Running the Race

Love 'N' Lourdes

2012-02-11T09:36:00.000-05:00

Today is the Feast of Our Lady of Lourdes- the apparition of Mary that St. Bernadette saw in Lourdes, France in 1858.

Many of my closest friends have been to Lourdes and have a great devotion to Our Lady of Lourdes because of it. When this date rolls around, I think of them and the great things that have happened for them because of their devotion. And then I pray that Mary will hook me up as well :) (I did have a friend light a candle for me there this summer on pilgrimmage! So it was like I was there, right?? )

I think it's cool that my close friends and I can share a devotion like this together. But then again, I am a huge nerd :)

In my grad studies and in the readings at Mass this week, a theme that keeps popping up is idol worship. In the daily readings, the stories of David, Solomon, and their successors show how the Israelites were weak and needed a king and then the kings themselves were weak and poor examples to the Israelites.

In idol worship news: Many non-Catholic Christians think that we "worship" Mary. But we believe that she is our strong intercessor and believe that since she IS the Mother of GOD, Christ is likely to listen to her prayers :)

But back to this week's readings...The kings didn't always have bad intentions- we know David's intentions were often good, and God will reward Him with the descendant of Christ Himself because of it- but they often did bend to their own wills or the will of the people. (Solomon- exhibit A: allowing his many wives to worship pagan gods...)

In my grad class we just read Ezekiel and BOY if my students only knew the racy stuff that was in there! They might start to think the Bible was almost as "good" as Jersey Shore!

I always kind of brushed over Ezekiel because I never understood it. And for good reason- his prophecies rival the crazy that we see in the images of the Book of Revelations. Who can decipher it?

Um, my 90 year old priest prof of course.

No, but for reals...Ezekiel Chap 16 and Chap 23 would get my students interested for all the wrong reasons. Ezekiel swears that God is telling him that the people of Israel are like a man who would sleep with a prostitute and goes into detail. (Also, there is nothing more uncomfortable than reading said details with two priests in a small classroom, one at the age of 90...)

I will never find myself teaching Ezekiel Chap 16 & 23, I'm pretty sure, even though I now know the meaning. Which is a shame, because I think that it is something we can relate still relate to (not the prostitute part!! Get your head out of the gutter...)

Over and over we see the Israelites falling away from God and He keeps sending prophets and kings and judges to get them back. Finally, He sends His only Son who can truly redeem us all.

With Valentine's Day coming up, "love is in the air." But these readings of late speak to me of love (and not because the women in Ezekiel are giving it freely)

I always start out my Scripture course with Taylor Swift's "Love Story" because 1.) I'm hip like that. 2) because I want the students to see that the Bible is God's Love Story with humanity...

...even the crazy parts like Ezekiel and Revelations.

The Bible is God continually reaching out to a broken world and THIS is what we can relate to. Our lives and our world is still broken. But we have the Good News that God has sent His Son into the world and we have only to "love God with all our heart, soul, and mind." (Mt 22: 37)

God loves us sooo much! And so I am inspired to share in that love this Valentine's.

ALSO, yesterday, one of the religion teachers at school had a speaker come talk to her students and since I wasn't feeling so well, I hopped on that train and took my students to hear him too :)

It was a guy who I had actually heard speak on Theology on Tap and found his story inspiring. Long story short, he is a young guy who had some huge heartbreaks in his life: loss of his mother, a failed marriage, and health issues. But he took up running and felt God calling him to run across the U.S. and use prayer as his motivator.

His story is pretty unbelievable- 3,700 miles!! Running!! Um...I can barely run a 5k.

I think the kids were inspired by his athletic achievement, but I was inspired by how close he stayed with God. He took prayer intentions from others before and while on the road and the prayers kept him going. And he has heard back from people saying that their prayers were answered. The power of prayer and his commitment to holiness and prayer is really what inspired me.

If prayer can motivate him to run across the country, certainly prayer can inspire me just reap the benefits of a deeper relationship with God! He persevered TRULY in "Running the Race." It's a good reminder that I need to persevere in prayer...even if it seems pointless or hopeless or monotonous at times.

Our Lady of Lourdes, pray for us!

Peace,
Julia

SuperB Owl Sunday

2012-02-05T15:09:00.000-05:00

WHOM do you wish to win the Super Bowl?

I saw this clever play on the Super Bowl- "the Superb Owl"- on Facebook and I prefer owls to football, so I thought I'd address Super Bowl Sunday in this way :)

Plus, birds- and owls in particular- are ALL the rage these days. Also, mustaches. That may seem like an aside, but they are both very much related and both very much hipster. I should know, since I have hipster tendencies myself.

Let it be known, however, that this blog had a bird background well before this trend, true to my hipster tendency form. ( This is an aside and a beloved joke between my friend @ChristineMarieN and I: "Why did the hipster burn his tongue?" "He ate pizza before it was cool ;) My blog's bird background was simply a sick homage to my Twitter obsession, but now it is widely known that if you want something to seem cool and infinitely more expensive, simply "Put a Bird on It".

While I do care to keep up with pop trends, I don't care much for professional sports, I must say. But I get that people uphold these athletes and teams in the same way my family might uphold Rock and Roll or the Beatles. And I do think there is something about it that brings humanity together and we should honor those who reach high achievements... I get it.

I, however, also taught an excerpt from Gaudium et Spes (The Second Vatican Council document on The Church in the Modern World) and had my students reflect on a few paragraphs including this passage:

"But what is man? About himself he has expressed, and continues to express, many divergent and even contradictory opinions. In these he often exalts himself as the absolute measure of all things or debases himself to the point of despair. The result is doubt and anxiety." - The Church in the Modern World, 12.

I had the students reflect on how we exalt certain celebrities or athletes and then how that can lead to our own "debasement" of ourselves. We go to the two extremes- either wanting to exalt ourselves or not realizing our self worth.

St. Paul, however, has something for us again today in this morning's readings:

Brothers and sisters:
If I preach the gospel, this is no reason for me to boast,
for an obligation has been imposed on me,
and woe to me if I do not preach it!...

Although I am free in regard to all,
I have made myself a slave to all
so as to win over as many as possible.
To the weak I became weak, to win over the weak.
I have become all things to all, to save at least some.
All this I do for the sake of the gospel,
so that I too may have a share in it. - 1 Corinthians 9: 16-23

St. Paul makes himself "a slave to the gospel" and makes himself "weak" so that others may be saved. Is this debasement? Does St. Paul not know his self worth?

Of course not. We know St. Paul takes his new identity in Christ and when he is trying to "win people over" it is not for his own glorification or desire to be liked. He truly just wants others to find the truth in Christ. It's his "obligation" (as it is ours as Baptized Christians, like it or not!) and he embraces the challenge fully and purely.

This pure motivation for the gospel is easier said than done, which is why we are "running the race." :) St. Paul and the epistle writers often use athletes as images and symbols because of their discipline. And what greater discipline is there than to follow the gospel inside and out for its own sake and the sake of others??

So perhaps we can admire our athletes for their discipline and take it as an example to exalt the Gospel- not ourselves. But also to know that we are worth so much since we are made in the image and likeness of God and Christ gave his life for us.

Also, I just want to give a shout to God for His help in overcoming one of the struggles I began this year with. I know we are only a month in, but He has given me MUCH grace in choosing to be supportive and joy-filled for these upcoming weddings and celebrations I've got going on this year. I was a little leary in beginning 2012, but now I have much hope and joy for this year and I know that's all His doing :)

Enjoy the SuperB day!

Peace,

Julia

St. Paul and the Single Ladies

2012-01-29T12:57:00.000-05:00

Even some 4-5 years later, St. Paul still has my back.

Now, I don't want to talk about the fact that it was almost 5 YEARS AGO now that I took a leap of faith and entered religious life. Nope. I don't want to talk about that. Five years just does not seem accurate so I just can't be bothered by that fact.

However, one of the girls I entered postulancy with did make her first vows this weekend. So I suppose the numbers don't exactly lie...

Shoot. That's kind of a lot to think about. I could have been wearing a veil right about now. And not like the ones on "Say Yes to the Dress." But how did I celebrate yesterday as my co-postulant friend was receiving her habit and vowing to religious life?

Um, I was at one of the bars that was very significant during my time of discernment 5 years ago. Naturally.

This is one of the items which I just noticed yesterday when at this illustrious establishment. This is my kind of home decor. WANT.

Yup. About 4.5 years ago, my friends were sending me off with a "bachelorette party" at this bar and now, 4.5 years later, I was back, talking with one of my single friends about my decision to enter. And leave. Like it was just yesterday.

I just want to say my past 2 weekends have been great because they have been filled with quality time with some of my favorite single ladies. Last weekend, I drank some wine and played an epic game of trivia pursuit with a co-worker and then hung out at a bar listening to a 90s cover band with one of my favorite uber-Catholic YM friends. This weekend, different names, but kind of the same: lunch with an uber-Catholic single gal like myself and then shopping/dinner/drinks with another co-worker. All single ladies. All fabulous gifts to me right now in my life!

So my coworker last night was asking me over beer (and next to this amazing table piece above!) about why I decided to enter religious life in the first place. I still kind of can't believe that 4-5 years later I'm still talking about and processing this, but I guess it's going to be a fact that I discuss the rest of my life since it was a significant decision in my life.

I articulated to her for the first time in a long while that I had done it because I want to give of myself in a special way. Of course, there was more than that and there are many ways to do that type of giving without signing up for an order. But it was good to hear myself say it again and remind myself that I still want to give of myself for God in a special way.

And I believe I am doing that now with the single vocation and the way I am living my life through teaching and trying to be as holy as I can be (while still drinking at bars now and again ;)

St. Paul gave me an extra boost years ago when I was discerning and he gave me more insight today with this second reading at Mass:

Brothers and sisters:
I should like you to be free of anxieties.
An unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord,
how he may please the Lord.
But a married man is anxious about the things of the world,
how he may please his wife, and he is divided.
An unmarried woman or a virgin is anxious about the things of the Lord,
so that she may be holy in both body and spirit.
A married woman, on the other hand,
is anxious about the things of the world,
how she may please her husband.
I am telling you this for your own benefit,
not to impose a restraint upon you,
but for the sake of propriety
and adherence to the Lord without distraction.

This reading definitely affirms me in my focus on "things of the Lord" in my singleness. As I think I mentioned before, our society today says that the advantage (if there is an advantage at all) to being single is getting to do all the UN-holy things. But here, St. Paul seems to say almost the opposite. We get to focus solely on our relationship with God and making ourselves holy while married people can become distracted.

Now, of course I know MANY holy married people with families and they give me hope for the Sacrament of Marriage and that if I am called to that vocation, the beauty and grace that can be given in that call. But I like thinking of the advantages I have as a single person since society doesn't always seem to think there is one.

In the midst of my bar-evangelization conversation with my co-worker (my favorite kind of evangelization :) and the telling of my religious discernment story, she looked at me and said: "I just got a flash of what a good mom you would be. I think you are going to be a mom." To which I said:

HAHAHAHAHAHA...KIDS. HAHAHAHA...oh.

For now, I just want to focus on living this vocation that God has placed me in with the focus that St. Paul says it requires. Thanks, St. Paul!

And many prayers for Sr. Emily Beata on her first profession :)

Peace,

Julia

Blogger's Block?

2012-01-24T06:41:00.002-05:00

I am definitely having writer's block of late. This year has been off to a pretty good start, but much like 2011, this first month has flown by!

It was easy to be reflective over Christmas break because I had TIME. Once school kicks in, it's full steam ahead, and we're there. I've had to make a pact with God that when I go to my prayer time (when I take it- yikes!) that I will just be attentive to Him and ME. Using our prayer time for others is great and important, but I get so easily wrapped up in thoughts of school that it has begun to consume my life and my prayer- NOT COOL!

Hard to believe, but we start the second semester at the school tomorrow. I'm excited to see some of the sophomores I haven't seen yet this year and to meet my new freshmen. I had a really good semester this year, and I pray that this second year, second semester of teaching gets even better.

SEE!? I'm doing it AGAIN. ENOUGH SCHOOL TALK.

...except...one more thing. And this thing's okay 'cause it's about grad school and I'm doing that for MYSELF, right? Right.

I'm taking another Scripture course this semester and it's with a priest who is- no joke- 90. YEARS. OLD. He was there when I was in undergrad, which should come as no surprise because he's been there since like the 1950s...

A few months ago I was having coffee with two dear friends and we were talking about the "trifecta of adorable" and realized that each of us was partial to one of the three. The trifecta being: small animals (dogs in particular for my one friend), babies (naturally), and the elderly. We all know that my heart (and ovaries) only burst for babies on minimal occasions, and I almost take a little bit too much pleasure in reminding my students that animals were created inferior to man. But old people...damn if they don't make my heart of ice and stone melt.

So the ancient priest is adorable. And smart! Many of you are familiar with my 89 year old quick-witted grandmother who doesn't act a day over 70. This priest falls into similar territory, God love 'em.

Here's a pic of Babci in 2009 with my cousin, doing jello shots the morning AFTER my sister's wedding. Yeah. That's how we do. I may or may not have still been my bridesmaid's dress...it happens...

I've been taking my reflections of my Scripture studies with Father Nonagenarian a little to prayer...do you think that's breaking my no-school-during-prayer-time rule?! It's just good stuff!

So I said I had writer's block and now I'm talking about all of the things without even mentioning how awesome retreat was!

I think I'm postponing writing about it because it was so great and there's still alot for me to unpack. But I also think if I continue to postpone, I may never write about it, so here's the breakdown:

My spiritual director led another awesome retreat. That is all.

.....

......

Just kidding! There were about 15 of us again this year and it's always an amazing group and I'm always in awe of what amazing people God has placed in my life.

This is why I'm confident He will continue to place the right people in my life at the right time.

The theme I originally wasn't crazy about when he told me what it was, but I KNEW he would rock it and God would rock it and we'd be all about it the minute we got there.

The group and my old roomies- reunited!

The theme was The Magi and Father broke it down into three talks or themes more or less: The Search, The Encounter, and then the Transformation.

The first talk was discussing the difference between Herod's search for Christ and the Magi's. The Magi didn't know exactly what they were searching for or what they would find. Herod did his research (or had others do it for him) but his motives were impure. The Magi were much more open. Father challenged us to ask ourselves: are we still searching for Christ? And if so, are we searching openly or selfishly?

For the Encounter piece, we talked about the gifts that the Magi brought and each of there significance. The gold was fit for a king and a sign of beauty. Frankincense is a pleasant oil used for worship and the sacrifices of a priest (meant to cover the nasty smell of animal sacrifices back in the day- yuck!)

Father had broken us up into small groups to discuss the gifts and my group got the last gift- myrrh. Another oil, but not as pleasant. It came from kind of a broken looking, nasty, gnarly tree and was used for embalming dead bodies. Fun! What a gift for a king, right? We looked at the symbolism of it and were asked to reflect on how we could offer such a gift.

I thought it interesting that the others in my group were the other single people and my friend G who has been struggling with infertility. Our plights were different from my other friends who were all engaged or married in the other groups. I thought the symbol of myrrh- a strange, different kind of gift- was fitting for the unconventional sacrifices that my small group itself has to offer- our "strange", unconventional struggles of singleness and infertility in a world that expects marriage and babies at this time in our lives.

Father also encouraged us to think about places we search for and encounter Jesus. The Retreat Center where we were is a place where I often encounter God. My friends from CUA and I love going there because it has had so many peaceful, joyful memories involving God and our friendships.

Lastly, Father asked us- how are we going to leave transformed? The Magi departed The Holy Family by a different way than which they came. Were we going to do the same? How?

The retreat overall brought me much joy, but like I said, I'm still unpacking certain pieces. But I"m so grateful, and as always, I can think of no better way to start a new year!

Well, off to....I was GOING to say, starting a new semester, but I'm trying to cut the school-ties so to speak, so I will tell you what I'm ACTUALLY going to be doing right now and that is this:

Watch the Bachelor! haha!

A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do...don't judge. (Though I will be judging ALL of the contestants on this show but that's because they are CRAZY :).

Peace,
Julia

"Twenty-Twelve" has a nice ring to it...

2012-01-01T09:38:00.000-05:00

As previously mentioned my roommates from the past 3 or so years and I used to come up with themes to live for each new year.

Before I started living with them, they had still roomed with each other and I believe some of their themes were something like: "the year of high expectations." The years of "low expectations" and eventually, "no expectations" soon followed...

