Tuesday, January 27, 2009

I Know Him Whom I Believed

I know this blog has turned into a love-fest for St. Paul, but can you blame me?? It's the Pauline year! And this past Sunday was the Feast of St. Paul's Conversion. A big feast for me the past couple years, as you know.

The title of this blog post is taken from 2 Timothy 1:12 (we celebrated St. Timothy and Titus' yesterday-Paul's penpals ;)

The title also happens to be lyrics from a song that the Daughters sang (and I took to singing to myself constantly that year :) The song goes like this (Sisters, correct me if I'm wrong! :) :

I know Him Whom I Believed. I know Him Whom I Believed
And confident- I am confident
That He has been able to guard what has been entrusted to me
Until that day- entrusted to me 'til that day!

This song just popped into my head on Sunday when I was remembering and honoring Paul's conversion.

This confidence is what I - what we all- need!

After Paul's conversion, he just gave himself totally to Jesus. He just trusted in the mission Jesus had gave him and went for it! And when things got tough, he always trusted in Jesus' love.

Two books have helped me so much on my spiritual journey- He and I and I Believe in Love. I've taken to reading both again lately.

Yesterday I was reading an excerpt from "He and I" that talked about Jesus' tenderness for us and how he takes comfort from US in OUR tenderness towards Him! I just am in awe that this is even true or possible. Our God benefits from us and our tenderness?? Really?

St. Paul knew this though. I know that St. Paul had such a tender heart towards Jesus and that is why he was able to do all he did and be CONFIDENT in our Lord despite his failings and hardship.

St. Paul, while he was Saul, murdered and persecuted Christians. He was a sinner too! Sometimes we think we could never be like the saints. But if God can use and call St. Paul, certainly he can use us all! There is nothing we could be or have done that is not looked upon with mercy by Jesus.

I don't think I've ever written anything about my personal testimony or conversion on this blog. The one I used to tell on NET I am now realizing addresses this issue of knowledge of confidence in Christ.

There are many testimonies I could tell about God touching my life, but I used to tell one on the road about a retreat Junior year in college. The Gospel reading for the day was the raising of Lazarus. I remember the priest really emphasizing the verse (the shortest verse in the Gospels, I think!) "And Jesus wept" (John 11:36- I guess this does show that Jesus is moved by us!).

The priest emphasized that as Jesus wept for Lazarus, he would weep for each one of us.

It suddenly hit me in that moment, that Jesus loves me as much as Lazarus. A man he hung out with daily, and knew his sisters Mary and Martha, and ate and walked with. He loves me just as much!

The knowledge of this love is what brings about confidence in Christ.

St. Paul knew and believed this, like I said, and that is why he was able to do great things.

So do we believe that we are loved by Jesus? And do we KNOW it? Have confidence in it? Because it is true! And this knowledge can convert and change us like it did St. Paul. We may not be called to do great things, but we can have this same confidence and know we are loved!

So I offer that testimony that we too may know of God's love for each of us and have confidence in His Love.

"But I am still full of confidence because I know whom I have trusted, and I am sure that he is able to keep safe until that Day what He has entrusted to me" (2 Timothy 1:12)

That confidence! That assuredness! It's like music to my ears :)

St. Paul, pray for us!


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