Friday, August 11, 2017

Re-Choosing, Re-Discerning, Re-Building

Today is the feast of one of my favorite saints, St. Clare of Assisi. When I was discerning religious life over a decade (gah!) ago, I spent a lot of time with a particular order of Franciscans and came to love St. Francis and St. Clare.

When I was in Assisi two summers ago, we went to Sunday Mass at the Basilica of St. Clare. This was such a blessing and my time in Assisi was also significant because I was at a crossroads concerning my career and making my move to Richmond.

Basilica of St. Clare in Assisi, Italy- June 2015

After Mass at St. Clare's, I got some time to explore Assisi on my own and had some quality prayer time in some significant places in the life of Francis. When praying in the basilica where St. Francis is buried, I pondered the message that St. Francis himself had received: "Rebuild my Church." I found in those moments of prayer my own answer to my current discernment, to "rebuild His Church" by taking a job in Richmond teaching Middle Schoolers. It was a perfect moment and I have been affirmed again and again that I am in the right place for me right now.

This summer, I have been praying about feeling TOO comfortable. I never want to feel too comfortable with something because that is when we stop growing and moving forward. I want to re-claim the choices and decisions that God has led me to make up until this point in my life, so that I can re-affirm and move forward. I don't want to become so comfortable in my ministry as a Middle School teacher that I stop seeing it as a ministry. So these past couple of weeks, before we return back to school, I have been pondering my past years in ministry, and re-choosing, re-committing myself as a minister through the work God has called me to do.

This month, this year (Aug 22 to be exact) will mark 10 years since I entered religious life. It will always be such a defining moment in my life, even though I didn't stay very long in community (just one year of postulancy). The choices and the moments that led up to that entrance 10 years ago were crucial as was my personal formation during that time. And ultimately, taking classes while in formation led me to want to pursue my Masters degree and further shaped my call to evangelize through media and education.

There have been times where I questioned some of my decisions, but I firmly believe that all of our decisions, whether right or wrong, shape who are today. And as I look back on the 10-15 years that I have been in ministry (NET Ministries post-college, diocesan youth ministry, postulancy, non-profit work, and now teaching) I know that all of my experiences have built upon each other, leading to where I am now.

I am not sure what the Lord wants me to build next or what the next building block will be. But I am confident that it will be right as long as I remain open to asking and responding wherever and whenever He says: "rebuild my Church." As for right now, I will be content and confident in re-committing to building where He has placed me, but listening for the call for that next piece, that next brick.

I also have to remind myself, that each little thing that we do can help build up the Church as well. It doesn't have to be some huge, life-changing building block. We are all a piece of the Church and make our mark in our own, many ways.

St. Francis and St. Clare, pray for us!


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