2009, though, was the year of "positive realism" for us. I had one roommate who would have high hopes all of the time, but maybe not always achievable, realistic goals. I consider myself a realist, so we melded our two mottoes together.

I believe 2010 had something to do with hope, and 2011 I can't recall...I can't seem to recall much of 2011, actually, not because I was in a drug haze or drunk stupor, but just because it went SO FAST!

I texted my old roommates and asked if this year- 2012- could be the year of "wanton bliss." Heh. I was half kidding. I just always try to be so grounded and realistic and the saying goes that "ignorance is bliss." Sometimes, I don't want to analyze stuff (yes I do) and throwing practicality aside to be "ignorantly blissful" sounds fun (I would never want to be ignorant.)

So maybe "wanton, unabashed bliss" is not the best theme for me...but I will keep it in mind! I am toying around a theme with "joy" and I also have been struck lately by the virtues. So perhaps "virtuous joy" will be a theme. I will try to focus on virtue that is being produced in me, rather than suffering or the struggles. And I will try to be joyful and not jealous or envious.

Other new year's resolutions for 2012:

- cook more (gasp!)
- drink less (I just realized that drinking is what alot of us singles go-to as the thing we "get to do" since we are single. Ie: "oh, you're pregnant? HA. I get to DRINK." "oh, you're getting married? I'll be at the BAR." I don't like that this as our default, so Imma keep that in mind this year)

-like I said before, look at the virtue in things, rather than the struggle
- and try to be more joyful for myself and others

When I was home for Christmas, I went to one of my favorite chapels to pray. It overlooks Lake Erie and has Perpetual Adoration- two of my favorite things: nature and Jesus!

I particularly liked the saying that was underneath the tabernacle embroidered on one of the linens:

It says: "He has come as He has promised- Let us rejoice and share His Love with all the earth." - Love it!

Sometimes I'll go and sit outside and overlook the lake...um, not this time...

outside the chapel :)

check out the waves blowing up on the lot! pretty sure that's how the tree got like this:

Happy 2012, everybody! May it be a year of much virtue and joy for all of us (and maybe a little bliss for good measure ;)

Peace,
Julia

Is This Normal?! (Julia's Wedding Stats)

2011-12-31T05:19:00.000-05:00

So, claiming that 2012 will be one of the biggest wedding years for me since 2005 seems like a rather big claim, knowing my history of weddings...

But how well do we really know my history of weddings, folks? And is it normal? I could have been bitching for years and perhaps my attendance at weddings over my 30 years of life is entirely normal.

Because I seem to always be going to or talking about weddings in my life, people have started to ask me: "Well, how many have you been to? Invited to?" I never had answers. Until now.

The following are my "wedding stats" to the best of my knowledge. If you don't care in any way about this random aspect of my life, feel free to stop reading.

If you care to find out if I am "normal" or "freakish" in any way...read on!

I have divided most by year, the number of weddings I was invited to, the number I actually attended, and included my roles in any of those weddings in parenthesis. You're welcome.

Julia's Weddings Stats:

Weddings attended Prior to 2003 (before graduation of college): 7
(cousins, aunt, family friend, respectively)
RSVP "no" (that I'm aware of...parents took care of most of these things at this time of my life): 1

2003: 4 wedding invitations, 2 attended (1 as Maid of Honor)

2004: 1 invitation, 1 attended (as bridesmaid)

2005: 7 invitations, 4 attended, (1 as bridesmaid, 1 as Eucharistic Minister)

2006: 3 invitations, 3 attended (1 as Maid of Honor, 1 as musician, 1 I gave the "blessing" at the reception, and 1 as a "flower maiden"...yup. I had to wear a dress, so I count this as a "bridesmaid" duty)

2007: 3 invitations, 3 attended (2 as musician, 1 gave "blessing" at reception)

2008: 6 invitations, 3 attended (1 as "lector")

2009: 7 invitations, 4 attended (1 as Maid of Honor, another as a bridesmaid)

2010: 2 invitations, 2 attended

2011: 3 invitations, 2 attended (1 as musician)

So, if you are keeping track...that's at least 44 weddings in my 30 years of life that I have been invited to (that I remembered and was able to write down), 31 I've attended (1 for each year of my life so far, I suppose), and 13 I've said "no" to. Is that normal?? I really want to know!

Additional stats:
7 bridesmaid dresses
3 times as maid of honor
4 times as musician
2 times giving a blessing
1 as a lector
1 as a Eucharistic Minister

So that's about 14 out of 30 attended that I was actually involved with in some way ( I double-dutied at one)...again...normal?!

2012 brings about approximately 8 more potential weddings for me, bringing my tally of invitations up to 52 by age 31....is that normal?!?

I need to know people! Comments welcome...

I'm sorry if this post was entirely sad and pathetic. Happy New Year! Themes for the New Year coming next...

Comfort and Joy on the Feast of Stephen

2011-12-31T04:21:00.002-05:00

**post written the day after Christmas, Dec. 26, 2011**

NAME THOSE CHRISTMAS CAROLS!

What are the songs that the title(s) of this post are from? Go ahead, I'll wait...

I just want to start this post by saying I DOMINATED at the Christmas carol portion of “Holiday Trivia” which I played with the Strukely side of the family last night. (God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen and Good King Wenceslaus, ftw, btw!)

We are HUGE nerds, I know. We also thoroughly enjoy our annual Christmas carol sing a long which usually lasts for- no joke- 2 hours.

My aunts also have founded a new key- the Key of M. M stands for Manhattans. Our drink of choice. It could also stand for "Merry", because it makes our Christmas much more that...

So Merry Christmas, y’all! Yes, I know that Christmas Day has past, but the Christmas SEASON has just begun, folks! Rumor has it that the Pope doesn’t take his Christmas décor down until the Presentation of Our Lord- February 2nd! Take that, Martha Stewart!

My pre-Christmas/Christmas celebrations were very Merry, though, there is always some element of stress from somewhere.- some kind of drama that the devil loves to throw in just because there’s all this love and joy floating around.

I had to remind myself a couple times these last days that Jesus has conquered that whole mess. That’s why we are celebrating!

Some of the other things that have been giving me comfort: this new book that I received from my Secret Santa at work (which I had really wanted since I saw this clip of Fr. James Martin on the Colbert Report) “Between Heaven and Mirth”: Why Joy, Humor, and Laughter are a the Heart of the Spiritual Life”.

I’m only a couple chapters in, but Father makes such good points about how we don’t focus enough on joy in the spiritual life. But it is really what connects us most to God. Suffering can bring us closer to him, since in those moments we open ourselves up to God many times, but if our faith life is just about suffering- it won’t last. We hold onto our faith because of the JOY we experience at certain points of our life. And Christmas is one of the feasts, I think, which we most receive and remember that joy.

Today is also the Feast of St. Stephen Martyr, so I read some of Acts where Stephen is mentioned. The apostles in Acts amaze me. They are SO full of the Holy Spirit! So fearless! They are being terribly persecuted- I mean, Stephen is stoned to death- and yet, they are at peace and perseverant.

Before the break, I was teaching my students about these very things- suffering and virtue. We do so focus on the suffering- myself included- when really should be focused on achieving the virtue it can produce. Reading the Acts of the Apostles today motivated me in this. There is no doubt (since they had just witnessed the Pentecost!) that they were on fire with the gifts of the spirit: Wisdom, Knowledge, Understanding, Fortitude, Counsel, Piety, and Fear of the Lord. It is so evident in their preaching and actions.

We received these gifts at our Baptism and have them stirred up for us at Confirmation. I remind my students that we have these Gifts inside of us, we just need to use them! And JOY is one of the fruits of the Spirit- also given to us at Baptism.

2012 is fast becoming another year of the wedding for me. As we know, I already have quite a few weddings under my belt (and dresses in my closet). Weddings can and should bring much joy. But for a single girl who has been on the non-stop train from Weddingville since 2003*, it can also bring a little suffering. I am praying for an increase of the Gifts and Fruits of the Holy Spirit in a special way on this Feast of Stephen to carry me through whatever 2012 might bring!

I’m holding onto Hope, people. Hope and Joy- a theological virtue and fruit of the Spirit- and what most unites us to Christ, especially at Christmas.

Each year, my previous roommates and I would come up with a "theme" for the new year. I haven't quite formulated it yet, but I think 2012's theme will have something to do with "Joy".**

I will leave you with another fun-filled moment from Christmas 2011 that I feel best reflects why I am the way I am.

In addition to Christmas trivia and Christmas carols, my family also got into a heated debate about mortal sin. Who does this? My family.

Luckily, I had 5 priests listed in my phone to settle the score. Who am I? Right. The religious girl who loves pop culture and karaoke. It was refreshing to remember where I get it from.

Merry Christmas!
Peace,
Julia

* I intend to write a post in which I prove this claim...stay tuned!

** I also intend to write a post in which I document these themes and my proposed theme for 2012...I know you will look forward to that! Huzzah!

The Birthday of a King

2011-12-20T20:28:00.002-05:00

Before the craziness of Christmas really kicks in, I thought I'd write my little reflection on Christmas (does it make it less credible if Christmas hasn't happened yet? Maybe.)

We are finished with school for the next TWO WEEKS! Huzzah! I won't be going back to school until the NEW YEAR. Kind of hard to believe.

And today I had time to do all of the things! Gym, Prayer, and FINISH MY CHRISTMAS SHOPPING! I WIN!!! (as if it were a competition. It kind of was. With myself. I didn't think I could do it, but I did! I got satisfactory gifts for everyone on my list! WIN!)

Of course, I want to share with you the prayer part of this day :)

I went into my prayer time because I felt a nudging to go and I fully intended to go in and complain to Jesus about all the things I WANT for Christmas/New Year.

Wouldn't you know it- in typical Jesus fashion- He had me change my way of thinking so I left there feeling grateful for everything I already have. How Christ-masy of Him! It seriously was like a Christmas special. (no it wasn't.)

Today is Tuesday, so I was praying the Sorrowful Mysteries even though it is Christmas time. It's not the Christmas season YET exactly, if you want to get technical (and I do because I am the liturgy police. Not really. Well, kind of...) Advent is a Penitential season, so I figured the Sorrowful Mysteries were still appropriate. I was praying the third mystery (Crowing of Thorns) and thought about how Jesus was born to be a King.

THEN that made me think of THIS Song which was on our "Wee Sing Christmas Carols" tape that I made my parents play relentlessly each Christmas for probably every year until I was 18:
(the link is to the Judy Garland version. You're welcome):

In the little village of Bethlehem
There lay a child one day
And the sky was bright
With a holy light
O'er the place where Jesus lay.

Alleluia
O how the angels sang!
Alleluia
How it rang!
And the sky was bright
With a holy light
'Twas the birthday of a King.

Humble birthplace but oh how much God gave to us that day!
From the manger bed what a path has led
What a perfect holy way.

Looking at the Old Testament and Salvation History really does give a different perspective on Christmas. You hear about David and how he was not of "stately appearance" yet chosen to be King. Isaiah prophesies similar things about Jesus and you see how perfectly the Old and the New match up. It's kind of unbelievable...yet...what helps us believe. Both kings, both not what anyone expected. One, the youngest son (instead of the entitled oldest) and a shepherd/hippy musician/songwriter at that. The other, our SPIRITUAL shepherd, born of a carpenter in the city of David...not in some palace.

And what do kings have? Their heralds! In this case- angels. I also really love Luke's Gospel account of Christmas (not just because it's the one read in A Charlie Brown Christmas) but because Luke was writing for Gentiles and used the characters of shepherds to convey how the King is truly for everyone. The angels went to SHEPHERDS to represent the everyman...and also probably to show how this image of shepherd to king, king to shepherd has come full circle.

So even though my last post was about Treating YoSelf, the true Spirit of Christmas is about the sacrifice of God's only Son for us- who was a different kind of King. He would have to endure all kinds of trials, just to complete his mission- salvation for us all.

And that's what Christmas is all about...Charlie Brown.

Treat YoSelf 2011 or Advent 2.0

2011-12-17T08:41:00.005-05:00

I'm feeling very much like I did when I wrote this post on fall a couple months ago.

I have done ALL of the Advent/Christmas things this week!

And true-to-form, this post will be updatey/reflection-y as such.

It all began with the Cookie Exchange of aught 11 that I already gave you a glimpse into last week. The Milky Way bars were a success- if not at the party, but definitely with my roommates this week (as they helped me eat ALL of the leftovers. So. Many. Cookies! This is a week where it is good to live with four other women ;)

We drank mulled wine, played the Pandora Christmas station...it was Christmas-y.

But it's not Christmas yet! We know this! Gaudate Sunday came and I went to a parish where my friend who was ordained this summer is parochial vicor. He wasn't the priest saying Mass- and a good thing- 'cause I was appalled to see that the man WASN'T WEARING PINK! (or "rose" as they insist on calling it. It's pink. OWN IT.)

What do priests have against pink!? Humph.

Meanwhile, back at school- the students had exams for the latter half of the week. The first half I was finishing up chapters but felt the need to introduce Isaiah- since it IS Advent- in my Scripture class.

I love me some Isaiah. I mean...the dude (or whoever ended up writing his works for him) was so dead. on!

"Behold! A virgin shall conceive, and bear a Son, and shall call His name Emmanuel; God with us"

This idea of "Emmanuel- God with Us" has been kind of a thing for me this Advent as I am reflect on the person of Jesus in the Sacred Heart. And I've also used the song by Sarah Hart- "God with Us"- twice at school litrugies :) I can't get enough! (scroll down on the link to find the mp3)

I also happened to go to Handel's "Messiah" with one of my roommates last night. I've gone a time or two before (my dad is a singer and often sings it. Not QUITE as often as my sister dances in the Nutcracker...omg I've seen that show so many times done every. way. imaginable....)

But I don't think I really appreciated Handel's piece as much as I did after having a) just taught Isaiah and 2.) my Paschal Mystery course

Dude (Handel) took the whole text straight from Scripture, yo! And in a world where we are soooo against talking about our faith and being "politically correct" it's just kind of cool to have everyone stand during the "Hallejuah" chorus- even if they don't know what they are doing- but really honoring the Resurrection and the sacred in that moment.

I told my roommate I'm totally going to make photocopies of the text from my program and make my students identify which book in the Bible which line came from! Yessssssssssss......

Fun Times!

So Isaiah has been my dude this week, as well as Handel. O Antiphons (which we know are my fav!) start today!

I know when the O Antiphons start 'cause it's also my sister's birthday- not just because I am a huge liturgy nerd. My sis is steadily catching up to me and the "dirty, flirty thirty!" One more year!

Happy 29th bday, J!

So let's see: Cookies, Gaudate Sunday, Isaiah, Messiah, O Antiphons...what else...

Oh, yeah. It's Treat YoSelf 2011!

I had a pedicure this week ("Treatyoself")
Happy Hour with a friend ("Treatyoself")
Went to the Kennedy Center ("Treatyoself")

And now imma bout to go OUTLET SHOPPING ("Treatyoself")

It's the best day of the year ("Best day of the year!")

Happy last week of Advent!
Peace,
Julia

There is Hope.

2011-12-09T23:20:00.004-05:00

I just returned from yet another retreat with senior students. God has been calling me to do all kinds of ministry this year it seems, and while it stresses me out at times, I honestly love it. It's what I DO.

This time, the retreat was with another local high school (a school where more than a few of my college friends have taught or teach at!) and our students were there to participate and observe so we can run a similar retreat at our school with our students in the Spring.

Because I have been out of my classroom more than I would have liked this semester, I didn't go for the entire retreat (which is 3-4 days!). I instead taught the first 3 days, then arrived afterschool that evening. The students were gathered to hear the quintessential "forgiveness talk" before Confessions in the chapel of the retreat house when I arrived. I found one of my teacher-friends from college and went and sat with him behind 3 of my students.

They turned around and told me they were having a wonderful time (but that I "had missed the BEST night"- apparently, the night before). I was happy that they were enjoying themselves but I was more just shocked at how everyone in the chapel was SO quiet and prayerful. I had just come from a classroom of lively kids (who i often want to show this video to...I'm the professor...) and these students here were "in the zone". I could tell the past 2 days- and God- had affected them.

The next 24 hours (or less) that I was there, I couldn't help but be positive. As I said, the kids were all so happy to be there, so peaceful, and it was kind of a relief to be with students that WANTED to take 4 days out of their lives, not knowing what they were getting themselves into, and risk. Risk the chance that they may not have a good time or miss out at things at school, and take the risk for God essentially. It gave me hope.

