Finding The Passion

As Holy Week approaches with Palm Sunday this weekend, I'm once again realizing how bad I am at this present moment thing!!! Where did my Lent go?? Even as I announced it to my students on Friday, reminding them to take advantage of the upcoming liturgies, they seemed relatively shocked that Lent was coming to a close.

And so, I am forced to reflect once again: how did this Lent go? I was moderately successful at keeping my Lenten promises: only indulging in my sworn off cheese a couple of times on the designated feast days and maybe a Sunday or two. And the time that I did take for my Lenten prayer, the prayer was very beneficial. Notice that I said for the time I did take...oops.

I love Holy Week, though. And I love the Easter Season. I love the drama and the joy that this week and season bring. And even if we haven't been as successful as we would've liked with our Lenten commitments, there is still time! This week is perhaps the most important of them all: a week to truly remember the Sacrifice that was made with our own sacrifices of time, fasting, and prayer.

You may remember that I was encouraged this Lent to look at my own Salvation History. I got caught up in the covenants that the Lord as made with me. He has provided and kept promises and provided salvation in so many ways, so many times.

But now we are approaching the crux of Salvation History: Holy Week and The Passion. In praying about this, I was forced to think of my own passions. And not necessarily my own sufferings or "deaths", though that would also be a good thing to meditate on this week,

When I looked up the word "passion", two definitions popped up. One is the definition that I teach to my students: "the suffering and death of Jesus." The other is the one that most of society is familiar with: "strong and barely controllable emotion."

How different these definitions are. Christ's suffering and death required an immense amount of discipline and self control and then ultimately a dying (literally) to self. It was selfless. The latter definition seems the opposite. It seems indulgent and promoting a lack of self control.

For me, passion is a deep fervor and drive. It is a something that you foster and it moves you. And so as we move forward towards the Passion, I think of Christ's inner drive that moved Him to die for each one of us and I think of what drives me.

And what does drive me these days? What am I passionate about? What do I receive life from? Because I believe that ultimately our passions are life giving, just like Christ's.

Again, in researching the many concepts and definitions of "passion" I found this article that made some interesting points, but not all that I necessarily agree with. The article asserts that our passion comes from our successes. And to an extent, I can agree with that. We find our passion for something when we realize that we are good at something....sometimes. But I have many friends that are passionate about music, who aren't necessarily musical themselves. And we all know that I have a passion for art, when my art is amateur at best.

I did, however, like the image and title that article used about passion being like a mystical unicorn:

In some ways, passion does seems like this mystical unicorn that is illusive and somewhat mythical. Everyone is "looking" for it, but do not know where to find it.  But I do believe that passion is real. We have to. Otherwise, what is life worth living for?

For many, our passions come from our relationships. Our families. For me, my passion does come from my relationship with God. I have a passion for sharing my faith (obvi ;). And I do have a passion for some of the things I consider myself good at: music, teaching, writing...wine :) And then I have some things that I am passionate about that I'm not necessarily good at: art, staying active, being compassionate to others ;)

As we approach Holy Week, I'm going to try and persevere in holding onto the present moment, taking in each day as I can. And I will try to get caught up in Christ's Passion (and passion) for us as well as discern my own driving forces and passions.

Here we go...entering into Holy Week!!

Peace,
Julia

Covenants: Lenten Check In

Another snow day, another day to blog. I swear that DC didn't always used to be like this. When I was in college, we would have (maybe) a big snow storm or two in Dec or January and then that was it. I distinctly remember walking around campus in March with short sleeves on and no jacket. The past two years, however, have been terrible for snow!

And while a snow day can be a gift and I am surely grateful for the extra time to reflect and relax, there comes a time when enough is enough.

Some people think snow is pretty. And, well... I guess :) But I have almost always seen it as inhibiting. I think of all the things that I can't do when there is snow: I can't drive anywhere. I can't get the things I wanted to get done accomplished. And right now I am sad because it may mean that I can't fly home to see my 92 year old grandmother this weekend.

Happy belated birthday, Babci!

I suppose this is part of my nature- to see the negative side of things- and it is something I have been working on the past decade or so. I'm getting better :) I have mentioned that one of my resolutions has been to be more positive in the present moment.

But I think that the way I view snow, is the way many of us view the Church. We think about what the Church says that we can't do. We feel inhibited, instead of the gift that the Church is.

In addition to trying to be positive in the present moment this year, I am trying to reflect on my salvation history with God. I have found this to be life-giving so far this Lent. I am taking time in my prayer to think about key moments in my life with God. Allowing Him to affirm me, and also to reflect on the promises we have made and carried out: our covenants.

As usual, my personal reflection crosses over with my work. Occupational hazard. I have been teaching my sophomores about Old and New Testament covenants. But the focus has helped me to, again, look at the promises God has made and fulfilled for me and (hopefully) encouraged them to reflect on the same in their own lives.

Another thing that Father encouraged me to do this Lent was to take some time to pray through my art. My art class for this Winter/Spring started last week, but last night we had the opportunity to do something in which I was able to apply my Lenten commitment.

The assignment/technique was to create symbols of importance to us in bold black paint and then to pick a favorite color to layer over that. And then go over again in another color layer.

The symbols I picked were very much part of my reflection on covenants. I thought of how light is always a sign of God's presence, so I was very much taken with the idea of a flame or candle. The candle (obvi) also represents baptism, where we first made our vows with God.

I also have been struck by the Noah story since I have been teaching it and reflecting on it in the liturgical readings lately. The symbol of water reminds of us Baptism, but water is also destructive in the story of the Flood. For me, the boat (ark) and water is a reminder of peace and also of trust. I think of the story where Jesus calms the water while on the boat because the apostles were frightened. That is the quintessential story of trust for me. And when we place our trust in God, it can bring great peace. Just like the peace we may feel when sitting calmly on a beach or a lake.

My friend and I always have commented that if you have water, sun, and a mountain you can find your "chi"...I have all of those things here :)

I was grateful for the opportunity to apply my Lenten reflection to an art lesson and I hope to continue this theme of promise and covenants throughout Lent.

What has God promised you? What have you promised Him? What are the signs He has given you as a part of this covenant? This is something I've been reflecting on with my students and I pass those questions onto you.

Happy Lent!

Peace,
Julia