the bare minimum here. These are things you are supposed to do irregardless of reward or increasing anybody's faith. You should only need the faith of the mustard seed. I have given you all you need."

So pop off, apostles!

Just kidding. He doesn't say that.

He's sassy, but He's still the Savior which requires an unfathomable amount of patience, I'm sure.

But yeah, I think we forget sometimes that faith means believing even without the proof. Just this past week, I mentioned that I was praying a novena to St. Therese, wherein, we ask for a proof that God heard our prayer. God allows these types of requests because he knows our hearts and minds are weak and small. St. Therese herself was always declaring herself the smallest, but had immense trust in God. So if these types of prayers are needed in order for us to exercise our trust in God, I believe God uses them as such.

If you are like me, though, even when I pray these novenas, I still don't totally believe the answer all the time. I think I received my roses on Friday...I'm pretty sure...but I still had to question. Is this, then, proper faith?

As Christ said in today's Gospel, we should only need the faith of a mustard seed. I think I've mentioned before that I'm teaching Old Testament to Freshmen and Sacraments to Juniors. Both of these topics require an immense exercise in our faith to believe their truth and power. Most of the book of Genesis is stories that the ancient Hebrew writers used as literary devices to declare spiritual truths about God. Without faith, it's easy for us to think these are just stories. We try to demand proof of their historical accuracy, and this is to diminish some of their value and purpose. Likewise, our Sacraments may use tangible things like water or bread, but without faith, they are just those things- bread and water.

Getting kids to understand faith is tough! They want proof. Did Noah's flood really happen? How does Baptism wash away sin? What do you mean the Flood is a prefigurement of that Baptism?!WHA!? (and this is where I watch their heads explode. Just kidding. That doesn't happen, either :)

We can't prove these things, and even if we could, that's not the point. We rely on faith. God wants us to exercise our faith in Him.

A good reminder today, those readings were. I too often sound like Habakkuk crying out all crazy like to God. But even then He recognizes our faith and answers us, despite the crazy.

And the reading from St. Paul is just plain beautiful, but we all know I'm partial to Paul :) He essentially tells us what Christ does in the Gospel- we have all we need. We just need to tap into it and stir up the faith within us.

Stir up that faith! Get it! Keep the faith!

Keep up prayers for me and the teens I now work with...Thanks!

Until later... (which is most likely when I finish most of my research paper for grad school unfortunately...sigh.)

Peace,
Julia