There have been MANY a day/night I am bitter with the road God is taking me on. I look at my classroom or a retreat on a bad day and go: "this is my LIFE. I spend it talking about GOD to TEENAGERS. Gah! WHAT AM I DOING?! AM I getting through?! This is hopeless".

But today, my thoughts at Mass went like this: "This is MY life. I GET to spend it talking about God WITH teenagers. God has blessed me."

Sense more peace in my er, "voice"?

I have been finally surrendering a little bit more to God, giving Him a little more control of my life. And my Advent rosary is certainly helping.

I found myself this week not too tired or angry to want to talk to others and hang out after school. Most days after work- after talking for six + hours straight- I often come home and don't want to look at or speak to ANYONE. I just want SILENCE. But this week, I didn't seem to need that extra introvert time. It certainly wasn't the weather- the weather earlier this week was terrible- I began to wonder, what was it?

Then I recalled I am teaching holiness and virtue, Ignatius and Therese in my classes right now. Kind of hard to be a jerk when you are explaining consolation and desolation four times a day. It definitely makes you think and want to pray.

This Sunday is the THIRD Sunday of Advent already- Gaudate Sunday! We think about the word "joy" this week. And I think I would like to reflect on that joy in light of the HOPE we all have...in one other, in God.

Lastly, I have hope that...

um....

I may become somewhat domestic yet!

"Milky Way Cookie Bars...they look somewhat edible, right?!

My friends host an annual "Holiday Dessert Exchange" and I usually go for the company and mulled wine. However, it is also the ONE TIME A YEAR I attempt to do something in the kitchen. In 2009, I documented it in this blog as well (apparently, our cookie exchange always happens around Gaudate Sunday)

I have definitely upgraded this year from '09's "reindeer poop" to this year's "Milky Way bars" (see above). I begged for easy recipes over Facebook and the Milky Way bars won because they were the easiest. There were a couple moments I found myself vigorously texting my friend who gave me the recipe (to make sure I got it right!) and moment I thought all hope was lost- my batter was really crumbly. I normally would just scream for a roommate to come to my aid and fix the mess I'd gotten myself into, but in this moment I recalled words my Babci (yes, the 89 year old immigrant Polish grandmother who insists I'm too religious and "would just like to see me get marry before she dies already") told me a few years ago when I found myself in the same predicament:

"Add some sour cream to it."

"Um, but Babci, I'm making COOKIES. Do you mean...cream? Whipped cream? Cream cheese?"

"Nope. The sour cream. Put a spoonful in."

I could hear those words echoing in my brain also mixed with the shame I feel each time she mocks me for not cooking enough and ran to the fridge to see if we had some sour cream.

We did. And it worked. Babci saves the day again.

There is hope for me- and for us- yet!

Peace be with you! (proper response? AND WITH YOUR SPIRIT! Just testing...)

Peace,
Julia

Happy New Year! Advent 2011

2011-11-27T16:45:00.004-05:00

The new year is here! I was a little more prepared this year since I had just had spiritual direction last week and the 1st Sunday of Advent had really been hyped up this year due to the NEW TRANSLATION of the Roman Missal.

I have an awesome friend who gave me the strong advice to start singing the phrase "new translation" to the tune of INXS' "New Sensation" whenever someone started complaining about the changes in the Missal- ha! My friends are 80s/liturgical nerds as well.

You're welcome.

I was almost a little nervous to go to my parents' parish this morning for Mass because I wasn't sure how the parish would respond or how they had been prepared for the changes. I shouldn't have really been nervous. The priest and the parishoners did great. I think the hardest part was the "and with your spirit" response, but once we get it down, it's going to be beautiful.

And I absolutely love the new response post-Lamb of God where we articulate the words of the centurion: "Lord I am not worthy to have you enter under my roof, but only say the word and my SOUL shall be healed."

My SOUL shall be healed. LOVE THAT.

The priest gave a really lovely homily on the typical Advent speak: Waiting, Expecting, etc. But he called to our attention the distinction between waiting and expectation.

Waiting tends to be negative. He used the example if a flight gets delayed, we are stuck in traffic, etc. We hate waiting and lose focus of what is expected- namely, the destination, the hope, the joy that awaits us on the other end of what we are waiting for.

I thought this was a nice thought to begin Advent. I get so focused sometimes on celebrating Advent and doing it right, that I lose sight of the joy of Christmas. Or Christmas just creeps up on us, which is why we need the waiting of Advent. I think the priest today was saying to truly use this holding pattern of Advent to focus on the joy that awaits- at Christmas and in heaven.

I actually tend to give even "expectation" a negative connotation sometimes. Alot of us set our expectations in a way that they aren't realistic and then they set us up for disappointment. The beauty of Christmas is that it IS real- there is a real goal of Christ and of heaven. And I remember a sister telling me before I entered the convent to even "expect MORE" from Jesus.

So as I wait for Christmas this year, I want to continue to draw closer to His Sacred Heart and his person (as mentioned in a previous post)and to focus on the reality of that expectation of joy and hope.

I'm also bringing back my Advent resolution of last year to pray the rosary each day. I also bought an Advent wreath since I have a CLASSROOM to put it in and intend to pray each day with my students as we prepare for Christmas.

As we mediate on the waiting and expectation of Christ's birth of Christmas, I think of this song:

Come Thou Long Expected Jesus

A little old school made "new" in honor of the new translation. Man, I'm a nerd!

You love it. Happy Advent!
Peace,
Julia

The Year in Pics 2011

2011-11-27T16:14:00.005-05:00

I did a post before Advent last year with pictures of highlights from that year as I reflected on beginning the new liturgical year. I'd like to do the same with 2011, even though I have NO IDEA where it went! Here are some highlights:

Well, first of all, I became a teacher:

And this led me to Camden, NJ this summer

We lost my Grandma Strukely, but have the hope and blessing of her prayers:

I said goodbye to my old "jinger" roommates and hello to a new, "divine" household:

And 2011 was the year of many significant birthdays...

My Mom's 60th

Many friends turning 30...

...including me!

And started off with the annual Winter retreat and my Spring Break trip to FL!

And no year in my life would be complete without music ministry and a wedding or two:

Stay tuned for my official "Advent"/New Year reflection, but all and all, 2011 was a great year! Bring on 2012!

Happy New Year!
Peace,
Julia

Heaven Isn't Too Far Away

2011-11-20T10:41:00.004-05:00

Yes, that's right. I just used a Warrant lyric as a title for this blog. You're welcome. Here's even a link to the video

Talk of heaven has been the theme for my past week as I taught the Ascension to my students. And now we have upon us the theme of Christ the King today which we celebrate Jesus as the King of Heaven and Earth.

And here's another 80s hit with a heavenly theme

For the record, as much as I LOVED this song growing up, Belinda Carlisle's concept of heaven being a place on earth is not liturgically correct. Heaven HELP US if Heaven is like a place here on a earth.

Also, I never understood the children in masks in that video. Makes heaven seem a little scary, huh? Though, if heaven is a place on earth, I think that would be scary.

That's why it's so great that it's not. We don't know exactly what heaven will be like, but we do know we will be in complete union with God. I know I've mentioned before how my students don't understand how this could be positive. They think it's going to be boring. I keep telling them that getting to just SIT and BE for all eternity sounds AWESOME. They also can't imagine a world without video games, so they worry me a little.

Though today is a great feast in its own right, I was struck yesterday at daily Mass by the Gospel reading:

Some Sadducees, those who deny that there is a resurrection,
came forward and put this question to Jesus, saying,
"Teacher, Moses wrote for us,
If someone's brother dies leaving a wife but no child,
his brother must take the wife
and raise up descendants for his brother.
Now there were seven brothers;
the first married a woman but died childless.
Then the second and the third married her,
and likewise all the seven died childless.
Finally the woman also died.
Now at the resurrection whose wife will that woman be?
For all seven had been married to her."

I was struck because these Sadducees sound like my students. They are posing some very specific questions to Jesus: "Well what if this dude marries this girl, but then HE dies, and then another dude marries her, and then He dies, and then..."

UGH. I HATE the "what if" scenarios my students create just to stump me in class.

The Sadducees are doing the same thing- trying to stump Jesus. Only here's the thing- I'M NOT JESUS. Wait. WHAT? Yeah. I'm not. Glad we cleared that up.

Though, I AM the students' teacher, which is why they pay me the big bucks. (yeah, right). And the people of Jesus' time called Him "Rabbi" and "Master". (Note: my students call me neither of these things).

So lately I have been kind of beating myself up when I DON'T have all the answers for the students. I want them to understand and answer their questions, but the reality is, again, NOT GOD here. Also, Heaven is a MYSTERY to us in a way. But it is a reality that we should want to work towards, so I want to make that message as clear as possible.

God has taken to humbling me this week. I mentioned last post how Mother Nature was perhaps making me a little vulnerable. Well, i don't know if that's still the case or the change in the weather, or the inquisition of students, or just the need for the upcoming Thanksgiving break, but God has been allowing me to be a little vulnerable and broken down this week. And humility is good, because it keeps us close to Him. I just wish it didn't feel so icky at times.

I finally got to have spiritual direction (Yay!) and it was so good. I have been struggling- as is often the case with ministers- to separate my prayer time that's just for ME vs turning it into lesson planning time for my classes. I will go to pray and immediately think of what I can use in a lesson plan or bring to my classes. Lately, I've just needed to be me in front of Jesus. Not Julia the teacher, Just Julia. (no jazz hands, please :).

Our bishop in the Arlington Diocese has been promoting a devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus recently. My spiritual director and I both agreed that we didn't initially understand fully the beauty of this devotion. My roommates and I have been talking about having an image of the Sacred Heart blessed and dedicated in our house, and while I wasn't against it, I guess I didn't understand the need I had in my life for this devotion at this particular time.

At Spiritual Direction, Father shared with me how beautiful the devotion really is- How we can go to the Sacred Heart of Jesus and just allow ourselves to be loved by Him. It sounds so simple, but it is what I needed this week. These past couple of months have been so full of ministry opportunities and I'm so grateful for them, but I've found that I needed to be ministered TO of late. And to just allow the Sacred Heart of Jesus to love me, all going back to that whole concept of being the Beloved.

So Jesus, though breaking me down a little, is doing some good things in my life- drawing me close to Him again after a couple of months of giving a lot in ministry. I think this period of time will be a time of refreshment. We have Thanksgiving coming, up and...omg...ADVENT NEXT WEEK! Our liturgical new year! Time to make some resolutions!

Also, this is the LAST SUNDAY for the "old" Mass translations. Beginning on the 1st Sunday of Advent next week, we will have some NEW responses in the English Mass. I've blogged about this before. I'm a little nervous, little excited in such a ridiculously nerdy way. I'm ready to begin the changes and see what fruit they bring.

That seems to be a theme- a little stepping outside our comfort zone, a little change, to bring about great fruit if we let it.

Heaven isn't too far away, people :) We are working towards it little by little in each of these ways.

Have a blessed Thanksgiving! I know we all have much to be thankful for.

Peace,
Julia

Cursing and Crying

2011-11-08T18:52:00.005-05:00

So I was supposed to have Spiritual Direction today for the first time in I don't know how long and had been somewhat looking forward to it. I had no idea what I was really going to say. I've still been focusing on detachment and spiritual poverty in my prayer, but I haven't really been DOING anything of those things.

My prayer has been there, but it's more like I'm just kind of punching my time card in with Jesus. I will swing by past Adoration before or after the gym and I know that's good and all, but I haven't been actually practicing the spiritual detachment or emptying out myself before God as one of the definitions of spiritual poverty.

(I know because I just gave a test to my students in which spiritual poverty was a vocab word. I also accepted other variations on the definition. I'm a NICE teacher. Sometimes :)

Something came up and Father had to cancel and it really was probably for the best. I took that time to go pray and actually set out to try and do the things I have been SAYING I've been praying about for the past month or so.

I should start by saying I have had a crazy couple of weeks. Nothing bad, just a lot going on at school with the end of the quarter and the non-stop ministry month that was October sneaking into the beginning of November.

I also should start by saying I have been in a somewhat vulnerable state of late. I'm assuming it just begins with a P, ends with an S and has an M in the middle. Sorry if that's TMI for my male readers. It happens.

I had just been having typical mini-moments of "humph" that is affliated with such a state, but today I had the tears. I'm not ashamed to say that because they were just mini-tears and somewhat laughable, but they felt good in a weird way at the same time.

I couldn't remember the last time I had a little emotional teary-eyed moment. It surprisingly did NOT occur when I was babysitting last Saturday and the beautiful child asked me TO PRAY PART OF THE ROSARY with him! This could have ended in ovary explosion (again, sorry for too much detail, boys. Please see this post from earlier this year for further explanation about the somewhat vulgar image).

Anyways, the tears came- as they often do with the P and the M and the S- in a stupid, laughable moment. I was crossing the street and actually playing the voicemail Father had left me saying he had to cancel our appointment. As I'm doing this- crossing IN the CROSSWALK, mind you, with seconds to spare- some jerk lays on his horn and calls me an idiot...FOR WALKING IN THE CROSSWALK.

Being the sass queen that I am and now the proud East Coaster, I let out a little NYC and told him what was what. Namely, that I was IN THE CROSSWALK.

I'm sure you've all had similar experiences in cars (or you know, in other modes of transportation like on foot...) where you just get so ANGRY! And you don't even KNOW the person but you DESPISE them!

This was the case and when I made it to my own vehicle, I sat in the car and I shed a tear. I did.

But the release felt good. And so I continued it before Jesus in the chapel.

It was then I realized I haven't been detaching or emptying or even really PRAYING the way I wanted to. I apologized to Jesus, and then I felt the nudge to look to Scripture. This is what I turned to:

"Jesus Curses a Fig Tree" and the "Cleansing of the Temple"

Cursing and Anger, for the win! :)

The story of Jesus cursing the fig tree seems funny without the bookend of that story. As is common technique for the Gospel writer, Mark, the story of the fig tree has the cleansing of the temple smashed into the middle of the beginning and the end of the fig tree story.

The story begins with Jesus cursing at a fig tree because it didn't have anything on it. Ha! I love Mark's picture of a Sassy Jesus.

After he throws everything around and tells people what's what in the temple, he returns to the fig tree and the fig tree He had cursed is now withered. BAM! Do not mess with the best!

But then Jesus uses the fig tree to teach THIS lesson to his apostles:

"Have faith in God. Amen, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be lifted up and thrown into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it shall be done for him. Therefore I tell you, all that you ask for in prayer, believe that you will receive it and it shall be yours."

And for some reason (we probably all know what reason by now) I cried some more.

Jesus was using his sass to tell us to TRUST Him. This is a language I SPEAK. Also, it spoke to my needing to empty everything out so that there is NO doubt in my heart. DETACHMENT. Detach from the doubt. Detach from going through the motions. Be a little spontaneous. Yell at some fig trees or whatever else might listen :) Be vulnerable.

I like it. Sassy Jesus never lets me down.

I also sang (in my head. I know that's WEIRD but that's what I DO sometimes in prayer. Secret's out) this song that I have always loved and kind of puts me in my place before God (and may or may not get me a little weepy from time to time):

Before You Now, in the beauty of Your Presence
And as I bow, you surround me with Your radiance
I worship, I worship You.
I worship, I worship You.

Before You Now, as your loving arms enfold me
I am in awe of your power and Your glory
I worship, I worship You
I worship, I worship you

I surrender to the call upon my heart
I surrender to Your Passion and desire....

It repeats and it is pretty :) And that is all you get from me today. Enough secrets for one post!

Please pray for another Senior Retreat we are going on tomorrow. I really do pray for these kids and I know your prayers work! Thanks!
Peace,
Julia

The Elephant in the Room

2011-10-25T21:22:00.003-04:00

When I was thinking about what to title this post, I thought of this idiom, but then was confused as to which was the actual, appropriate idiom involving pachyderms because we have many:

pink elephants

white elephant/Yankee Swap/I'm sure I'm missing another name for it...

and the title of this post and the appropriate idiom-

elephant in the room.

(Also, for a good laugh on how ridiculous the English language and our idioms are, check out this. It still makes me giggle every. time.)

So what is the illustrious elephant in the proverbial room of which I speak? It's something I have avoided outright mentioning on this blog because I haven't found it necessary or important enough, but now folks- today is the day I come clean...

I'm single, y'all.

Alright, I may have mentioned it before ,and many of you know me, so it's no big secret. I do feel, though, that talking about singledom is something no one wants to really do. There's a stigma around it for the person and for people in general, I feel. People don't like to say they are single (for the most part) and others are constantly trying to find ways for their single friends not to be any longer.

