Lent and Good Friday 2021

Happy 2021?! In many ways, we have still been living as we did in 2020, but as Spring has begun, we have the hope of new life. I received my two vaccines in Jan. and Feb. so am fully vaccinated and ready to have a little more normalcy while still fully knowing that we are not yet out of this pandemic. 

January and February were hard. We were still locked in our houses and the pandemic was in full force after people had traveled for the holidays. Since I have been teaching in person since August, we had a lot of students go remote in January and a lot of teachers were out due to exposure to the virus. We haven't been able to bring in subs this year because of Covid so I had to sub for a lot of classes during my planning time. And we had a very, very cold February with lots of snow and ice. Winter is hard for me anyways, but add to that teaching in a pandemic, not having much social interaction due to Covid, and just the acknowledgment that we still were dealing with this virus a year later, plus all of the division in our country, I was very, very grateful for that vaccine that could provide some light at the end of this tunnel. 

I have been keeping myself busy with a lot of projects that I started in 2020. You can keep up with the podcasts and blogs and things here. 

Along with the vaccine, March and Spring have brought back that hope that I was meditating on back in Advent. Warmer weather and being vaccinated mean that I can leave my house and hang out outside with friends. The governor finally expanded indoor gatherings to 50 people instead of 10! It feels so good to get some life back and start planning events and travel- still not fully the way we were before the pandemic, of course- but it is something. 

It is also Holy Week- Good Friday to be exact. Last year's Holy Week was exceptionally sad for me. To have to watch some of my favorite services of the year online by myself and not travel during the Easter break was so hard. Yesterday, I got to go to Holy Thursday Mass in person. It's one of my favorite services of the year. There was no washing of the feet due to Covid procedures still in place, and still no congregational singing, but there was beauty in its minimalism and simplicity. 

Just to be with my parish in person celebrating one of my favorite Masses of the year was enough. One of my favorite parts of the Holy Thursday liturgy is the praying in silence with the Eucharist after Mass. We remember Christ going to the garden to pray and we have the opportunity to sit there with Him. I always meditate on His loneliness- how He must've felt when His apostles couldn't stay awake to pray with Him- and how He must've felt alone in what He was about to do. In many ways, we can identify with that loneliness, especially in this year that we have just had. But His loneliness in the garden is not the end.

I've been using this book to pray throughout Lent and the men and women who are written about in it have all inspired me with their bravery.

We have had to be brave in many ways this past year. We have had to reach outside of ourselves and try things in new ways because of the pandemic. Today as I pray on Good Friday, I usually find my prayer a continuation of Holy Thursday- uniting with Christ's loneliness and mourning in sorrow. Today, however, I am inspired by the men and women I have journeyed with this Lent in prayer and Christ bravely carrying His cross. 

This Lent has been different. We got to be a little more gentle with ourselves because this whole year has been like Lent in many ways. We have sacrificed a lot this year. Now is not the time to surrender, though, but rather to pick up the cross and bravely carry it all the way to Calvary with Jesus. 

I am empowered by His act of love today. I pray that we can all recognize our bravery from this past year and carry it with us into Easter and the rest of 2021. 

Peace,

Julia

Joy in 2020: Gaudate Sunday

It's the 3rd Sunday of Advent. We've made it halfway through Advent and almost all of 2020. The pink (or rose as it's technically called) candle that we light on the Advent wreath this week reminds us of this and reminds us that we are to rejoice. 

Rejoice? In 2020? How do we find joy even in this year? 

I may submit to you that this year is the year that we have had to learn how to cultivate joy the most. Let me explain. 

Joy is more than happiness. Happiness is a temporary emotion. Joy is something that is underlying and greater. We can be joyful people but not always necessarily happy. This year has certainly not been a happy one. We have seen pain and suffering due to this virus and also the pain and suffering that has existed in our country for centuries due to hatred and racism. 

So where is the joy? We each have different things that bring us joy and I still think that this year is the year we have had to search for those things in new and real ways. We have had to give up those temporal things that give us happiness- like celebrating in large groups or going to a concert- and look for what will sustain us for much longer than those temporary things. 

Now, certainly, we can find joy in groups and in music and maybe some of the things that we've had to give up, but we've had to focus on the things this year that truly matter, and this is how we cultivate joy. 

In my adult life, I've grown to make going to confession a habit as much as I can. I try to go pretty frequently. When I was at CUA, it was so easy to run into the Basilica on campus, that I almost started to take the sacrament for granted. Now, I try to go on Saturdays, but sometimes Saturdays are the days I am running around doing errands, so I really have to schedule it in. 

