St. Paul and the Single Ladies

Even some 4-5 years later, St. Paul still has my back.

Now, I don't want to talk about the fact that it was almost 5 YEARS AGO now that I took a leap of faith and entered religious life. Nope. I don't want to talk about that. Five years just does  not seem accurate so I just can't be bothered by that fact.

However, one of the girls I entered postulancy with did make her first vows this weekend. So I suppose the numbers don't exactly lie...

Shoot. That's kind of a lot to think about. I could have been wearing a veil right about now. And not like the ones on "Say Yes to the Dress." But how did I celebrate yesterday as my co-postulant friend was receiving her habit and vowing to religious life?

Um, I was at one of the bars that was very significant during my time of discernment 5 years ago. Naturally.

This is one of the items which I just noticed yesterday when at this illustrious establishment. This is my kind of home decor. WANT. 


Yup. About 4.5 years ago, my friends were sending me off with a "bachelorette party" at this bar and now, 4.5 years later, I was back, talking with one of my single friends about my decision to enter. And leave. Like it was just yesterday.

I just want to say my past 2 weekends have been great because they have been filled with quality time with some of my favorite single ladies. Last weekend, I drank some wine and played an epic game of trivia pursuit with a co-worker and then hung out at a bar listening to a 90s cover band with one of my favorite uber-Catholic YM friends. This weekend, different names, but kind of the same: lunch with an uber-Catholic single gal like myself and then shopping/dinner/drinks with another co-worker. All single ladies. All fabulous gifts to me right now in my life!

So my coworker last night was asking me over beer (and next to this amazing table piece above!) about why   I decided to enter religious life in the first place. I still kind of can't believe that 4-5 years later I'm still talking about and processing this, but I guess it's going to be a fact that I discuss the rest of my life since it was a significant decision in my life.

I articulated to her for the first time in a long while that I had done it because I want to give of myself in a special way. Of course, there was more than that and there are many ways to do that type of giving without signing up for an order. But it was good to hear myself say it again and remind myself that I still want to give of myself for God in a special way.

And I believe I am doing that now with the single vocation and the way I am living my life through teaching and trying to be as holy as I can be (while still drinking at bars now and again ;)

St. Paul gave me an extra boost years ago when I was discerning and he gave me more insight today with this second reading at Mass:

Brothers and sisters:
I should like you to be free of anxieties.
An unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord,
how he may please the Lord.
But a married man is anxious about the things of the world,
how he may please his wife, and he is divided.
An unmarried woman or a virgin is anxious about the things of the Lord,
so that she may be holy in both body and spirit.
A married woman, on the other hand,
is anxious about the things of the world,
how she may please her husband. 
I am telling you this for your own benefit,
not to impose a restraint upon you,
but for the sake of propriety
and adherence to the Lord without distraction.

This reading definitely affirms me in my focus on "things of the Lord" in  my singleness. As I think I mentioned before, our society today says that the advantage (if there is an advantage at all) to being single is getting to do all the UN-holy things. But here, St. Paul seems to say almost the opposite. We get to focus solely on our relationship with God and making ourselves holy while married people can become distracted. 

Now, of course I know MANY holy married people with families and they give me hope for the Sacrament of Marriage and that if I am called to that vocation, the beauty and grace that can be given in that call. But I like thinking of the advantages I have as a single person since society doesn't always seem to think there is one.

In the midst of my bar-evangelization conversation with my co-worker (my favorite kind of evangelization :) and the telling of my religious discernment story, she looked at me and said: "I just got a flash of what a good mom you would be. I think you are going to be a mom." To which I said:

HAHAHAHAHAHA...KIDS. HAHAHAHA...oh.

For now, I just want to focus on living this vocation that God has placed me in with the focus that St. Paul says it requires. Thanks, St. Paul!

And many prayers for Sr. Emily Beata on her first profession :)

Peace,

Julia

Blogger's Block?

I am definitely having writer's block of late. This year has been off to a pretty good start, but much like 2011, this first month has flown by!