But what's the big deal? I've had more than a couple newsblogs or mags come across my email with a "single girl" hypothesis attached lately. Articles from the Times, etc all trying to unpack this mysterious single girl enigma.

Shoot, I've even heard talks by priests and theologians say that in not so many words single Catholic women in this generation are kind of screwed (or not so much. poor choice of words on my part. heh).

And I have to admit, I've brought the quandary to God myself since it seems I know many awesomely exceptional single Catholic women, but not as much so in the dude department.

Now, God has ALWAYS sent me the right people at the right time in my life. This would be a SCIENCE FACT (if it had anything to do with science. It doesn't). But I have known it to be true.

Some people ask: how can a loving, awesome God exist or be so awesome if bad things happen? Now, I do not equate a dude shortage with the aformentioned "bad things", but can the same question be applied: How can there be a dude shortage if such an awesome God exists?

Well, we know the former question about bad things happening to be a fallacy and can often be explained to people: God is GOOD. But because of Original Sin, bad things happen. Also, sometimes God allows suffering to draw us closer to Him. Those are the truths.

So the same formula should be applied to dudes. If the first statement that God doesn't exist because bad things happen is FALSE, so then, ergo, hereto, therefore, hence, whathaveyou the latter question must also be FALSE.

To say that there are no good Catholic mens to be had is limiting our God's power and awesomeness. Am I right?! And while it can be true that the surplus of single Catholic gals could also be a result of Original Sin in society, it could also be God uniting us to Himself at this time.

So these articles that I mentioned that are trying to rationalize and justify and proove why so many single women are out there right now, they might have some truth, but I still hold to my truth. My God is great and has always provided.

Then why am I still single? Meh, honestly, I choose it to some extent. I like my SPACE. I like my freedom. And we all know how I feel about small children. I'm not in any rush. So apparently that puts me on the same page as God, and frankly, that's the only place I want to be.

Peace,
Julia

Detachment

2011-10-22T07:12:00.004-04:00

So last post I wrote about ALL of the things. This seems as the appropriate follow-up, then, to talk about having NONE of the things...right?

This past Wednesday I helped to lead a retreat for the seniors at school. I spoke to my sister on the phone later that night and pondered that I couldn't believe I've been attending high school retreats since I was 15- oh, 15 years ago. And the formats and themes of these retreats don't really change. But that's part of what makes them successful.

This past week was a successful senior retreat, I believe, and I pray that the students took their experience and messages to heart.

As I sat at the retreat, though, in small group with the kids or on my own as they got to have Confession and reflection time, I took the experience in- an experience and format I've witnessed SO. MANY. times before- and longed for a "first feeling" like (hopefully) some of the kids were having. You know, the kind of feeling of something NEW. The "Ah-ha!" moment where the light bulb goes off. I knew some of the students were having such an experience for the first time and I longed for one myself.

Even though the experience for me of retreat (particularly a high school one!) has become rote for me in many ways (I've given some of the same talks and testimonies for 8 years now...scary!) I KNOW that God still works through them and I am so grateful. The retreat this week- though pretty basic and familiar- was I know still blessed because we were prayerful and many kids were so open to the Spirit.

Enter the key: Openness.

I talked about this with many of the students in my small group, and this has also been a theme in some of my classes that I teach lately. Kids always want to know why they don't FEEL or SEE God. Many times the answer is: we aren't open to Him.

Some pics from the retreat:

Students in small groups presenting images of blessing (above) and my colleague giving a talk (below):

I my Paschal Mystery class, we've been focusing on the humanity of Christ and why he had to been born into poverty. This brings up the issue of money, the story of the Rich Man in the Gospel (Matt. 19:16-24), and spiritual poverty. We read a quote from Mother Teresa that says SOMETHING along the lines of (though I am paraphrasing): "I think it is more difficult for the wealthy to make room for God." And I asked the kids to agree or disagree with that statement. I got answers on both sides, of course.

But it brought up the issue of spiritual poverty and that no matter what- rich or poor- spiritual poverty asks us to make enough room in our hearts for God. If we are consuming our lives with ALL of the other things, that doesn't leave much room for Him. Spiritual poverty is emptying ourselves out for God and recognizing He IS God and we are not.

Hearing my students talk about emptying ourselves out to make room for God and being open to things God might be revealing to us convicted me this week. As I said at the beginning, I have been praying for one of those "Aha" moments, which I know will look different at 30 than it did at 16, 22, 26, etc...I have already experienced many of the things! But I can always approach these ideas in new OR familiar ways (the beauty of getting older- experience ;)

Am I even being open or empty enough for God to enter my life in new ways? Last week, I wrote about ALL of the things and they weren't bad things, but what are my priorities right now, even if they are good ones? And does it include making time for God and being open to His designs?

This leads, then, to detachment. For so long, I've longed for that feeling I felt when I was discerning religious life and much of that feeling came from the detachment and letting go of various parts of my life. I've even spoken more recently about feeling like I want to sacrifice something because of this.
But as my spiritual director pointed out then, we don't just go around making sacrifices for no reason. They are things we bring to prayer and are well thought out.

Detachment, however, is something we can practice more regularly, I think, and is similar to sacrifice. We just remove ourselves a little from some of the things we might love or desire in order to make more room for the Lord. We let go of ideas or thoughts that keep us from being open to Him.

St. Teresa of Avila- from whom I'm still reading pieces of "The Way of Perfection"- also convicted me on this idea of detachment this week.

She was talking about how in religious life, detachment is easy to an extent because many of the things are removed already for them. This is something, perhaps, that I miss ( at times. let's not get too crazy ;)

"With regard to small things, we must be very careful, as soon as we grow fond of them, to withdraw our thoughts from them and turn to God. His Majesty will help us do this. He has granted us that great favor of providing that, in this house, most of it is done already, but it remains for us to become detached from our own selves, and it is a hard thing to withdraw from ourselves and oppose ourselves because we are very close to ourselves and love ourselves very dearly. It is here that humility can enter, for this virtue and that of detachment from self, I think, always go together."

"For this body of ours has one fault: the more you indulge it, the more things it discovers to be essential to it. It is extraordinary how it likes being indulged; and, if there is any reasonable pretext for indulgence, however little necessity for it there may be, the poor soul is taken in and prevented from making progress..."

These truth-isms struck me this week and I've begun to think and pray about some thoughts and behaviors I can detach from- with the goal of making more room for an 'Aha' moment, or close moment with God.

Today is one of my dear friends from my women's group birthday today! She points out on her blog that this year she is sharing her day with the NEWLY "Blessed" John Paul II! It's his new feast day!

You may know him as the Pope we had from 1978-2005, I know him as the only Pope I ever had (until 6 years ago) and also as the guy my Babci has in a frame hanging in her kitchen (and in practically every corner of her house...only Polish pope! Holler!)

While I actually (surprisingly) enjoy reading Benedict's encyclicals more, John Paul II was very prolific and gave us many documents on ecumenism (traveling and other religions/cultures were so important to him- he was the most traveled pope!) as well as the Theology of the Body which we are starting to see the fruits of now.

Blessed John Paul II, pray for us! That we may be OPEN and empty ourselves out to receive all God has for us...like you did.

Yeah, for Slavs! ha! ;)

Peace,
Julia

(F)All of the Things

2011-10-11T18:09:00.012-04:00

See what I did there?

Sometimes on this blog you get a rambling of my spiritual life or spiritual musings. Other times, you get life updates. Sometimes you get both.

Sometimes you get ALL OF THE THINGS.

This post will be the latter because it has only been a couple weeks into fall and I have already done ALL OF THE THINGS- ministerially and autumn-ly speaking.

Let's start with ministry, shall we? Last week was a big week. 1st) we had our annual all-school liturgy with the Bish. I have grown accustom to playing and accompanying Masses for His Excellency, so it was nbd (but really always kind of a big deal).

2.) I was invited to give a talk on MEDIA and using it in ministry to a group of youth ministers...fancy that! I think it went pretty well. I gave some quotes from Church documents that I've used in past papers to prove that the Church is all about the use of media for evangelization (Inter Mirifica, Evangelii Nuntiandi, Gaudium et Spes, etc) As well as some activities I've used in my classroom or at the parish. I also spoke about SEMIOTICS for all you Media Studies nerds out there. Holler!

Here's a pic a friend took on her cell from my talk- there was no place to put the mic pack, so they stuck it on my boot. Classic Julia:

3.) Later that week, I attended a liturgy workshop to learn about the new translation of the Mass that we are going to start using beginning the 1st Sunday of Advent. I had heard about the changes for a while and knew some of what was changing, but not all. And I- like many people- did not understand why. I wanted to make sure (especially as a religion teacher and music minister!) that I had some solid knowledge to share with the kids.

I could email you my outlines of notes that I took (LITURGY NERD!) but I will simply give you the highlights that I've already shared with my classes as well as these two helpful video links:

From Life Teen ( a popultar Youth Ministry resource and movement in the Church): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ue4GaotluU4

From Spirit and Song- our music publisher that we use at school and for youth events in the Diocese: http://www.spiritandsong.com/Joyful_heart

There is an obnoxious radio show here on my Top 40 station that gives "5 Things you Need to Know" in the morning. If I were to give "5 Things You Need to Know" about the New Mass Translation, it would be:

1.) just the English speaking countries are being affected. The Spanish, French, etc. translations are fine as is 'cause they did it right the first time. This new translation will actually bring us closer to the Spanish, etc translations. For example, We now say "And also with you" when the priest says, "The Lord be With you". The actual translation from Latin is (and will now be) "and with your Spirit." The Spanish already says "y con tu espiritu"

2.) the changes will bring back a sacredness or mystery to the Mass. I know that "and with your Spirit" is not how we TALK. And that's why they changed it to such in the 60s to be more colloquial, but some of the translation also lost of some its sacred, mysterious meaning. Yes, the 60s translation is more casual, but the new translation does put us in the mindset that we are in Church and there is something deeper going on.

3.) The new translation will also help catechize. For example, saying something as simple as "and with your Spirit" teaches a whole bunch of things! That the Holy Spirit is present and will descend upon the Eucharist through the priest, etc...

4.) The changes are more connected to Scripture. For example: "Glory to God in the Highest and on earth peace to people of good will" is what the angel ACTUALLY SAYS to the shepherds in Luke's Gospel. Though it definitely will be weird to sing after singing the other words for so long!

5.) The new language may seem more exclusive (ie- changing "We" to "I" in the creed and changing "all" to "many" in the Eucharistic prayer) but it again teaches us theologically that yes, we are all saved but we still have to be accountable for our actions and do what is right to help get us to heaven. The Scripture just last Sunday was about the heavenly banquet and how many were invited but few actually showed...

Anyways, if you have other questions, you can leave a comment or tweet me! :) @julz422 @MsStrukely

Speaking of Twitter, a dear friend of mine recently tweeted the following to me:

" @julz422 What in the world has gotten into you? Did someone shove a cornucopia into your heart or invade your soul with decorative gourds?"

This was after I had tweeted the following:

"Maybe I do just want to live on a farm in VA"

I JUST LOVE FALL THINGS! (And HATE winter things. Ugh...) And I got to do many of these favorite things this weekend.

So after a week full 'o' ministry I had a nice, long Columbus Day weekend. I started it off by hanging out in a field in VA celebrating 2 of my friends who got engaged (each to different dudes- that makes 4 engaged people at this party to celebrate!)

You're welcome for the math help.

It was super fun. Here is a pic of me and some of my friends celebrating:

So being out in the field was fall and festive. So was the yummy seasonal beer.

I got my lesson planning out of the way on Sunday so on Monday I could do more of the fall and festive. Apple picking and wine tasting!!

CHECK OUT THE GOURDS! (for those of you unfamiliar with my seeming obsession with decorative gourds, you should know that there is a HIGHLY INAPPROPRIATE but kind of hilarious McSweeney's article on "decorative gourds" that my friends and I recite to one another annually...)

Also, we know that I am NOT the Martha Stewart that many of my roommates tend to be, so I often lovingly mock them for the decorative gourds they distribute throughout our house to announce the arrival of fall...

GOURDS!!!

My friend picking apples...

Fall can now end because I have done all of these things. JUST KIDDING! I DON'T WANT IT TO! I LOVE FALL!!!

So that's what I've been up to!

Peace,
Julia

Where You At?

2011-09-27T18:55:00.004-04:00

It seems like forever since I've blogged, but yet it's only been a couple weeks. And at the same time, I feel like time has flown. Oh, the never ending quandary of time. Where has it been, yet where does it go? I found myself saying to God before I sat down to pray today: "I'm going to be real glad when it's eternity and we don't have to worry about TIME all the (er) time." For reals.

My students always think heaven sounds like it's going to be real boring, but that's because (well, it's because of a lot of things...) but I think it's just because they have yet to appreciate the beauty of NOT running around and just getting to BE.

We all know God can take us whenever He wants us, and for some it seems like they go too soon, but my guess is He in His infinite wisdom will take us when He knows we are ready to just sit and BE for all eternity...and that is looking better and better as we get older and more tired...am I right? :)

So amid the flurry of the lesson planning, weekend trips, and grad school research, I stopped to ask myself today: "Where am I at with God? What's He doing in my life right now?"

You would think I would be asking myself this everyday! I do take time everyday to at least give God a shout out, but last week I found myself just wanting to SIT with Him for a LONG time and I hadn't DONE that in a while.

So go ahead, I'll wait :) Ask yourself: "What is God doing in my life right now? How is He working?" and "Where am I at with my goals for our relationship, spiritual life, etc."

(Can you tell I am in need of my women's prayer group right about now?? ;) Ladies, where you at?! We would meet once a month and ask ourselves these questions, but it has been waayyyyyy too long! Hopefully, we will re-commence soon.

Well, I can, of course, speak for myself and say that I need to be spending more time with God's word to figure out what He is saying to me. A couple blog posts ago, it was clear He was speaking to me through the book "He and I" which was totally what I needed at that moment. Today, when reading Scripture, I was reading from my fav Gospel writer- Sassy Mark ;)- about the father who wanted demons cast out of his son. He says to Jesus, "Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief" (Mark 9:24).

And I think this perfectly sums up where I am with God right now. It seems like a contradiction of terms: how can the dude BELIEVE yet be asking Christ to help with His unbelief?

But that verse makes sense to me at this moment 'cause I think I'm there. I'm believing and things are GOOD, but if everything was smooth sailing I wouldn't be struggling to take time in prayer and all that jazz, right? So, I do believe, Lord. Help me in the areas where I am still struggling.

That's kind of all I got right now, but that's enough, I guess. I was reading Teresa of Avila's "Way of Perfection" and stopped last month because it didn't feel like the right time to read it. I picked it up again today and the chapters 6 & 7 on love seem to be what I need to hear right now, so praise God for that.

I'll share with you a little of her stuff from Chap 7 on true love in true friends:

...to get to know God's friends is a very good way of 'having' Him...For, under the Lord, I owe it to such persons [friends]that I am not in hell; I was always very fond of asking them to commend me to God, and so I prevailed upon them to do so... - Way of Perfection, Teresa of Avila

With that, pray for me friends! Until next time...

Peace,
Julia

Remembering 9/11 on the 10th Anniversary

2011-09-11T16:00:00.005-04:00

I'm sure there is no coincidence that the 10th Anniversary of 9/11 fell on a Sunday. 9/11 is, of course, one of those dates that we will forever reflect upon and Sunday is a God-given day for reflection.

Today is a day when we ask one another: "Where were you when....?" Along with our parents' "I was doing ______ when I found out JFK had been shot" or perhaps even our grandparents' "I was _______ when Pearl Harbor was bombed." It's a day when everyone remembers exactly where they were when.

Prior to 9/11, the only thing my generation had as an approximate equivalent was perhaps the Oklahoma City Bombing. I remember being in 8th grade and being asked to stand next to my desk for a moment of silence as we watched the names of all those children who had died scroll across the TV.

As the anniversary approached, many people started to ask the question and reflect on: "where were you during 9/11?" I met a friend for coffee on Friday who happened to be my Campus Minister at CUA ten years ago and we discussed where we were that day. We were both on campus during 9/11. I was in my junior year Media seminar. She was working in Campus Ministry.

I remember my professor stopping class and pulling up the article on the internet that announced that one of the towers at the World Trade Center had been hit. I had just been to the World Trade Center for the first time almost exactly one year prior with some friends who showed me around NYC. There was an image along with the article up on screen that will always, of course, be etched in my mind. There it was: a plane dangling out of the middle of the World Trade Center building.