Since it is Advent and Advent and Lent are the liturgical seasons we focus on repentance, I scheduled some time in to go to confession yesterday. I went to a parish and priest that I had never been to before just to kind of get my out of my comfort zone or routine. When it came time to give me my penance, the priest gave me something that in all of my 30+ years of going to confession I don't think that I have heard before. He told me to "Praise the Lord" as my penance. 

And it occurred to me- isn't this what those who were healed by Christ did in the Scriptures? After He had healed them, didn't they go forth rejoicing? It makes so much sense and I couldn't believe that I have never been given this penance before. Why should we go away still lamenting our sin when He has given us His forgiveness? This was the perfect penance for this week focusing on Joy as well. 

When we think of Jesus, do we think of joy? Perhaps we think of Him as a pretty serious guy, but he would have rejoiced with those that he healed. He would've celebrated things with his apostles and friends. He would've enjoyed spending time with His Holy Family. 

On this Gaudate Sunday in 2020, it's a great time to think about what brings us true joy and what brought Christ joy as well. Do we count ourselves as a source of joy for Him and others? 

Today is a great day to meditate on joy and to go forth praising the Lord for all that we do have in our life. Even in a year when we have had to deny ourselves much, there is still joy. We may have had to see it and experience it differently this year, but even in 2020, joy is still there below the surface. 

Yesterday was also the feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe. I played for Mass that has a large Hispanic population and I loved seeing all the flowers and roses amid the rose candle yesterday. 

Here's to being a little closer to Christmas, a little closer to the end of this year, and finding joy even in the darkness. 

Peace,

Julia

Advent 2020: Wait for It

2020 has been about many things and many of those things have been dark and serious. I don't want to make light OF the darkness that we have had to face and are still facing, but during this time of Advent, we are to start thinking of light IN the darkness; to think about some of the more positive things in our lives and wait with joyful and grateful hearts. This can certainly be difficult in this time. I am currently re-reading Pope Francis' "Evangelii Gaudium"  which he wrote back when he began his papacy in 2013. To read it now in this darkness of 2020 is a little jarring, but also a good reminder that darkness will not last forever. 

To jump to something much more trivial but still joyful for me, Hamilton appearing on Disney Plus was one of the brighter lights this year. I had been familiar with and listened to the soundtrack, but had never seen the production. Since it has aired in July of this year, I've probably watched it at least thirty times and I'm not exaggerating. Not having many places to go this year certainly has contributed to the amount of times I have watched it, plus, we do have to find joy in the smallest things these days.

I was recently trying to name my top five songs from the show and the song "Wait for It" is on that list. It's a song where we get a glimpse into the differences between Hamilton and his friend-turned-enemy, Aaron Burr. While Hamilton is "young, scrappy and hungry" (to quote the song "My Shot") and works "Non-Stop" (the song that ends Act One), Burr sings that he is willing to wait for the things that are to come to him. 

I have always found myself somewhere in the middle of these methods of achievement. I certainly am like Hamilton in his go-getter spirit. If there is something that I want, I will work to obtain that thing as quickly as I can. However, in life, we know that don't get everything that we want. So there are naturally somethings that we have to wait for. 

Advent, as we know, is a time of waiting. And I don't know about you, but usually Advent sneaks up on me and then is over before I even realize it. This year, because of the pandemic, hopefully our preparation for Christmas isn't filled with as much busy-ness. We are hopefully avoiding stores, avoiding gatherings, which means less hustle and bustle. I know that I already feel like my first week of Advent has been much more focused and centered than in the past, and therefore more felt. 

It helps that- to borrow a line from Burr- we are "lying in wait". We have been waiting all year for a vaccine and for our lives to return to what they were before March. We are waiting for a time when we can gather and see friends and relatives as we once did. Maybe we've even gotten a little better at waiting? I have never been a patient person. Ever. However, throughout my life, I have gotten a little better at making the most of the times that I've had to wait for something. I've gotten better at shifting focus and being grateful for the things that I have instead of the things that I am still waiting for. 

I think that this time of 2020 has been just that. Hopefully, we are looking at the things that we are grateful for instead of the things that we don't have right now. Where Aaron Burr is certainly painted in a light that makes him look foolish for waiting in the show of Hamilton, I empathize with him. As Ecclesiastes says, there is a time for everything. And right now is the time to wait- both liturgically and literally- as we wait for a vaccine. 