It was easy to be reflective over Christmas break because I had TIME. Once school kicks in, it's full steam ahead, and we're there. I've had to make a pact with God that when I go to my prayer time (when I take it- yikes!) that I will just be attentive to Him and ME. Using our prayer time for others is great and important, but I get so easily wrapped up in thoughts of school that it has begun to consume my life and my prayer- NOT COOL!

Hard to believe, but we start the second semester at the school tomorrow. I'm excited to see some of the sophomores I haven't seen yet this year and to meet my new freshmen. I had a really good semester this year, and I pray that this second year, second semester of teaching gets even better.

SEE!? I'm doing it AGAIN. ENOUGH SCHOOL TALK.

...except...one more thing. And this thing's okay 'cause it's about grad school and I'm doing that for MYSELF, right? Right.

I'm taking another Scripture course this semester and it's with a priest who is- no joke- 90. YEARS. OLD. He was there when I was in undergrad, which should come as no surprise because he's been there since like the 1950s...

A few months ago I was having coffee with two dear friends and we were talking about the "trifecta of adorable" and realized that each of us was partial to one of the three. The trifecta being: small animals (dogs in particular for my one friend), babies (naturally), and the elderly. We all know that my heart (and ovaries) only burst for babies on minimal occasions, and I almost take a little bit too much pleasure in reminding my students that animals were created inferior to man. But old people...damn if they don't make my heart of ice and stone melt.

So the ancient priest is adorable. And smart! Many of you are familiar with my 89 year old quick-witted grandmother who doesn't act a day over 70. This priest falls into similar territory, God love 'em.

Here's a pic of Babci in 2009 with my cousin, doing jello shots the morning AFTER my sister's wedding. Yeah. That's how we do. I may or may not have still been my bridesmaid's dress...it happens...

I've been taking my reflections of my Scripture studies with Father Nonagenarian a little to prayer...do you think that's breaking my no-school-during-prayer-time rule?! It's just good stuff!

So I said I had writer's block and now I'm talking about all of the things without even mentioning how awesome retreat was!

I think I'm postponing writing about it because it was so great and there's still alot for me to unpack. But I also think if I continue to postpone, I may never write about it, so here's the breakdown:

My spiritual director led another awesome retreat. That is all.

.....






......



Just kidding! There were about 15 of us again this year and it's always an amazing group and I'm always in awe of what amazing people God has placed in my life.

This is why I'm confident He will continue to place the right people in my life at the right time.

The theme I originally wasn't crazy about when he told me what it was, but I KNEW he would rock it and God would rock it and we'd be all about it the minute we got there.

The group and my old roomies- reunited!


The theme was The Magi and Father broke it down into three talks or themes more or less: The Search, The Encounter, and then the Transformation.

The first talk was discussing the difference between Herod's search for Christ and the Magi's. The Magi didn't know exactly what they were searching for or what they would find. Herod did his research (or had others do it for him) but his motives were impure. The Magi were much more open. Father challenged us to ask ourselves: are we still searching for Christ? And if so, are we searching openly or selfishly?

For the Encounter piece, we talked about the gifts that the Magi brought and each of there significance. The gold was fit for a king and a sign of beauty. Frankincense is a pleasant oil used for worship and the sacrifices of a priest (meant to cover the nasty smell of animal sacrifices back in the day- yuck!)

Father had broken us up into small groups to discuss the gifts and my group got the last gift- myrrh. Another oil, but not as pleasant. It came from kind of a broken looking, nasty, gnarly tree and was used for embalming dead bodies. Fun! What a gift for a king, right? We looked at the symbolism of it and were asked to reflect on how we could offer such a gift.

I thought it interesting that the others in my group were the other single people and my friend G who has been struggling with infertility. Our plights were different from my other friends who were all engaged or married in the other groups. I thought the symbol of myrrh- a strange, different kind of gift- was fitting for the unconventional sacrifices that my small group itself has to offer- our "strange", unconventional struggles of singleness and infertility in a world that expects marriage and babies at this time in our lives.

Father also encouraged us to think about places we search for and encounter Jesus. The Retreat Center where we were is a place where I often encounter God. My friends from CUA and I love going there because it has had so many peaceful, joyful memories involving God and our friendships.