Classes were cancelled and I walked down towards the campus ministry office. As I walked, I was stopped by an acquaintance who asked me: "did you hear the Pentagon was hit too?" I shook my head. I hadn't heard, but it was also in disbelief.

Then I remember being afraid for the first time during this day. The Pentagon was far enough from Catholic U, but what if people were going to try and hit the Capitol building which was only 2-3 miles away? We would, of course, find out later that this was indeed part of the plan, had not some brave men and women crashed the plane in PA to save the nation's capitol.

I met the priest I was close with at Campus Ministry and he asked me if I would help spread the word about a Mass the university was going to put together with the President of the University and Cardinal McCarrick. I said I would. My parents tried to call me while I was running around distributing flyers. When I returned to my room in the middle of the day, I had voice messages on the answering machine (pre-cell phone!) from my parents, my sister, and one of my best friends who lived in KY wondering where I was and if I was alright.

I went to the Mass and then I went to a place on campus called "The House" where some of my friends lived. I remember sitting with one of my best friends, watching the news as the second tower just crumbled. I couldn't believe I was watching it happen live on TV. I tried to block out images of what I knew were people jumping from the building. I just held my breath and prayed.

It was a sunny, beautiful day weather wise. I remember wearing a T-shirt and jeans (a rarity for me, come to think of it! I'm not a T-Shirt and jeans kind of girl, as we know ;). The weather was similar to that of today as I now sit in my t-shirt and mesh shorts having just come from the gym, lesson planning in my own classroom ten years later.

This 10th anniversary of Sept. 11th comes literally after seven days and seven nights of rain here in the District. We have had recent hurricanes and earthquakes, and school was even cancelled on Friday because of flooding in the NoVa area. Looking at images and articles on Facebook made me paranoid that this could be the end of the world, especially with the anniversary of 9/11 coming. This is, of course, a paranoid point-of-view and not the way to live as Christians. We have Christ as our hope to trust in.

I expected there to be some kind of memoriam before, during, or after Mass today. I did not expect, however, for the Church to do a Requiem Mass. I had read the readings for today and they were all about forgiveness. Perfect messages for an anniversary such as this, I thought.

When I walked into my parish, I should have known something was up. The veil that usually is white which lays across the tabernacle was purple today- a penitential color. I knew it wasn't Advent or Lent, so there had to be some reason for it! (I love that our Church gives us cues- we can tell there's going to be something special going on from the vestments the priest wears, liturgical colors, etc. I also LOVE in a ridiculous liturgy-nerd way that our parish lays a veil over the tabernacle to begin with, but that's another blog for another time ;)

Father processed in wearing the black garments that I had taught my students about, but never actually seen for myself. There are very few occasions on which black vestments are worn. Even the funerals I've been to have been white, purple, or green vestments depending on the priest and parish.

The readings were from Lamentations, Psalm 23, Paul's Letter to the Romans, and John's Gospel of Jesus as "the Way, the Truth, and the Life." And while I was disappointed to not have the original readings for the day proclaimed on forgiveness, these certainly provided messages of comfort and hope.

The Mass ended in silence with no recessional hymn, but silence and four bell tolls which I thought was pretty powerful. I never ceased to be amazed at the power of silence.

As I drove to the gym and school this afternoon to complete my post-Mass Sunday routine of workout and lesson planning disciplines respectively, I forgot that I would be going past the Pentagon. Traffic was a little backed up because the Pentagon had provided additional police today. Security was heightened around the district this weekend, as you can imagine. Cars were no doubt stopping to see if anything was being done around the Pentagon today to commemorate the event. There wasn't anything that I could see, but I saw the large flag placed on the side of the building where the plane had crashed and I remembered.

Thank you for indulging me in this reflection. You all know I'm not a particularly patriotic person, but I am a reflective one :) And there is no doubt that this event affected us each deeply, regardless of faith or politics.

The hymn we sang at Mass today was the same one we sang at the Mass I helped to spread the word about 10 years ago:

"O God our Help in Ages Past, our hope for years to come,
Our shelter from the stormy blast,
And our eternal home."

We will never forget. And we should always remember our hope in Christ, especially on days like this.

Peace,
Julia

Back to School, Back to the Beloved

2011-09-07T21:21:00.004-04:00

And Back to the Blog!

So, I totally just wrote my spiritual director an email and used these words: "Is there a time we can meet? I'M SURPRISINGLY NOT BUSY THIS MONTH."

Can you believe those words were uttered by a TEACHER?! In SEPTEMEBER?!

Ah, but I'm a SECOND YEAR teacher now, folks! And it makes a WORLD of difference, let me tell you.

(I also cannot say enough about how much I love having my own classroom! Teaching six classes last year in five different classrooms suuuucked and I knew that. I guess I didnt' realize how much so until now when I GET TO TEACH IN THE SAME PLACE ALL DAY EVERYDAY. I AM VERY EXCITED. CAN YOU TELL?)

So since my return to the classroom has been less stressful this year I can turn my eyes to greater things, right? Sure! Like in the first reading today:

"Brothers and sisters:
If you were raised with Christ, seek what is above...
Think of what is above, not of what is on earth - Col. 3:1-2

I have been trying to keep to my summer routine as much as I can: gym, prayer, research paper, rinse, repeat. So today I headed to Adoration after work to take me some prayer time.

I remembered that I had been all about focusing on "the Beloved" BACK IN JUNE. WHICH WAS NOW THREE MONTHS AGO. What the?!

How did I forget to delve into that concept? How did I fail to make that a part of my prayer for MONTHS!? Where did the summer gooooooo????

Whenever I get real angry A.) it's usually because I haven't had coffee yet. MANY people can attest to this and you can rectify the situation by GIVING ME SOME. or 2.) I use THIS as my go to book to calm me down and re-discover the "warm fuzzies":

Tonight I opened up to a passage I marked a little over three years ago. It was (not surprisingly) exactly what I need to hear today. I'm not going to include the exact passage 'cause it's gonna make me sound like I was all depressed or something when I went to the chapel but that's NOT the case. I'm not sitting at home crying playing R.E.M. all day...things are GOOD, remember? But I was having a MOMENT. Sometimes I do that. Anyways...

If you are unfamiliar with the book "He and I" 1.) it is AWESOME. B.) It is written by a lay woman but it's her journal with the words of Jesus. ("She writes what Jesus speaks to her" is a less awkward way of saying that ;).

So as not to seem like I'm one step away from ordering a bunch of cats to keep me company, I'm going to give you some OTHER examples OTHER than what I read tonight- (even if it was PERFECT and what I needed) from "He and I" that are very uplifting:

January 10- Holy Hour
"Don't you love this hour when we come close to one another in such intimacy that My thoughts seem to be yours? It's as though our souls were one inside the other. And how can My joy be described? The joy of your Christ who yearns so much for oneness with His children that He invented the Eucharist in order to merge with them..."

Awww, Jesus! I'm blushing!

"Wake up loving Me. Hunt for Me, and I'll let Myself be caught. You will win and we will begin the game again...it will be another way for Me to keep you 'very close'..."

So sweet!

And...

"April 23- Even though you don't always feel Me beside you, I never leave you. Sometimes I come nearer...I hide behind a veil so that you may learn to walk by faith..."

What a charmer! You can hopefully see why this book never ceases to make me leave the chapel feeling peaceful and loved. So I'm picking it up again as I RE-focus on "the Beloved" these days.

Speaking of going back to things...Back to School night is tomorrow. I pretty much remember it being the worst thing ever last year. Not because of parents or anything but who likes the idea of teaching all day, then going BACK to school from 7-10pm, only to teach AGAIN the next day ALL day. WHO likes this idea, I ask?

Ah, but I can't complain. I gots my own classroom this year and my warm & fuzzy "He and I" book and that makes everything kind of better right now.

Peace,
Julia

Things Could Be Worse! Take it from an Old Testament Girl...

2011-08-18T13:10:00.008-04:00

Did anybody else read today's readings and react something along the lines of:
"WHAAAA?!! the WHAT?!"

'Cause I did. And apparently I'm not the only one who thought they were blogworthy either.

Didn't read the readings for today? Don't worry, I won't judge. I'll just wait while you go ahead and read the links I posted above.

Go ahead. I'll wait :)

......

......

Not gonna read 'em? Eh, it's okay. I'll sum 'em up for ya. Just a *disclaimer* though, that my interpretation may not be entirely scripturally accurate.

SO there's this Judge Jephthah (yeah, I know. How many H's can be in one name, right?) and he apparently is trying to make a deal with God. This is probably his first mistake. Didn't he learn from Moses and Abraham that bartering with God is probably not a good idea? Remember Abraham's nephew Lot? Abraham tried to bargain for him too. His wife still turned to salt.

This is apparently Lot's Wife according to Google Image...

So Jephthah's all: "if you let me beat the Ammonites I will offer a human sacrifice to you. Whoever comes through the door next, that sucker's YOURS."

Okay, we'll see King Saul also ready to make crazy deals for these Ammonite people, so I get that they are a real hassle for the Israelites at this point in time. However, HUMAN SACRIFICE?! And God is gonna GO for it?

Not only does God go for it, friends, but he pulls a Job and the next person who walks through the door after Jephthah makes his little prayer is, of course, HIS ONE AND ONLY DAUGHTER. Cue the soap opera music!

(ps- speaking of Soap Operas, I was watching 90210 the other day on Soap Net BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I DO WHEN I HAVE ONE WEEK OF SUMMER LEFT and Sophie B. Hawkins "Damn, I Wish I was Your Lover" was the jam looped over Dylan and Kelly's summer shennanigans. You know, the time Brenda was in Paris and they cheated? Oh. So. Good.)

ANYWAYS so, Jephthah sacrifices his only daughter! His only child! But not before she "mourns her virginity". Oh, sister. Only adding insult to injury there. Her daddy's gonna kill her and she KNOWS and then she's also gotta go sulk about how she's gonna die before ever having sex. Truly depressing. For reals.

So, I'm sitting in this chapel, looking for my daily inspiration and this is what I'm getting. I try to look on the bright side: Is Jephthah's daughter kind of like Isaac in some way? Isaac was a prefigurement of God offering His Only Son for us later in the New Testament. A "type of Christ". But if I know how the Old Testament is written- and I'm slowly learning- I'm guessing a woman wouldn't be given such weight. And anyway, Abraham doesn't end up actually killing his one and only son. We are told Jephthah's daughter: "...returned to her father,
who did to her as he had vowed." Judges 11: 39a Yikes!!

Thankfully, the Church in her infinite wisdom pairs this reading with Psalm 40 which says: "Here I am, Lord; I come to do your will.
Sacrifice or oblation you wished not,
but ears open to obedience you gave me.
Burnt offerings or sin-offerings you sought not;
then said I, "Behold I come."

Phew! Okay, so God doesn't just want us to offer our firstborns because I was beginning to detect a trend....

You know that I have been wondering what kind of things God is asking me to sacrifice right now in my life, so this reading threw me off a little today. But the Psalm does reaffirm that the CORRECT thing to do is just to be open and say: "Here I Am, Lord" and trust that THAT is what He wants from us.

PS- every image I googled of Jephtah's Daughter showed a really beautiful image of a young girl. Sucks...

Peace,
Julia

Summer of Service

2011-08-13T14:47:00.010-04:00

Okay, I've decided: I officially love summer.

People asked me at the beginning of this summer: "what are you going to do with your time off this summer? Are you going to take classes? Travel?" I had plans to do neither and I felt almost like I wasn't doing summer right or something by not planning a big vacation to an exotic place or taking a summer course. I would respond: "I'm just going to experience my first summer off as a teacher in a normal way. Doing normal stuff."

And here I am- my last week before having to return to school as a second year teacher. Did I use my summer well?? Let's see:

- trip home to see family was on my list, so check and check.
- help with Diocesan Workcamps: check and check.
- work a little on my research project for fall: (um, VERY little...) but check.

What was left on the list was to spend a little time actually doing "summer stuff" like swimming/outdoorsy things and going on the weeklong service trip with high school students that I had signed up for back when school was in session and I somehow didn't realize I was already helping with TWO major youth ministry/service things this summer. Hmmmmm.

Needless to say, I wasn't super stoked to go on this service trip to Camden after I had already spent 20 days of summer doing youth ministry/service-ish stuff. But more about my trip to Camden in a bit.

After the second week of camp I did get some time off (which I blogged about) and the weekend before I left for youth ministry/service trip #3, I spent some time with- wouldn't you know it- more ministry folk. This time in the form of teens who are no longer really teens but now YOUNG ADULTS that used to be in the youth group I ministered to years ago (did that make sense? Basically, I hung out with some kids who I used to minister to and they are now adults)

It was another great example of how this summer turned into being the summer of ministry/episode of "this is your life" that I didn't intend for it to be, but was so grateful for. It was fun to just hang out with these young people kind of as their peer and no longer have to be their authority-type figure. It was also cool to see the awesome young people they have turned out to be! I was humbled by the experience.

Almost as humbled as I would be about Service Trip #3. But first, I also finally got a chance to do some summery things before that fateful trip...kayaking on the Potomac!:

Some friends and I took a morning before I left for Camden to take kayaks from Georgetown to Roosevelt Island. It was a quick trip, but enough to check off my "do something outdoorsy" box on my summer checklist.

Now, for the check I totally didn't expect to have this summer: reality check.

As you clearly have learned from this and other posts: I've done service ministry trips before. I've been on them myself in college and I've led them for teens. I didn't think much for signing up to lead another one- this time, with students who are from the school where I teach.

I knew a couple of the students who were going, but not many. It ended up being 15 teens, two other adults and myself heading up to Camden, NJ for the week.

I've been to parts of Philly and NJ plenty of times since I've been on the East Coast. I have many friends from the area. And most of those friends gave me a warning about Camden when I told them I was going there for a week. So I knew the situation in Camden was going to be bad, but I still didn't really know what I was in for.

I've witnessed poverty and homelessness much in my life. I've been to third world countries, I've lived in an urban area, and the place where my family calls home and where I was basically raised IS an industrial area that is slowly turning demographically. So I thought I knew what I was going to see in Camden and I didn't expect to be changed too much by it.

I still don't know if I am "changed", but it definitely inspired me to be the girl I was moreso in college- constantly serving and mindful of those physically and monetarily poor.

As I've become more involved in youth ministry, there is no doubt I feel called to work with the spiritually poor. But in that, I've allowed myself to become comfortable in this area in which I serve- aka Northern VA. Taking a bunch of Northern VA kids to Camden, NJ was a really eye opening experience in that it once again made me realize how entitled we really do feel, how convenient our lives are, and that we take SO much for granted.

I know this all sounds so trite. I wish I could take you through the streets of Camden that really are like being in a third world, when one of the richest towns in the U.S. is 10 minutes away. But I can't, so here are some pictures:

I was reminded much of my time in Guatemala when I was there, in both good and bad ways. "Good" in that the people (though many addicted to drugs, therefore keeping them in poverty) were friendly and grateful for our help. Like the poor I met in Guatemala, their poverty allows them to reach outside of themselves and make connections with people much more easily than those of us who surround ourselves with material things.

"Bad" in that, well, Guatemala is third world and still battling recent civil unrest and war. Camden is in one of the richest states in one of the richest countries in the world. The fact that Camden had that third world feel is what probably rocked my world the most.

Since I can't possibly describe my week in one blog post, I will just give you some snapshots:

- filling bags of food on the first day there to distribute to the homeless and hungry made me think about how we take food and meals for granted. We can have as much as we want, whenever we want. Here, I was filling a very limited bag with limited canned goods that was to last a family for a week.

(picture of us unloading some food donations alongside the homeless who will receive it)

- the reality of drug addiction was in our faces- from the syringes we came across in our clean-up work to the people we met. One morning, some of us went to a shelter hoping to talk to some of the homeless and hear their stories. The reality of what we encountered was people falling asleep at their places during breakfast or babbling incoherently. This was tough for some of the kids who just wanted to share a cheery conversation, but is the reality of drugs for many.

- spending time in community as a group. We had to make meals for ourselves and it was good for the kids to have to be resourceful and build community with meals. We did not have the luxury of just stopping by Starbucks or McDonalds when they wanted a snack, and for many of them, this was difficult. It was good for me to remember that we shouldn't take our resources for granted.

- the typical teenager "clique-merging" that you pray for to happen and eventually does if you work for it. We had many a nights spent laughing playing cards or catch phrase together as a community.