So how are we going to use this time of waiting? I've decided for Advent to not look at my phone first thing in the morning and "wait" to use social media until after I've prayed. It's been a little challenging, but ultimately I've done it successfully and it's been productive. I've been using some prayer devotionals that use Scripture and poetry to remind me of times where God has made things new. 

We are in a new liturgical year since Advent has begun. Things may not feel very new right now since we've been in this holding pattern since March. It's been a nice reminder to read from Scripture that God's people have had to wait throughout Salvation History, but God has always been faithful when it was time for something new to begin. For example: Noah and the new life after the Flood, the Israelites and the new life in the Promised Land after 40 years in the wilderness, Simeon in the scene of the presentation where his eyes have "finally seen the salvation" of the Messiah in Jesus, just to name a few. The whole of Salvation History is waiting- from the beginning of the creation stories until we meet our God and hopefully remain with Him in heaven.  

However we are preparing for Christmas this year, I hope that we are relying on gratitude and God's faithfulness to get us through. He always provides in His time, we just have to "Wait For It". 

Happy Advent!

Peace,

Julia

Christ the King 2020 Edition

This weekend is the feast of Christ the King AKA the last week of the liturgical year. 

We somehow made it through 2020, y'all. 

As has become custom for me at this time of year, I like to do an annual round up of my year and we all know that 2020 was a doozey. 

But in many ways, this year was one of my most full and productive, surprisingly. Just like the years about a decade ago that I thought would be terrible because of the endless weddings or vocation woes or jobs that I just tolerated, God brought joy and goodness from those periods of suffering. This year's suffering has been on a much larger scale, of course, but I have seen goodness and change flourish and emerge, despite the hardships. 

To be a Scripture nerd for a second, during the time of the Babylonian Exile- a period where the Jews were being invaded and captured by Babylon which was a time of great turmoil for the Jews- they produced some of their most beautiful poetry and psalms and grew closer to their Jewish faith and their God. It is recorded in the Wisdom and Prophetic sections of the Old Testament. 

While this year of 2020 will go down as one of the strangest in our history, it also produced many movements and work that will hopefully carry through to make change in this decade to come. 

Here are some of my highlights:

We started the year so optimistically...roaring 20s indeed!

January and February were "normal" with trips to VA beach and Texas with friends. 

The last flight I took  the weekend that the world shut down. Clearly, there was no one on it. 

Week 1 of remote learning and not the last.

Attending Palm Sunday (and all Masses from March-June) from home.

Birthday 2020...and pretty much how the rest of 2020 looked from Zoom.

Finally getting to bust out of the upper room and get to the beach with a couple of friends. 

Black Lives Matter protests in Richmond- summer 2020

Mini-road trips to DC around VA in the summer...

I became a part of so many projects! Virtual Retreats for Liturgy Training Publications and starting my own podcast to name two!

Oh! And I moved to a new neighborhood and a new apt!

Going back to school in person and more local getaways distanced with friends. 

Halloween was much smaller this year, but still fun with some of my core people...and we didn't get to celebrate my dad's 70th as we had originally planned, but I still got to drive to Ohio to be with family.

Oh, and we got a new president after a historic election!

Honestly, the year was strange and isolating at times, of course, but a lot of good things were produced as well. I know that we have all experienced this year differently and I continue to pray for our health and our country. This year was a lot, but we learned and grew a lot. I've learned more than ever that we can only plan so much. I have no idea what to expect in 2021, but I hope to continue a lot of the growth that was started this year. 

Peace,

Julia

Fall 2020 Check In- Neediness and The Little Way- Also, Quarantine Week #30?!

 It has been a minute since I have written. As I've summarized previously, the first couple of months of this year were "normal". I was out and about with friends and family, visiting galleries, flying on planes, going to bars and restaurants. 

Then the shutdown happened. From March until about July, I was trying to find things to do with my time at home. I tried to visit outdoor spaces, have small outdoor gatherings with friends, and find new and old hobbies like podcasting, blogging, using virtual and social media to catechize and connect with others...I even made some more art. 

Here is some of the weird art I made during quarantine. I took a virtual class and we used modern artists to take inspiration from - my attempts at Picasso, Kusama, and Kehinde Wiley above. They aren't great, but it was therapeutic to connect with a class I used to take in Arlington virtually.

Then August came and it was time to head back to school. I had reservations and Teacher Work Week this year was unlike any I had experienced in my 11 years of teaching. Though, by the end of the week, I grew more confident in my school's plan to re-open and it was good to be surrounded by my colleagues again. 

September seemed to fly by, though I began to see the fruits of some of my labor. The podcast I had started in July was in full swing. I started to feel almost "normal" again. Even though teaching and gatherings looked different with masks and distancing, I almost started to feel like myself again.