Lastly, Father asked us- how are we going to leave transformed? The Magi departed The Holy Family by a different way than which they came. Were we going to do the same? How?

The retreat overall brought me much joy, but like I said, I'm still unpacking certain pieces. But I"m so grateful, and as always, I can think of no better way to start a new year!

Well, off to....I was GOING to say, starting a new semester, but I'm trying to cut the school-ties so to speak, so I will tell you what I'm ACTUALLY going to be doing right now and that is this:

Watch the Bachelor! haha!

A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do...don't judge. (Though I will be judging ALL of the contestants on this show but that's because they are CRAZY :).

Peace,
Julia

"Twenty-Twelve" has a nice ring to it...

As previously mentioned my roommates from the past 3 or so years and I used to come up with themes to live for each new year.

Before I started living with them, they had still roomed with each other and I believe some of their themes were something like: "the year of high expectations." The years of  "low expectations" and eventually, "no expectations" soon followed...

2009, though, was the year of "positive realism" for us. I had one roommate who would have high hopes all of the time, but maybe not always achievable, realistic goals. I consider myself a realist, so we melded our two mottoes together.

I believe 2010 had something to do with hope, and 2011 I can't recall...I can't seem to recall much of 2011, actually, not because I was in a drug haze or drunk stupor, but just because it went SO FAST!

I texted my old roommates and asked if this year- 2012- could be the year of "wanton bliss." Heh. I was half kidding. I just always try to be so grounded and realistic and the saying goes that "ignorance is bliss." Sometimes, I don't want to analyze stuff (yes I do) and throwing practicality aside to be "ignorantly blissful" sounds fun (I would never want to be ignorant.)

So maybe "wanton, unabashed bliss" is not the best theme for me...but I will keep it in mind! I am toying around a theme with "joy" and I also have been struck lately by the virtues. So perhaps "virtuous joy" will be a theme. I will try to focus on virtue that is being produced in me, rather than suffering or the struggles. And I will try to be joyful and not jealous or envious.

Other new year's resolutions for 2012:

- cook more (gasp!)
- drink less  (I just realized that drinking is what alot of us singles go-to as the thing we "get to do" since we are single. Ie: "oh, you're pregnant? HA. I get to DRINK." "oh, you're getting married? I'll be at the BAR." I don't like that this as our default, so Imma keep that in mind this year)

-like I said before, look at the virtue in things, rather than the struggle
- and try to be more joyful for myself and others

When I was home for Christmas, I went to one of my favorite chapels to pray. It overlooks Lake Erie and has Perpetual Adoration- two of my favorite things: nature and Jesus!

I particularly liked the saying that was underneath the tabernacle embroidered on one of the linens:

It says: "He has come as He has promised- Let us rejoice and share His Love with all the earth." - Love it!

 Sometimes I'll go and sit outside and overlook the lake...um, not this time...

 outside the chapel :)

 check out the waves blowing up on the lot! pretty sure that's how the tree got like this:

Happy 2012, everybody! May it be a year of much virtue and joy for all of us (and maybe a little bliss for good measure ;)

Peace,
Julia

Is This Normal?! (Julia's Wedding Stats)

So, claiming that 2012 will be one of the biggest wedding years for me since 2005 seems like a rather big claim, knowing my history of weddings...

But how well do we really know my history of weddings, folks? And is it normal? I could have been bitching for years and perhaps my attendance at weddings over my 30 years of life is entirely normal.

Because I seem to always be going to or talking about weddings in my life, people have started to ask me: "Well, how many have you been to? Invited to?" I never had answers. Until now.

The following are my "wedding stats" to the best of my knowledge. If you don't care in any way about this random aspect of my life, feel free to stop reading.

If you care to find out if I am "normal" or "freakish" in any way...read on!

I have divided most by year, the number of weddings I was invited to, the number I actually attended, and included my roles in any of those weddings in parenthesis. You're welcome.