(some pics of the kids hanging out to celebrate a birthday and do goofy things as a community while we were there)

- prayer together. We got to reflect each night together on our experiences, and I always looked forward to hearing what the kids took away from the work that we did.
One of the most powerful nights of prayer that we had- for me- was a night that Father said Mass in the Cathedral (Camden is actually its own Diocese) and it was just our group by candlelight.

( our reflection during Mass at the Cathedral)

Perhaps the most moving moment for me, though, was on our last Workday. After three days of working hard at homeless shelters, food pantries, and cleaning up the streets of Camden, we took a break from our routine and was given a guided tour of "Tent City".

(pictures of us speaking with residents of Tent City)

First of all, the guide for our tour was Kenny. Kenny has been homeless himself. He just recently obtained his own housing and is working for the service group- De Sales Service Works- which we were volunteering with. The priest in charge of the program employs him now to work with volunteers. I was blessed to have a couple one on one conversations with Kenny and I found him to be an amazingly devoted and concerned man. He was so concerned about taking care of our group and making sure our students were not led astray in any way while we were in Camden.

So Kenny leads us into Tent City- a little community of homeless living in tents. I thought I had experienced the homeless before. But as soon as those who greeted us (so warmmly, I may add) started speaking, I started to tear up.

This woman- Gina- began speaking passionately to us about the dangers and realities of drugs. Though our students have heard over and over again "Don't do drugs. Stay in school" I was moved- almost FOR them- at the reality of her message. She meant it. She was living proof, sadly, of the pain of addiction.

My eyes started tearing as she spoke, and then one of my most beautiful memories of the trip occurred. Kenny, from across the circle, caught my eye and saw me tearing. He immediately started moving over to me, reaching in his pockets for a tissue. Meanwhile, one of my students who I am actually an advisor to, reached to give ME a hug. By the time Kenny got over to me, I was truly in need of a tissue and he took out a folded up paper towel with his own medication in it, removed the pill, and handed me the piece of towel. It was quite a moment. Here I was- the one who has been doing all this "ministering" being ministered TO by the very people I was supposed to be serving!

I thought that moment would be the peak, and it was, but we continued to talk to the residents of Tent City- one whom we had met at the shelter I mentioned. He was one we actually DID speak with, and I remember being struck by how sharp and intelligent he seemed. I didnt' quite understand why a man seemingly so smart would reside in a place like Tent City. I know that sounds bad. But he had spoken of children who are in college and I thought, "if you're children can get out of poverty, why can't you?" I'm assuming he is addicted to drugs, which is the sad reality our other friendly resident of Tent City- Gina- was speaking so passionately about.

(picture of me speaking with David earlier in the week at the Cathedral)

Anyways, David is the man's name who we encountered both at the shelter and Tent City and HE remembered ME from the shelter earlier in the week. He pulled over his girlfriend who is living with him and said, "this is 'Teacher'". He didn't remember my name, but remembered me as the teacher. It was kind of moving to me since i have been trying to grapple with that new role in my life. His girlfriend asked me what I taught and when I said "religion" she immediately claimed Jesus as her Lord and Savior. She kept telling me, "I know He will provide" which is the same prayer I have been telling myself all these years. I left crying a little bit more when I realized she and I were not only praying to the same God, but the same prayer though, of course, for different reasons. She left giving ME a hug and I promised her and Gina that we are united in prayer- which we truly are. So amazing.

Sigh. So thank you for your prayers for the Camden trip. It truly was one of the unexpected highlights of my summer. It enouraged me as I prepare to go back to teach this fall and also helped me continue to ponder the "sacrifices" I wish to make (as I mentioned last week)in my for Christ as His Beloved.

I'm looking forward to one last awesome week of summer!

Oh! To learn a little more about the situation in Camden, you can watch this special which we watched while we were there.
Peace,
Julia

-

Giving From Our Surplus?!

2011-08-04T23:18:00.004-04:00

Oooo...y'all are getting a two-fer this week! Somebody must be reaaalll relaxed (pssst...it's me! ;)

I've had all of the time to just DO stuff this week (though still haven't really gotten to that grad research- DON'T TELL!) and when I saw my friends out last weekend after a week + of Workcamp Part 2, and they were all like, "Julia! You look great!" I haven't been doing much of anything, as we all know, so it must be just the fact that I'm RELAXED that I'm looking/feeling good!

And with all of that time comes time for prayer! Which also helps.

I had me some spiritual direction yesterday which was so good and helpful. I've been praying about how to be Christ's Beloved in a different way since moving out of the convent and into the next phase of my life (30s!).

Father made some good points to me yesterday about how being the Beloved is not just about receiving love, but also giving it as well. Making some kind of sacrifice to show our love to our Beloved.

Again, with religious life, the sacrifice one is asked to make is clear. Even the past two years where I struggled to find a job in ministry was a sacrifice I was able to offer up and unite with Christ.

But in this time of surplus, of consolation- what can I offer and give to the Beloved?

It's SUMMER. Things are GOOD. I'm relaxed. I gots a new house, rocking community, job that I love, directed research with a prof...I've always heard that we should "give from our need" but is it okay to give from the surplus??? I feel like I have an abundance right now!

I think- regardless of where we are spiritually, physically, emotionally- God just wants 2 things: 1.) That we are using our gifts for Him in some way 2.) allowing Him permission to do whatever He wants with where we are at.

So, for example, discerning religious life, I was like: "Here. It's all yours. Take my job that I like, my cool outfits, my future, my talents- do with it whatever you would like."

I just kind of figured out today that I can say that now too! Though it seems kind of an unfair advantage since I AM giving from a surplus, instead of a need. But I can still say: "It's all yours. The job I like, my cool outfits, my future, my talents- do whatever you would like."

So while I am praying about what kind of sacrifice God might be asking me to make at this point in my life, Father emphasized that God will make it clear. So not to worry. I think what God does want right now is that permission to do whatever He wants with all that He's given me and my trust that He does all things well.

St. Ignatius has also been a help to me as I am in this time of consolation (Discernment of Spirits! Get it!) because the devil wants to be all up in the mix. I'm not sure which rule # it is, but one of the rules of consolation/desolation: "Don't stray from your plan." If you have a plan to go and take an hour in prayer, using xyz to pray- don't let no one talk you out of it! Devil's gonna wanna jump all over it! That's definitely been a temptation for me of late since things ARE so good it's like, 'oh, I don't gots to pray...things are Good!' WRONG. Don't listen! Stick to the plan!

Also, in times of consolation we are to kind of have a plan for when we are back in times of desolation. So, for example, I know my summer days are numbered (sniff!) So how am I going to plan on praying when my time is shorter and I'm more stressed? I gots to plan ahead!

Anyways, these were some of the thoughts I thought to share after my prayer today. Please pray for my upcoming trip to Camden as it will be a step outside my comfort zone- not knowing what to expect from the experience. And pray for the students who may be changed. And lastly, pray for all my friends going to World Youth Day!

I've never been to WYD, because showering with thousands of people in streets doesn't really appeal to me...wait. WHAT?! You heard me. Traveling with large groups of people ain't pretty. Though I do get the beauty of seeing the universal Church and I definitely want to make a pilgrimage one day. Just on my own time. With perhaps a smaller group of people and guaranteed hygiene.

Peace,
Julia

Saying Yes to Summer Part 2

2011-08-01T11:25:00.005-04:00

You would think that since I have had a month and some change to be loungy that I would be doing so, but it's ME and when I GET to be lazy, I don't WANT to be. And when I should be doing stuff, I get LAZY. That's how I roll. I don't like to be told what to do and that includes seasonal expectations. Humph.

After TWO trips to Ohio- one in June, one in July and TWO Workcamps- again, one in June on in July- I'm finally choosing to be a little loungy. Don't get me wrong, I've had times in between trips to lounge by the pool, ride my bike, go to the gym...do some things for me. But I'm taking this week off to catch up on some research for grad school (I'm pretty sure I told my prof I'd submit my original outline a month ago- eeps!) and apparently DOG SIT. (I have a colleague who is my new neighbor and I agreed to watch their dog while he and his family went out of town, forcing me to have to be a little loungy this week. I know. WHO AM I?!)

Next week, however, I'm going on ANOTHER trip- this time to Camden, NJ with some students from school as another immersion/youth ministry type trip.

So this summer as turned into the summer of ministry, even though I didn't intend for it to be. I've been seeing some of the chillins' I teach this summer even though I wasn't expecting to hear "Miss Strukely" 'til August. AND OMG AUGUST IS HERE!?! Whaaaa?? Sssshhhhh....let's not talk about it just yet.

In the weeks between ministry trips, I have been trying to be in a routine of prayer- starting my days with Mass and some time in front of the Eucharist, going to Confession regularly. But as many youth ministers know, some of our prayer time turns into thoughts on talks and topics we could be preparing for the teens and that has been a difficulty with me of late, too.

So I was pleasantly challenged (if that's a thing...) when a friend who I always have very good, honest conversations with asked me: "So what brings you joy, Julia?" OOOooo...good question! Being asked to articulate something like that isn't as easy as we think! My friend who was asking me is a family man, so I assumed that he would have an "easy" answer: his children, his wife, done. When I was discerning religious life, I had to ask myself that question often. And I really don't think the answer has changed, though the direction of my vocation has. So I answered:

"My work. My studies. My friendships. My relationship with God. The New Evangelization. Music. Art." You know, the usge ( I still struggle with the proper spelling of "usge", btw...suggestions??)

I have been really excited and always motivated by my work in ministry and everytime I have a meeting with a professor at school I want to run to the library and start on the very next section of that paper (if only that feeling last longer than a few mere hours ;) but what about these things brings me joy? I told him something like:

"I get joy by giving other people tools that will benefit their spiritual lives in some way." And that is what the goal of the New Evangelization is, I believe. Re-educating those of us who grew up in the faith, but gaining new tools and new information to help us learn more about God.

Then he asked about my prayer life and what God has been saying to me lately in prayer. I mentioned that I was struggling with letting my work get in the way of my prayer, but that when I do sit down to listen to Jesus, I am trying to get back to being his "beloved". It was so easy, again, when I was discerning religious life. I'm trying to listen now to how I can be his beloved as a single woman, discerning marriage, working hard as a minister in His Church.

It was so nice to be asked by my friend these challenging questions I am not always asked and like I said, I really treasure that I can have open, honest conversations with him.

So what brings you joy? Is it an easy thing for you to answer? And what is God saying to you in your prayer time (if you are taking prayer time...not judging ;)

Even though I want to say NO to school coming back in a couple of weeks and I often find myself saying NO to just going to prayer and listening, I need to continue to say YES to my personal time with the Lord and searching for what brings me joy. For these questions, I believe, do aide us in our discernment, and help us find that many answers are already right in front of us.

Also, another cool story from the last Workcamp (there are many. I need to get better at articulating the good moments. When people ask me how Workcamp goes, I often just find myself saying "good". Next time, ask me how I got to be Deputy Fire Marshall or how I discovered a new love for Wegmans- maybe I'll be more specific :)

The parish youth group of which I was youth minister for for three years came to the diocesan camp this July. When I was youth minister at the parish, I tried to (though very poorly) run a junior high ministry. Some of the kids I knew through that ministry are now GRADUATING HIGH SCHOOL and were at the camp. They seemed to remember me and it was really cool to share the week with them. Meanwhile, one of the teens who was in my senior high group back in the day is now a YOUTH MINISTER in her own right and brought some of MY current students with her to the camp! IT was a crazy, weird circle of my life, but it was a pretty cool God moment to witness.

Above are some pics from the past couple weeks. The next time I write I will be days away from SCHOOL STARTING again, I'm sure. AHHH! I want to say hell-to-the-no! But I will say yes.

(pictures: two of my students working side by side at Workcamp, some CUA friends at a surprise birthday party, my former roommates and I reunited, and my sister, cousins, and I home in Ohio for my mom's bday)

Peace,
Julia

Why My Memoirs Will Be Published Posthumous

2011-07-14T10:57:00.004-04:00

Hello, all from sunny (and apparently beautiful) Ohio!

I'm in town because my mom's gotta big birthday today. (We won't say how old, but I turned 30 this year and she had me when she was 29 going on 30, so you do the math ;)

My sister and I have a "girls day" planned for the three of us today to celebrate, but before my sister arrives, I decided to go for a little walk/jog around the ol' neighborhood.

Sidenote: Apparently the effects of turning 30 arise when attempting to jog on solid ground instead of an eliptical machine. My roommates can attest that I have been going to the gym faithfully this summer, but MAN my muscles hurt right now! When you can feel the different muscles that you use for various physical activities, I think that means you are old.

I am also showing age because this path that I took for my walk-jog was one I crossed MULTIPLE times a DAY when I was in my early teens. Many of my friends lived in an adjoining neighborhood and we would ride bikes/walk back and forth, ALL DAY, EVERYDAY in the summers. I could barely jog it once today. Me= Old.

As I was making the incredibly nostalgic, non-creepy trek past an old friend's house (which they no longer live in, mind you. I was just checking up on things because that's what my family DOES. My Babci does the same thing. You go past other people's houses to see what bad shape they are in now that the family you know is gone. It's a thing. Try it sometime) and I was walk-jogging, I thought about many high school/teenage memories that I can now actually think about and ponder without getting angry or nauseous. (I was a TEENAGER. I was ANGSTY. Everything is vomitous when you are 13...)

Which made me think: I've mentioned to several people of late that one of my goals in life is to publish a book before I die. People's proper response is then: "Oh! Okay...what kind of book would it be?" And I answer something similar to this blog...spiritual reflections or funny anecdotes about the realities of life. I even have some working titles that my friends helped me design: Beer and Highlights: The Julia Strukely Story, Holy Hours and Happy Hours, and one of my chapters will certainly be entitled: "How an Urban Outfitters Dress Changed the Course of My Life."

So I've got the titles, but trotting through the old neighborhood today I thought: I could never publish such memoirs while myself or anyone I know is alive. Not that I would say such horrible, terrible revealing things, but no one ever remembers stories the same way. Whatever story I would tell, someone from my past inevitably would say: "oh, I don't remember it like that" AND any terribly traumatic event USUALLY involves other people when you are growing up...who wants to talk about how tramautic something was for themselves when it probably was no big thing for whoever you were with? That's embarrassing.

But here's the Catch 22- if I wait 'til all of these people involved in said tramautic stories die to publish my memoirs, who will want to read it? They were the people important to me and now they're dead. Likewise, if I outlive everyone and then publish my memoirs when I die, who will care anything about me to read it?

I think I'm just going to bank on the latter- wait 'til I and everyone I have exploited ( I mean, er, mentioned) in the memoirs are dead and then take the risk that I will still have left a big enough mark on people I didn't know in my early years who will want to read it.

Is this too morbid for a beautiful summer day? I'm just saying. I don't understand who writes memoirs these days...it is COMPLICATED. I hope Justin Beiber didn't name names...

Sorry this wasn't theological in any way...until next time!

Peace,
Julia

Saying "yes" to Summer

2011-07-05T09:30:00.006-04:00

above: My Grandma Strukely and I in 2007, Workcamp friends and I, one of my new housemates making margaritas on the 4th!

Time for a summer update! It's been a couple weeks and a lot has happened.

After I rounded out the school year and wrapped up my first year of teaching, I went down to Richmond and witnessed my dear friend become a priest! But I already said that in my last post :) After the Richmond trip, my week was SUPPOSED to be a segway into a relaxing summer, getting settled in my new house, and preparing for Week 1 of Workcamp (which i believe I also mentioned previously).

However, in a sad turn of events, my family lost my Grandma Strukely the Tuesday after I returned from my weekend in Richmond. She was in a nursing home for the last few years and going to be 95 this year, so she definitely lived a full life. But that doesn't make it easier. She was a super classy lady and will be missed. If you will indulge me, I'll share a little bit about what made Mary V. Strukely just that classy:

I never met my Grandpa Strukely who died when my dad was only 7. He had lung cancer and it was my Grandma who cared for him as well as their 3 children (my dad and two aunts) when he was dying in their home. If that doesn't spell strong woman, I don't know what does. She never re-married, and raised my dad and aunts on her own. Again, such a strong lady!

In all of that, though, she was never very vocal. Never really complained (my other grandma- aka Babci- is most likely where I get my sass from ;) From my Grandma Strukely I like to think I inherited my love for the finer things, pearls, and nice clothes :) My dad's family wasn't incredibly wealthy- again, single mother of 3!- but she always looked nice, always had her hair done and lipstick on :) Classy!