Setting up my distanced classroom.

Exploring an outdoor art installation. 

My friend's art show opening. 

Making pierogies to remember a year since Babci entered eternal life.

Then this week hit. Just as I had started to feel normal, I was reminded this week that it is still 2020. 

The presidential debates were embarrassing to me. Our president who has been downplaying the virus that has been shutting our country down and killing thousands contracted it, right before the election. Heavy rains burst through Richmond and into my classroom. I came into school the day after the debates to water everywhere. I was discouraged by several other things this week at school and beyond. I was quickly humbled that things are still not "normal."

I love fall, but when the days start to get shorter and the weather starts to get colder, my mind and body know that winter is coming and there is a shift. I definitely suffer from SAD- seasonal affective disorder- and it seems that every year I experience that shift. 

Luckily, this time of year is also the time I am reminded of God's faithfulness by a great saint. 

My girl- St. Therese of Lisieux 

Ever since I read her autobiography, A Story of a Soul, my attitude towards this saint known as The Little Flower changed. I had previously wondered how I could ever connect to a saint who died so young and knew from a young age that she wanted to serve God as a nun and who came from a whole family of holy people. 

In reading her autobiography, however, I related to Therese's openness about her selfishness and being spoiled as a child. She recognized her neediness and turned it into generosity. 

During this week, when my neediness started to seep in, I was glad to have the reminder of this saint's Little Way. She committed to doing small things to step outside of herself- to be kinder to those in her convent that weren't kind to her. Her attitude of humility was exactly what I needed during a time when I start to turn inwards on myself because of the weather, because of the cultural climate, because of whatever this time of year tends to bring for me. 

St. Therese is also said to show signs of flowers or roses for answered prayers. I have documented in blogs past the signs that she has given to me. I always tell my students about the novena that I pray to her and they want to know if I've received a flower from her. 

I have yet to receive my flower this year, but on her feast day- Oct. 1- I went for a much needed walk to get out of my head and I felt her and God's presence with me. There weren't signs of flowers, but the sky was unique to me that night- with the clouds looking like mountains- and I felt like Therese would find some kind of analogy for mountains in the clouds as a way to draw us closer to God. 

I feel a little calmer today as I continue to battle my self-centeredness with gratitude. It seems small, but that was what St. Therese was about- finding the little, small things as a way to unity with God. I was also struck by the readings for today, too. The Old Testament readings this week have all been from Job (and we all know how things went for him, yet he remained faithful to God) and Psalm 119 really got me today. The whole thing struck a chord with me, but this line in particular:

"It is good for me that I have been afflicted,
that I may learn your statutes."- Psalm 119: 71

I want to be clear- I know that I have not been that afflicted. My afflictions are very small compared to others. St. Therese reminds me of my littleness and to take gratitude as the antidote to any sadness that I may have. 

I am grateful for the health of myself and those close to me. I am grateful for a job I love. I am grateful for shelter. I am grateful to be able to live a comfortable life. I am grateful to have people who love and care for me. I am grateful to be able to share gifts and time with others. 

As we enter into this time of short days and harvest, our thoughts can shift to what is dying or disappearing, but it also is a time to reap from our labor of the summer, and I do feel that, too. 

I have to continue to be hopeful and grateful. It is the only way- The Little Way. 

I hope that you all continue to stay safe and healthy and may you reap the fruits of your harvest as well.

Peace,

Julia

New Podcast! Introducing "Seven Mile Chats"

Since quarantine and COVID are not showing any signs of letting up any time soon, I started to think about what else I might be able to do to connect with others and share faith during this time. I really enjoyed working with a friend on his podcast earlier this year and wondered if that might be something that I could do myself. My friends were all super supportive and have helped me to put together this new podcast. Introducing...Seven Mile Chats!

I am really excited about this project because I get to talk about something that I love and know a little bit about- Scripture- and I get to do it with friends. I want to say thanks to everyone who encouraged me and helped me to put this together whether that be as a guest, creating the artwork, or giving me tips and insight on how to do this. 

The introductory teaser episode is out today with official episodes to drop each week. Subscribe on iTunes and Spotify! And let me know if you would like to be a guest and talk Scripture with me. 

Peace,

Julia

Mid-Summer, Mid 2020 Check-In

Well, June turned out to be quite a strange frenzy of a month, but perhaps the month that we needed. Today's post is really just for me to document kind of where I'm at with this very chaotic year.