Julia's Weddings Stats:

Weddings attended Prior to 2003 (before graduation of college): 7
(cousins, aunt, family friend, respectively)
RSVP "no" (that I'm aware of...parents took care of most of these things at this time of my life): 1

2003: 4 wedding invitations, 2 attended (1 as Maid of Honor)

2004: 1 invitation, 1 attended (as bridesmaid)

2005: 7 invitations, 4 attended, (1 as bridesmaid, 1 as Eucharistic Minister)

2006: 3 invitations, 3 attended (1 as Maid of Honor, 1 as musician, 1 I gave the "blessing" at the reception, and 1 as a "flower maiden"...yup. I had to wear a dress, so I count this as a "bridesmaid" duty)

2007: 3 invitations, 3 attended (2 as musician, 1 gave "blessing" at reception)

2008: 6 invitations, 3 attended (1 as "lector")

2009: 7 invitations, 4 attended (1 as Maid of Honor, another as a bridesmaid)

2010: 2 invitations, 2 attended

2011: 3 invitations, 2 attended (1 as musician)

So, if you are keeping track...that's at least 44 weddings in my 30 years of life that I have been invited to (that I remembered and was able to write down),  31 I've attended (1 for each year of my life so far, I suppose), and 13 I've said "no" to. Is that normal?? I really want to know!

Additional stats:
7 bridesmaid dresses
3 times as maid of honor
4 times as musician
2 times giving a blessing
1 as a lector
1 as a Eucharistic Minister

So that's about 14 out of 30 attended that I was actually involved with in some way ( I double-dutied at one)...again...normal?!

2012 brings about approximately 8 more potential weddings for me, bringing my tally of invitations up to 52 by age 31....is that normal?!?

I need to know people! Comments welcome...

I'm sorry if this post was entirely sad and pathetic. Happy New Year! Themes for the New Year coming next...

Comfort and Joy on the Feast of Stephen

**post written the day after Christmas, Dec. 26, 2011**

NAME THOSE CHRISTMAS CAROLS!

What are the songs that the title(s) of this post are from? Go ahead, I'll wait...

I  just want to start this post by saying I DOMINATED at the Christmas carol portion of “Holiday Trivia” which I played with the Strukely side of the family last night. (God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen and Good King Wenceslaus, ftw, btw!)

We are HUGE nerds, I know. We also thoroughly enjoy our annual Christmas carol sing a long which usually lasts for- no joke- 2 hours.

My aunts also have founded a new key- the Key of M. M stands for Manhattans. Our drink of choice. It could also stand for "Merry", because it makes our Christmas much more that...

So Merry Christmas, y’all! Yes, I know that Christmas Day has past, but the Christmas SEASON has just begun, folks! Rumor has it that the Pope doesn’t take his Christmas décor down until the Presentation of Our Lord- February 2nd! Take that, Martha Stewart!

My pre-Christmas/Christmas celebrations were very Merry, though, there is always some element of stress from somewhere.- some kind of drama that the devil loves to throw in just because there’s all this love and joy floating around.

I had to remind myself a couple times these last days that Jesus has conquered that whole mess. That’s why we are celebrating!

Some of the other things that have been giving me comfort: this new book that I received from my Secret Santa at work (which I had really wanted since I saw this clip of Fr. James Martin on the Colbert Report) “Between Heaven and Mirth”: Why Joy, Humor, and Laughter are a the Heart of the Spiritual Life”.

I’m only a couple chapters in, but Father makes such good points about how we don’t focus enough on joy in the spiritual life. But it is really what connects us most to God. Suffering can bring us closer to him, since in those moments we open ourselves up to God many times, but if our faith life is just about suffering- it won’t last. We hold onto our faith because of the JOY we experience at certain points of our life. And Christmas is one of the feasts, I think, which we most receive and remember that joy.

Today is also the Feast of St. Stephen Martyr, so I read some of Acts where Stephen is mentioned. The apostles in Acts amaze me. They are SO full of the Holy Spirit! So fearless! They are being terribly persecuted- I mean, Stephen is stoned to death- and yet, they are at peace and perseverant.