I also like to think I inherited my Grandma's strong faith. I actually got to meet with the priest with my dad and aunts before the funeral because I was coordinating music for the liturgy (I played and sang for the funeral with my dad- so special! I know Grandma loved it :) and when we met with Father, he was impressed that my Grandma- though raised Byzantine Catholic herself- stuck to her commitment to her husband and the Church to raise the children Roman Catholic. She never learned to drive, and made the kids walk to Church ( I remember walking with her when I was little too- in the snow, uphill, for 6 miles....jk). I also remember talking with her as I was discerning religious life and her respecting my decision and sharing with me her fond memories of the traditions of the Church such as liturgy and Adoration.

So I made an unexpected trip home to Ohio before Week 1 of Workcamp and celebrated my Grandma's life with my family. It was a pretty beautiful funeral, after which, we had a Manhattan (her drink of choice- classy!) in her honor.

Since I arrived to Workcamp a couple of days later than usual, I actually had energy for most of the week (unlike some of my colleagues, perhaps ;)I got to help with music as I have in the past and I am always very humbled by how hard everyone works to put that camp together. We may get tired and get frustrated with each other, but it is hard to say NO to someone, when everyone is there of their own free will, just trying to create a prayerful experience for the teens we minister to.

With also just celebrating the 4th of July (we celebrated in our new house with a couple cocktails and small get together, then my housemates and I went over to a nearby house in the neighborhood where a community of religious live. But I'll get to that later ) I refelcted a little yesterday on this "YES" that Christ gives us with our freedom. We get to hear and say "YES" a lot more than others here in this country. And we, of course, abuse that privilege often.

I am starting to do work for my directed research course for grad school, and my spiritual director suggested I take a look at the figure of Sarah in the Old Testament who I feel like I do have a connection with. As I was reading, I found that she played the submissive wife role a little bit and went along with Abram's suggestions (like pretending to be his sister instead of wife to trick the Pharaoh in the early days!) We all know that I am NOT the submissive type, and so it is hard for me to identify a little bit with these women in the Bible who seem to always say "Yes". I have to wonder if their "yes" was not always out of free will, but because of the signs of the times and oppression.

And so my meditation has been on- in light of Workcamp, my Grandma, and the 4th- this free yes. When we say it freely, it is a beautiful thing- especially because of the freedom we have. When we have the choice to say "no" but say "yes" in certain cases, it is a beautiful thing...like Mary's "yes" (or fiat) for example. We honor and treasure that yes because she allowed herself to suffer so that we all might live through God's son.

A friend who was just accepted to the seminary for our diocese and I were reflecting on my experience of discerning religious life. I was reminded of the fact that God wanted me to just say "yes" in that moment, even though it didn't end up being what He wanted for me forever. It was a "yes" to doing whatever He wanted with me, "yes" to giving up things He knew I loved...and that was enough for Him.

I continue to contemplate what He wants me to say "yes" to at this time in my life, but I do know I'm grateful for all the "yes"'s I've heard from Him lately- YES to directed research in grad school, YES to a new household full of holy, Catholic women, YES to a job that I currently love!

I mentioned that my new house is in close proximity to a religious community (of course it is! This is my life ;) . As I was walking from our house to theirs, through the wooded area behind a church that is also close to our house, looking at the Stations of the Cross- I just had to ask myself, "who AM I???" Does anyone else have their own little Narnia where they pass from one part of the neighborhood to this mysterious religious wonderland?? So crazy. I've had so many unique experiences with the Church and I'm not sure what the Lord is doing, continuing to introduce me to new people, new communities, but I'm very grateful and I see his hand in it.

That's it for now. I shall continue to say "yes" to summer :) Hopefully that will involve some pool time at some point! I know it will definitely include another Workcamp at the end of this month, another visit home to celebrate my mom's bday, and probably some lesson planning and research..

until then, Happy Summer!

Peace,
Julia

A New Father for Father's Day

2011-06-20T12:40:00.004-04:00

My friend, now FR Brian, giving his first blessings as a priest

This past weekend was pretty epic for many reasons, but one of which being that I got to witness my friend Brian become Father Brian.

I know Brian from my year with NET- we were on the same team. We had both just graduated from college- 8 years ago already!!! When I re-located to Arlington after my year of volunteering with NET, we were able to keep in touch and visit because he, too, was from VA. We became closer friends even after the volunteer experience.

I know I wrote about the beauty of ordination to the priesthood a little bit last year with my friend Ed (also from my NET year!) but I still thought of much to reflect and contemplate on as I witnessed the event and then also the event of Brian’s first Mass as a priest today- Father’s Day.

The first thing that always blows me away about my friends who are becoming priests is their ability to sacrifice. They are truly laying their lives down for the Church and for us so that we may be able to continue to have the Sacraments. And they WANT to do that for the Church and for God! I was moved by both of my friends’ first Masses because I knew how much they wanted to celebrate that first Eucharist for their friends and families and their new Bride- the Church.

In my own spiritual life, I have been coming back to elements of self-sacrifice too. One of the things that drew me to the convent and that draws me to the Church is that element of self sacrifice. Our Church is real good about getting the point home that love involves sacrifice. But do we appreciate it? Do we recognize God as the source and strength for those sacrifices? I know for myself, there is always that temptation to twist the sacrifice and say: “look at me! How noble am I that I am SACRIFICING for the good of others? Did you notice that I was SACRIFICING today??” Ugh. That’s SO not the point!

And my friend Brian just has always been so pure, I believe, in his intentions to be a priest. He’s asked himself all of the questions, looked at the alternatives, and still chosen this path because he feels so strongly about it. It’s so admirable.

And so what do I do? I get a little envious! God is clearly working in the lives of and through these men! Men that want to sacrifice for the good of God and others EXIST! ;) And I am so grateful to have some of these men in my life! But I do get a little envious that God seems to be keeping them for Himself! ;)

So, purity and sacrifice. We can twist sacrifice and make it something ugly, but it really is beautiful when done purely as my friend did so this weekend. This notion of sacrifice, as I said, has crept back into other areas of my life. While in Richmond, I was sitting with my friend whose house I always stay at when I'm in town, and we were sharing our thoughts on men, as we often do ;) And it struck me that this element of sacrifice is really important to me, not only in my relationship with God, but also my relationship with others. I do strongly believe that Love involves sacrifice and that the sacrifice is beautiful when pure. Sometimes I want to throw that purity and sacrifice out the window, but I know and trust in the beauty of when love is done right (with sacrifice), as demonstrated by my friend who became a priest this weekend.

My other thoughts and observations on the ordination yesterday:

- the litany of saints really got to me. I may have gotten choked up just a little. Just the idea that so many men and women whom we name have also given their lives in sacrifice for the Church and now my friend was committing to the Church they gave their lives for. It made me in awe of the community of saints and their witness to ALL of us in our calls to holiness.

- the Old Testament references (of course! "We GET IT, Julia- you teach Old Testament" is what you are saying to yourselves...And now I’m going to be doing directed research with an O.T. prof at CUA in the fall for credit!)Anyways, the priesthood was instituted, as we know, at the Last Supper, but has its roots in God appointing Moses and Aaron and the Levite priests which the bishop reminded us of at the Ordination

- the laying on of hands and the oil as the matter for the Sacrament. So simple, but passed on from the apostles. They would ordain new priests just by the laying on of hands as we do today, and the oil is something we receive at Baptism, Confirmation, Anointing of the Sick- it is a symbol of strength which is so needed for Holy Orders!

- PEOPLE WERE VERY EXCITED for my friend and the other young man ordained with him. People kept clapping after EVERYTHING! It made me think of Rebecca Black, sadly- “We so excited!” ( I would include the video, but it got yanked off of you tube! So you are WELCOME for its absence here…)

- These men are set apart by their call. So are married people, but do we see marriage as being set apart for God and for one person? We tend to think religious life is so isolating, but really, marriage is also a being “set apart” in a sense, too.

I think that’s it. The people around me at the ordination must’ve thought I was a news reporter (or just crazy) because I kept pulling the pen out of my purse and jotting down thoughts during the ceremony…WHO DOES THAT!?

I’m SO HAPPY for my friend Brian. Please keep him and his family in your prayers. May we all be inspired by his sacrifice and seek to make our own sacrifices for love of the Church and others.

I’m also SO EXCITED ( there it is again! “we, we so excited!”) for Workcamp! It starts this week! Pray for us too!

There is just no stopping the Holy Spirit during this time post-Pentecost! And I’m okay with it.

Also, I can’t believe I forgot- I AM DONE WITH MY FIRST YEAR OF TEACHING!! Success!!! Thank you for all your support of me this year. When I rolled out of bed at 8:15 this morning without an alarm and realized I had all of the time to work out, pray, run errands, etc. I thought to myself: “I am going to LIKE this summer thing.”

Okay, that’s really it now. And I’m signing off until after Workcamp. Thanks for your prayers!

Peace,
Julia

I Heart Pentecost

2011-06-12T15:54:00.005-04:00

Three years ago on Pentecost, I was packing up my belongings which would all fit in my sister's Honda Civic (some of which would go on my now brother in law's lap who was riding with us) and leaving the place that I called home in St. Louis (aka-the convent). I moved in with my sister (who happened to also live in St. Louis- no coincidences!) for about three weeks and then flew back home to Ohio to try to figure where the Lord wanted me next.

Only a week or two into being home in Ohio, I had landed a job in DC and been asked by my current roommates to move into a house with them in MD. The Holy Spirit had moved quickly! So it took me TWO car trips at that time and I moved all of my belongings to DC.

The Holy Spirit and I have this ebb and flow relationship, I am finding. It took me a good 2-3 years to discern religious life before entering. It took me a good 2 years to find the comfortable role I have now teaching. These are the ebb moments, I imagine. The Holy Spirit moving away for whatever reason to do His work and taking His time to show me the next thing. But the Holy Spirit can also whisk me away, like the moment mentioned above.

Now here I am, sitting amid boxes again, this time that will necessitate a truck, but I doubt will fill it. I pretty much have the same few possessions, except for a bedroom set of my own now and definitely more clothes :) I found my new living situation rather quickly, so I'm wondering if I'm in for another ebb moment or entering into another realm of some kind of discerning.

During those three weeks that I lived with my sister Janet in St. Louis between the convent and moving back to DC, I walked each day to Mass at a Church within walking distance of her apartment. I did the same thing today, only this time to my new parish in VA, and I realized I have been within walking distance to a Church for the past 5 years of my life. In Leesburg, in St. Louis, in MD, and now back to VA. The Lord knows I need Him close in these transitional moments.

So here we are, Pentecost- 3 years later. And I am once again moving. My current roommates, too, are moving on- both engaged. I move on to another community of holy women (also a trend for the past 4-5 years of my life!) I am not sure what all the connections and cycles mean, but I do now see that this is how the Lord works in my life. Quick when things need to happen quickly, and sometimes super slowly when it's a decision that will bear much weight on my ministry or vocation.

He knows me. He knows I like to be productive and efficient when the goal seems clear and achievable. But I like to take my time when I'm not sure.

In my last post, I talked about some of the ways I know there are no coincidences; that everything is a part of his plan. These bookends to the past few years of my life also show this.

One of the examples of these "bookends" is rather humorous.3 years ago, when I returned to DC I had about 2 months before the house in MD was available for us to move in. So I stayed at a friend's condo who was living in a religious community (discerning at the time- now professed!) and had the condo available. I didn't have much stuff (like I said- two car trips!) and he had shut off the cable, so I remember coming home from my days at my new job and watching his "Arrested Development" dvds.

(Gob and Tobias respectively :)

I now sit at a house with not much stuff and no cable as I wait for my new roommates to move in. I watch my OWN collection of "Arrested Development" dvds though now, as my friend had turned me onto the series because of the move 3 years ago.

It may seem like a stretch, but I see Bookends. No coincidences.

When I was teaching my students last week and we were going over the final chapter from the text which sets up how Christ fulfills the covenants of the Old Testament, I straight up asked the kids, "do you think we are grasping for straws with some of these parallels? Are we reading TOO much into the details?" For example, the fact that Moses' first sign to Pharaoh was changing water into blood with the first plague and then Jesus' mirst miracle would be water into wine, and then eventually wine into His Blood. Are we stretching it?

The fact that Isaac had to carry the wood for His sacrifice which he was going to go through with willingly because his father asked him to...is that too much for us to say is like Christ?

12 tribes of Israel, 12 apostles...part of a plan or part of a Biblical technique? I could go on and on as the Bible is full of these typologies. Some for literary sake, but at some point we have to use our faith and say- no coincidences.

I question these things myself. At some points in my life, I don't want to see or believe the parallels or typologies. I don't want to think they are part of a plan. But at this point in my life- and at the time I was discerning religious life- I matched each and every one of those signs up and believed because I wanted to. The Holy Spirit helps us to do this.

So as I transition once again this Pentecost, it may seem like I haven't moved much. Like I said when I started this post, three years ago, my brother in law was just my sister's boyfriend and now he's also the father of my nephew! Phew! For some, the Holy Spirit moves quickly! But 1.) we can't compare ourselves to others and 2.) I know that I have done alot- transitioned from religious life, worked for a non-profit, traveled, started graduate school, ministered to friends, volunteered, dated- and most importantly, I am confident I am where God wants me to be because He has given me these affirmations, these "coincidences" which I know are not just that, but a part of His plan.

Father was saying in His homily on Pentecost today how crazy the apostles must have looked when they received the Holy Spirit. People thought they were drunk! (It's in Scripture!) And how we, too, look crazy sometime when we go with the flow of the Spirit. But Father pointed out that with the Spirit, it is a "sober intoxication". Sober because it should be peaceful. And intoxicating because it does seem crazy at times to do what the Spirit asks. We have to surrender and let Him be in control. We have to surrender to let Him take over- that's what intoxication is- letting something else take control over us.

I do feel the peaceful "sober-ness" of the Spirit (to continue with Father's metaphor) and I think I'm ready again to become intoxicated (wait for it )...with His Spirit. COME ON! I know there are SO many intoxicated jokes I could make, but this is a SERIOUS blogpost, if you couldn't tell! (You can read my infamous Seafoam post if you want to remember me at my punchiest. Today's just not that day :)

Anyways, AHEM. I'm open to what He wants to do next. Come Holy Spirit, Come.

As for the immediate future, these next couple weekends are going to be blessed for sure. Last year, I got to see one of my friends from NET become ordained for our diocese. This year, I'm going to attend the ordination of oe of my very own teammates from NET in the Richmond diocese! I'm soooo happy for my friend because he is one of the holiest guys I know and will be a beautiful priest. It is bittersweet for him, though, as his brother just recently passed away. Please keep him, his vocation, and his family in your prayers.

And the following weekend- the last weekend in June- brings about the first week of Workcamp already! I've been blessed to volunteer with this camp for the past several years and I always wonder why my friends and I love volunteering for this camp so much. I have come to find that it is because it's a week lived how Christ wants us to live- in simplicity, in community, serving others, and taking time in prayer and worship together.

The Holy Spirit is already doing such great things. And I'm excited for what's to come!

Happy Pentecost!!!

Peace,
Julia

The Beloved and The Advocate

2011-06-05T18:09:00.005-04:00

I keep having sporatic inspirations for good blog posts and then they disappear amid car accidents, phone failures, breaking leases and THE END OF THE WORLD. That's right ALL of the things in my life are breaking, but we're still here! PHEW!

So I guess it's not ALL bad. Especially since....

It's time for the Pentecost Novena!!! My favesies!!!

I really did have a crazy couple weeks. A lady decided to BACK HER CAR DOWN A MAJOR STREET IN REVERSE and hit me. Geico and the auto place I found were on it in a flash, but then seemed to forget about me as I STILL am driving a rental. Grrr. But at least I'm getting around and not having to pay for it!

Then, today, my phone decided it didn't want to power on. Or rather, it just wanted to continually appear to be powering on but never actually do so. I had to take it to not one, but two Verizon stores before the collective dudes finally got it working.

And this is all while I'm trying to move from my beloved Conover to this new place:

But you know what?! It's ALL GOOD. Because these are just THINGS. And Father had a really awesome homily this morning at my soon-to-be NEW parish: St. John the Beloved.

Before I get into the awesome deets of the homily, I would just like to say that in my Scripture course the kids and I talk about how Salvation History can't be a series of coincidences. I mean, I suppose it could be, but that's not what faith is. We trust the string of events from Adam to us is part of a perfect plan because we have the faith that God loves us that much. Plus, those would be a TON of coincidences!