2020 started out "normal". It was winter, though not quite the severe winter that we usually would have. I don't think that we had any snow in Richmond which is actually a little abnormal, but I was doing what I do: teaching, hanging out with friends, going to art shows, bars, gatherings, events. I even took a couple of flights in February and early March to hang out with friends and family.

As we all know, in mid-March, immediately after I returned from my last flight, it was time to quarantine. I recently looked back at my old posts and journals and found that even though we were in this time of quarantine, it hadn't really sunk in as to what that meant yet. We had been told we only would be out of school for two weeks. I even still went to a couple of friends' houses those two weeks in March (albeit they were small, outside gatherings). But once March 31st hit and it was known that we wouldn't be returning to school that year, the reality of what we were facing started to sink in.

April was full on lock-down as it was the month where we saw the most spikes and peaks of the virus. My conference in Baltimore was canceled. My trip to Ohio for Easter was canceled. Holy Week and Easter were streamed from my computer in my apartment. My birthday was a Zoom party and any social gatherings were also on Zoom. I truly didn't leave my apartment except for groceries and exercise (and once to see the new apartment I was eyeing) during the entire month and first half of May.

May was still pretty much lock down as Richmond didn't open anything back up until the very end of the month. And on Memorial Day this year, George Floyd was murdered. Richmond opened just in time for our streets to be flooded with protesters and for us to face the realities of our centuries of oppression over black lives.

June was a frenzy of a month. Now that things were starting to re-open simultaneously with protests, I had some choices to make. I chose to go to the Outer Banks in NC with my friend's family for the first week of June. It ended up being the right choice for me at the time. Not many people were at the beach yet, and we stayed quarantined in the house we rented for the entire week. I came back to Richmond refreshed after two months of being holed up in my apartment alone.

June also saw the re-opening of Church for me and I was able to start attending Mass in person again and even getting hired to play piano for some Masses and make the money I wasn't able to make when quarantined. Of course things weren't back to "normal". Mass looks different now. We register before we attend. We wait in line to go in and wear masks We are asked questions about our health and then are sat six feet from each other in roped off pews. It isn't "normal" but it has become, as we have all heard and said, "the new normal".

Throughout June, I started to see friends- again in small groups, mostly outdoors. I started to take little mini-trips around DC and VA to outdoor things as most indoor activities were still closed. I started to make a list of State Parks to visit and visited a few of those parks. I blogged A LOT in June as there was a lot to think about. I started to reach out to friends and Catholic organizations and think about what I could do to keep myself busy in case we don't go back to school.

And that brings me to July. Museums have opened back up, which are my happy place, so I went to quite a few this past first week in July. June and July also saw my first restaurant experiences. I have been to two or three outside and two inside. I can still count on one hand the establishments I've been to, and I want to keep it that way. As much as I have been appreciative to go and do some of the things I enjoyed doing before all of this, I don't want us to rush to do and open all of the things too soon. Yes, it has been four months so far in these various stages of quarantine. Yes, I want to go back to school. But I don't want us to if we aren't ready and if we continue to run around and do all of the things, we won't be ready. It won't be worth the risk. Cases of COVID are continuing to appear and while VA numbers are staying relatively low, they aren't disappearing. In other states that have reopened, the numbers of cases are going back up.

I need to keep reminding myself that we are still in quarantine. So this month, I am going to travel a little bit- to see my friend in Philly and my family in Ohio- but the weeks in between those things, I'm staying in my apartment and quarantining still. So, I'm still looking for and working on projects, blogging, maybe starting a podcast? Who knows. I'm also starting to think about what I will need to do to my lesson plans depending on what school will look like in August. I'm bracing for all possibilities and it is a little overwhelming.

But the constant in ALL of this is God's hand and prayer. Quarantine has been a time for me to reflect, for better or for worse, and have consistent prayer time each day. It's been a time for me to have to reach out to others in different ways. And I know that God has His hand in the movements in our country, the shaking up of our systems, and the reckoning we are having with our culture right now. 2020 has been weird and hard. In some ways, it has gone by really quickly. I don't know what the second half of 2020 will bring, but I think we are seeing the possibilities and I hope that we do what is right and take care of ourselves and one another.

Today is the feast of St. Kateri Tekakwitha- the first Native American saint. Her story is complicated, much like our country's history. But we know that she had a heart for God and people which is what made her a saint. St. Kateri Tekakwitha, pray for your Church and your country. We need you and your prayers right now!

Stay safe, everyone. But know that we've got this if we work together and do what is best for the common good: wearing masks, staying in as much as we can, supporting black lives and lifting up our voices for those in need.

Peace,
Julia