Before the break, I was teaching my students about these very things- suffering and virtue. We do so focus on the suffering- myself included- when really should be focused on achieving the virtue it can produce. Reading the Acts of the Apostles today motivated me in this. There is no doubt (since they had just witnessed the Pentecost!) that they were on fire with the gifts of the spirit: Wisdom, Knowledge, Understanding, Fortitude, Counsel, Piety, and Fear of the Lord. It is so evident in their preaching and actions.

We received these gifts at our Baptism and have them stirred up for us at Confirmation. I remind my students that we have these Gifts inside of us, we just need to use them! And JOY is one of the fruits of the Spirit- also given to us at Baptism.

2012 is fast becoming another year of the wedding for me. As we know, I already have quite a few weddings under my belt (and dresses in my closet). Weddings can and should bring much joy.  But for a single girl who has been on the non-stop train from Weddingville since 2003*, it can also bring a little suffering.  I am praying for an increase of the Gifts and Fruits of the Holy Spirit in a special way on this Feast of Stephen to carry me through whatever 2012 might bring!

 I’m holding onto Hope, people. Hope and Joy- a theological virtue and fruit of the Spirit- and what most unites us to Christ, especially at Christmas.

Each year, my previous roommates and I would come up with a "theme" for the new year. I haven't quite formulated it yet, but I think 2012's theme will have something to do with "Joy".**

I will leave you with another fun-filled moment from Christmas 2011 that I feel best reflects why I am the way I am.

In addition to Christmas trivia and Christmas carols, my family also got into a heated debate about mortal sin. Who does this? My family.

Luckily, I had 5 priests listed in my phone to settle the score. Who am I? Right. The religious girl who loves pop culture and karaoke. It was refreshing to remember where I get it from.

Merry Christmas!
Peace,
Julia

* I intend to write a post in which I prove this claim...stay tuned!

** I also intend to write a post in which I document these themes and my proposed theme for 2012...I know you will look forward to that! Huzzah!

The Birthday of a King

Before the craziness of Christmas really kicks in, I thought I'd write my little reflection on Christmas (does it make it less credible if Christmas hasn't happened yet? Maybe.)

We are finished with school for the next TWO WEEKS! Huzzah! I won't be going back to school until the NEW YEAR. Kind of hard to believe.

And today I had time to do all of the things! Gym, Prayer, and FINISH MY CHRISTMAS SHOPPING! I WIN!!! (as if it were a competition. It kind of was. With myself. I didn't think I could do it, but I did! I got satisfactory gifts for everyone on my list! WIN!)

Of course, I want to share with you the prayer part of this day :)

I went into my prayer time because I felt a nudging to go and I fully intended to go in and complain to Jesus about all the things I WANT for Christmas/New Year.

Wouldn't you know it- in typical Jesus fashion- He had me change my way of thinking so I left there feeling grateful for everything I already have. How Christ-masy of Him! It seriously was like a Christmas special. (no it wasn't.)

Today is Tuesday, so I was praying the Sorrowful Mysteries even though it is Christmas time. It's not the Christmas season YET exactly, if you want to get technical (and I do because I am the liturgy police. Not really. Well, kind of...) Advent is a Penitential season, so I figured the Sorrowful Mysteries were still appropriate.  I was praying the third mystery (Crowing of Thorns) and thought about how Jesus was born to be a King.

THEN that made me think of THIS Song which was on our "Wee Sing Christmas Carols" tape that I made my parents play relentlessly each Christmas for probably every year until I was 18:
(the link is to the Judy Garland version. You're welcome):

In the little village of Bethlehem
There lay a child one day
And the sky was bright
With a holy light
O'er the place where Jesus lay.


Alleluia
O how the angels sang!
Alleluia
How it rang!
And the sky was bright
With a holy light
'Twas the birthday of a King.


Humble birthplace but oh how much God gave to us that day!
From the manger bed what a path has led
What a perfect holy way.


Looking at the Old Testament and Salvation History really does give a different perspective on Christmas. You hear about David and how he was not of "stately appearance" yet chosen to be King. Isaiah prophesies similar things about Jesus and you see how perfectly the Old and the New match up. It's kind of unbelievable...yet...what helps us believe. Both kings, both not what anyone expected. One, the youngest son (instead of the entitled oldest) and a shepherd/hippy musician/songwriter at that. The other, our SPIRITUAL shepherd, born of a carpenter in the city of David...not in some palace.

And what do kings have? Their heralds! In this case- angels. I also really love Luke's Gospel account of Christmas (not just because it's the one read in A Charlie Brown Christmas) but because Luke was writing for Gentiles and used the characters of shepherds to convey how the King is truly for everyone. The angels went to SHEPHERDS to represent the everyman...and also probably to show how this image of shepherd to king, king to shepherd has come full circle.

So even though my last post was about Treating YoSelf, the true Spirit of Christmas is about the sacrifice of God's only Son for us- who was a different kind of King. He would have to endure all kinds of trials, just to complete his mission- salvation for us all.

And that's what Christmas is all about...Charlie Brown.

Treat YoSelf 2011 or Advent 2.0

I'm feeling very much like I did when I wrote this post on fall a couple months ago.

I have done ALL of the Advent/Christmas things this week!

And true-to-form, this post will be updatey/reflection-y as such.

It all began with the Cookie Exchange of aught 11 that I already gave you a glimpse into last week. The Milky Way bars were a success- if not at the party, but definitely with my roommates this week (as they helped me eat ALL of the leftovers. So. Many. Cookies! This is a week where it is good to live with four other women ;)

We drank mulled wine, played the Pandora Christmas station...it was Christmas-y.

But it's not Christmas yet! We know this! Gaudate Sunday came and I went to a parish where my friend who was ordained this summer is parochial vicor. He wasn't the priest saying Mass- and a good thing- 'cause I was appalled to see that the man WASN'T WEARING PINK! (or "rose" as they insist on calling it. It's pink. OWN IT.)

What do priests have against pink!? Humph.

Meanwhile, back at school- the students had exams for the latter half of the week. The first half I was finishing up chapters but felt the need to introduce Isaiah- since it IS Advent- in my Scripture class.

I love me some Isaiah. I mean...the dude (or whoever ended up writing his works for him) was so dead. on!

"Behold! A virgin shall conceive, and bear a Son, and shall call His name Emmanuel; God with us"

This idea of "Emmanuel- God with Us" has been kind of a thing for me this Advent as I am reflect on the person of Jesus in the Sacred Heart. And I've also used the song by Sarah Hart- "God with Us"- twice at school litrugies :) I can't get enough! (scroll down on the link to find the mp3)

I also happened to go to Handel's "Messiah" with one of my roommates last night. I've gone a time or two before (my dad is a singer and often sings it. Not QUITE as often as my sister dances in the Nutcracker...omg I've seen that show so many times done every. way. imaginable....)

But I don't think I really appreciated Handel's piece as much as I did after having a) just taught Isaiah and 2.) my Paschal Mystery course

Dude (Handel) took the whole text straight from Scripture, yo! And in a world where we are soooo against talking about our faith and being "politically correct" it's just kind of cool to have everyone stand during the "Hallejuah" chorus- even if they don't know what they are doing- but really honoring the Resurrection and the sacred in that moment.

I told my roommate I'm totally going to make photocopies of the text from my program and make my students identify which book in the Bible which line came from! Yessssssssssss......

Fun Times!

So Isaiah has been my dude this week, as well as Handel. O Antiphons (which we know are my fav!) start today!

I know when the O Antiphons start 'cause it's also my sister's birthday- not just because I am a huge liturgy nerd. My sis is steadily catching up to me and the "dirty, flirty thirty!" One more year!


Happy 29th bday, J!

So let's see: Cookies, Gaudate Sunday, Isaiah, Messiah, O Antiphons...what else...

Oh, yeah. It's Treat YoSelf 2011!


I had a pedicure this week ("Treatyoself")
Happy Hour with a friend ("Treatyoself")
Went to the Kennedy Center ("Treatyoself")

And now imma bout to go OUTLET SHOPPING ("Treatyoself")

It's the best day of the year ("Best day of the year!")

Happy last week of Advent!
Peace,
Julia