God, I think, has recently made it clear that there are no coincidences with the fact that each parish I've been a parishioner of in the past 8 years has been named after one title of St. John or another. My first 3 years in youth ministry I was working at and a parishoner of St. John the Apostle. When I moved back to MD after the convent, I became a parishoner of St. John the Evangelist. Now, I am within a 5-10 minute walk of my NEW parish- St. John the Beloved. All different titles for the same guy. Coincidence? Time to start praying to St. John on the regs.

I am now taking to prayer and reflecting on how God has called me to be each of those titles in some aspect or another at different times in my life and how I can continue to try and be Apostle, Evangelist, and Beloved. John is also a signifcant name in my family. It's my dad's name, both of my grandfathers' name, and now the middle name for my nephew. I looked up what the name means and it means: "God is gracious." A good reminder and another thing to take to prayer!

So I set out to run over to the latest St. John's in my life- St. John the Beloved- and find that on First Saturdays of the month they say a rosary, have Adoration, and do "first Saturday" devotions in accordance to the messages of Fatima. They also had started the Holy Spirit novena as a parish which I was, of course, so excited to be reminded about!

Now back to Father's awesome homily. I hope I can re-convey the awesomeness. 1.) it was not lengthy or preachy, but straightfoward and to the point 2.) he actually preached on the Gospel! Amazing how it seems that happens few and far between with some preachers.

He took the line: "When they saw him, they worshiped, but they doubted" and expounded on it, mentioning that isn't this what we do? We see so many signs, yet we still doubt. And this line seems contradictory- to worship but still doubt? Yet we do.

He also mentioned that the Ascension isn't complete without the feast of Pentecost, which I was particularly excited about. Jesus rose into heaven with the purpose of sending us His Spirit. I just loved contemplating that thought. All of these events (the Glorious Mysteries!)- the Resurrection, the Ascension, and next week- the descending of the Spirit at Pentecost- had to happen as part of God's plan so that we could be united with His Spirit while on earth.

The other thing I was contemplating about regarding this time in the liturgical year is why does Pentecost happen for us at a more relaxed time in our calendar year? Of course, the Western world is not the only place where the liturgical year is honored, so it may not be so in other parts of the world, but it just seems for us that summer is when we wind down and relax- not try to be sent out on a mission which is what the Spirit urges us to do! But then I thought, this is probably the perfect time to receive the Spirit! We need It to stay motivated and not lazy!!

So amidst the crazy, the Spirit-our Advocate- is working! It has also been very humbling to be cleaning out a house which I moved into 3 years ago after leaving the convent. I am grateful to my roommates who took me in, as they were the perfect community for me at the time. (I'm also grateful that I haven't accumulated many more possessions after three years!)
(my roommates and I at our house celebrating Steph's bday two years ago)
It's definitely the end of the era. I'm also grateful for this time to find myself again and I rebuild. And I'm looking forward to what lies ahead!

Hope you will join in me in praying to our Advocate during this time before Pentecost. Come Holy Spirit, Come!

Peace,
Julia

Good Shepherd Sunday

2011-05-15T22:02:00.004-04:00

It's still Easter, y'all!

I get excited that we still get to be doused with a little bit of Holy Water each Sunday and renew our baptismal vows for the next couple weeks. Have you noticed that we can replace the Creed during the liturgy with the Baptismal Vows? I just studied all that recently and so I'm kinda fascinated by it. I mean, we like making, taking, and talking about vows, right? I mean- there's all these "Say Yes to the Dress" "Bridezilla" wedding shows where people are obviously excited about saying "I do"- and we get to each take vows each Easter.

For some, though, thinking about vows can make one break into hives. And that literally happened to me today. Well, maybe it was more just the fact that I went outside to mow the lawn after a pollen explosion this week, but my other roommate (that's right, in addition to my other, other roommate) got engaged this weekend and while I am SUPER happy for her, I may or may not have had an allergic reation. My body either cannot take any more pollen or any more engagements. One of the two.

But there's something about vows, isn't there? They unite us to an idea or a concept or a person. They give us a purpose and identity. We celebrate them and want to share them with others. But do we think about our baptismal vows as such? We get to say "I do" many, many times in our lives when we think about the Creed we say each Sunday. We say "I do" to rejecting Satan, accepting Jesus and the Church...do we think about the serious agreement we are making? (Not to freak you out or anything. Don't go getting all itchy on me! I just had to take some Benadryl myself...for reals.)

No one should be surprised that I'm also teaching Marriage right now in my Sacraments course because that's what happens in my life; my worlds run and blend together. And I teach people about weddings- that's what I DO. I don't like to brag, but I know a thing or two about weddings since I've been to so many. I'm kind of like the Wedding Whisperer at this point. My friends come to me and ask me all kinds of things about bridesmaid protocol. My aforementioned, engaged roommates are also some of the coolest engaged women ever because they have been through all this with me. We've contemplated writing a book, but women probably don't want to read what we would write (imagine "He's just not that into you" for brides only "They just don't care that much" ie- your guests)

But anyways, when I teach Marriage to the students, we talk about many things, but primarily those vows because from those you can understand why the Church teaches what it does about the Sacrament. You are saying "I do" to being open to children (hence the teachings on birth control) and "I Do" to being with the person for the rest of your life, better or worse, sickness and in health, hence our teaching on divorce. It's serious stuff and we don't take it lightly!

But commitment can and does freak us out, which is why I emphasize to the students that we have to put God at the center of our relationships. If God is at the center we can be much more sure and have a much stronger foundation. We can rely on His Grace because we as humans are flawed and unreliable.

I was grateful that today was still Easter Season and in particular, Good Shepherd Sunday. After having a physical reaction to another wedding put me in need of a shepherd. And the readings today came through:

Psalm 23- "God is my shepherd, There is nothing I shall want."

and

1 Peter 2:20 "Beloved: If you are patient when you suffer for doing what is good,
this is a grace before God. For to this you have been called,
because Christ also suffered for you,
leaving you an example that you should follow in his footsteps"

Sigh. God is so good. No need to panic- I can breathe a sigh of relief. Though, I'd like to ask for prayers for my new housing situation and our upcoming move. I am hoping to live in community with some other Catholic young women. A friend and I are looking at houses in Northern VA, but our lease here in MD is up very soon! I totally trust that God will take care of everything and His plan is perfect, but the prayers couldn't hurt!

"God is my shepherd. I shall not want." What do you need to hand over to God, perhaps? And are we aware of the promises we've made to Him and how he keeps His promises to us?

Happy Easter...still! Oooo...and the countdown to Pentecost begins soon! My favesies!

Peace,
Julia

The Easter Alleluia

2011-04-29T08:16:00.003-04:00

The long awaited Easter week/Spring Break is here! I was chatting with my friend G- whom I often mention in this blog since she is a fellow blogger and member of my women's group- on Holy Saturday about how this Lent wasn't perhaps the biggest success for us in terms of successful sacrificing. I remember last year just being so relieved that Lent was over because I had delved so much into my fasting.

This year, it has been an anticipating of Easter in a different way. Not just for Lent to be over, but so that the celebration and rememberance of the birthday/Triduum/Easter could begin!

I've already mentioned how Triduum turned out just as I had imagined it. I ended up going to the Easter Vigil at my parish on my own and then meeting up with my parents for Easter Sunday morning Mass. I was glad I went to the Vigil. It is my favorite part of the liturgical year for a reason. So much drama, so much meaning and symbolism. And we get to welcome new Catholics to the Church! I think that element of community is so important. I like to be a part of that Welcome Committee, if not the chairman ;)

Easter Sunday was spent with my parents and a childhood friend who happens to live in DC with his wife. The Easter eggs above are ones we dyed on Easter Sunday after Mass as part of a tradition his family has and my parents and I got to take part in this year. (My mom won the contest with her extra-special 'dinosaur egg' which you may be able to spot above ;)

I'm writing to you now from Florida after watching the Royal wedding (hence the random picture above. I'll get to it in a moment!). Our week has been mostly perfect with the exception of rain today (hence the blogging instead of beaching!) I've gotten to live my Easter Alleluia and my first week in my 30s in style: Beach/Pool by morning, lunch, then more pool or beach, then dinner, then hot-tub, then bed! I hope this routine is a foreshadowing of how my 30s are going to go ;)

My friend who is here with me and I are both single women and marvel at how God has blessed us with the ability to be down here in FL, take in sunsets and beautiful weather, and to be mostly stress free. While we certainly have moments where we watch the sunset and wish the other were perhaps a member of the opposite sex at that moment, we are grateful to be able to live the lives we have even if they don't include a husband or a baby to include in our Facebook profile picture at this time.

We are staying at a place that has mostly retire-ees or 'snow birds' down here for the winter. They are cute and do their water aerobics by day, dinner and dancing by night. One night in particular this week, they were throwing a huge bash! My friend and I were in the pool for the sunset and we could see and hear all the old folks dancing to Sinatra (and even Johnny Cash! win!).

We had what my other friends E and L like to call "ovary-exploding" moments- moments where the cuteness and our feminine sides just overwhelm us. We swoon and can't control the coos and awwwws of the overwhelming adorableness happening before our eyes. I try to be tough, but the old couples dancing to tunes asking if they could "have this dance for the rest of their lives" was just too much. I had to remove myself from the situation and get another cocktail stat.

Watching the Royal Wedding now isn't helping 'the situation', perhaps. I mean, Prince William was every girl my age's dreamboat! We had pictures taped up into our lockers, etc, etc. Now throw in Alexander McQueen dresses and this is easily any girl's dream if I can make such a generalization.

Like the old couples dancing the night away, though,the Royal Wedding makes me think of the serious commitments these couples are making for each other for the rest of their lives. And that life long commitment can be just the thing to keep those ovaries in check. I mean, together for life is a LONG. TIME. When I think about it: Queen Elizabeth is still keeping it real on the royal throne. Then it's Charles, THEN Kate and Prince William will get to do their thing IF they are still together! (which is a horrible thing to say, but Charles and the late Diana couldn't even keep the fairy tale for too long.) There. The ovaries are deflating now.

And so quickly I become more like a dude. Guys are stereotypically more afraid of these life-long commitments while we women tend to dream of it. Clearly, a nice realistic approach to life and romance and its challenges is probably the best way to look at marriage. Not with an ovary based bias or lack their of.

I know I've talked way too much about lady parts in this blog post and I apologize. A week with cute old couples and sunsets will do that to you...if you are a girl, I suppose.

Back to my old cyncical self next week I promise you! AS for now, the sun looks like it may come out today! Imma turn this fairy tale mess off the TV and get back to the reality that IS my life as a fabulous single Catholic teacher on Spring Break! Huzzah!

To the life long promises and the freedoms given to us by God no matter our state in life-

Happy Easter!
Peace,
Julia

Triduum + Thirty = Three Days of Awesome.

2011-04-23T08:06:00.005-04:00

So it is finished- my 20s :)

The start to this year's Triduum has gone pretty according to plan (heh. I mean, the events of the Triduum were kind of an ordained plan. That's how Triduum works)- but here I mean MY plans (at the risk of sounding kind of obnoxious). I finished out the week with my last grad class of the semester and also said goodbye to the kiddies I teach as we head into SPREAK BREAK! FINALLY!! (Some of my students brought me cupcakes on Thurs, too, which was very sweet :)

My parents rolled into town on Holy Thursday and came over to join me for Mass and my 30th birthday celebration in the "upper room" of a bar here in DC :)

I was really humbled by my friends and family who came to celebrate. I had friends there from my 30 years of life: friends from first grade, high school, college, my years as a youth minister, and my current besties.

Also, as anticipated...I celebrated QUITE well and needed to rest on my actual birthday- Good Friday. But I like to chill on Good Friday. Keep it solemn and simple. I'm a traditional kind of girl in that respect.

Yesterday, my parents joined me for lunch (and by joined me for lunch I mean brought me a sandwich and gatorade as I sat in my pajamas :) and then we went to a Good Friday service. The service we went to was one here in Silver Spring. Not my parish, but one I had been to when I celebrated Triduum by myself here in DC a couple years earlier. The service is really well attended, starts at 3pm (I like my Good Friday services to start at 3pm. It's a thing I have) and is solemn yet prayerful.

This year, the thing that struck me the most about the service was the people. The veneration of the cross is my favorite, and watching people come up to honor it was striking to me. Young and old, all bowing down to give honor to the God that we love. Christ truly unites us.

So this Triduum has had a communal focus for me so far, as well as liturgy done well. The Holy Thursday Mass we went to in DC was long, but really traditional- lots of sacred music, the washing of the feet of the parishioners, and my FAVORITE part- the Pange Lingua and transfer of the Eucharist. I just always imagine us going to the garden with Jesus to pray at that moment.

My fav Holy Thursday (well, I have two...who does that? I'm such a nerd) was once in high school (or maybe I was home from college) and at my family parish in OH where a friend from high school youth group and I got to have our feet washed. My parish back home makes it a point to have young and old- really different representations of people in the parish- to get their feet washed. And that was signficant for me at that time in my life.

My other fav H.T. was when my bestie from Ohio and I were in Spain. The Mass was sadly not that well attended, but it was in this big old Church and the transfer of the Eucharist was particularly powerful for me. My friend and I stayed there praying for a while and it was just cool to be in another country doing the same things we would do at home, to have my friend there, and just really experience the universality of the Church.

This year's Holy Thursday will now have a rank with those top 2 ;)

Today is Holy Saturday and my parents and I are probably still taking it easy today. I haven't decided if I will go to the Easter Vigil tonight. We all know it's my FAVORITE but I don't like to make other people sit through it whom haven't written disertations about it like I have :)

Easter Sunday we are celebrating at the same Church we went to for Holy Thursday Mass and then going to brunch at a high school friend's home here in DC. It will be nice to have a piece of home to celebrate the feast with me here in DC.

I'm liking this communal aspect that is starting off my 30s- being surrounded by people I love is definitely a way to celebrate new life ;)

On a slightly sadder note, the tales of woe with our house continue. Remember the winter of no heat? Well, I came home on Wed from work to water in our basement. Our landlord sent over someone right away to fix the water tank which was leaking, but the damage had been done for my poor roommate whose room is IN the basement. The carpet in her room got soaked and is still wet and smelly :( So she is moving out!

We were planning on going our separate ways this summer anyways, but now it looks like we will be splitting up sooner. So 30 will be bringing me a new adventure in finding a new place to live! Anyone relocating to the DC/Northern VA area??? :)

I will also say goodbye to my parents after Easter brunch on Sunday and add the last items to my suitcase before I leave for FL on Monday!!! Yeah!!

30 certainly rocks! Get ready for obnoxious beach text and tweets in the week to come!

And thanks again to all who made my entrance into my 30s special.

Blessed Triduum and Easter!!
Peace,
Julia

Selling the Drama Part 2

2011-04-17T21:19:00.012-04:00

In thinking about Palm Sunday and its liturgy, I really had a lot of the same thoughts as I had last year. I love the role playing. I love the traditions. I love the drama and the stories. I just wish we could be that passionate about the Passion everytime we go to Mass since we do, essentially, always remember the same thing- the Paschal Mystery- Christ's Death, Resurrection, and Ascension. But I said that already last year :)

I got to go to a Seder meal this weekend which was cool for many reasons: 1.) it was celebrated with some of my favorite people! 2.) I teach Old Testament and actually taught about Passover and the practices of the Seder with my students. 3.) You might also remember last year how obsessed I was about how our rituals are based on Jewish traditions.

The Passover Seder does have much in common with our Holy Week liturgies. Almost all of the things I mentioned above: the stories, the drama, the role playing, traditions ("Tradition!" even ;) And there's just something beautiful about remembering our history and our salvation; the fact that we are free in many ways because of our forefathers and because of Christ. (AND I found the 'Afikomen' at the supper and won a PRIZE. Passover rules. Easter bunny, eat your heart out. )

The Seder supper and Palm Sunday liturgy are reflective of my life in many ways right now. There's so much going on in them that I don't know what to focus on! That's kind of how I feel about this week. It's all GOOD stuff- last week of classes before break, last grad class of the semester, my birthday, the Triduum, preparing for vacation! Phew! But it's a lot!

So Sunday at Mass, while I was able to enter into the Passion play and the readings, I didn't know which part of the readings really stood out to me the most. I don't know what I'm supposed to be reflecting on STILL as I enter into this last week of Lent and this last week of my 20s.

I guess if I could pick something to reflect on from today's readings that struck me was that Jesus did everything to fulfill prophecy. He really explains everything to them and to us. For example:

Then Jesus said to them, “This night all of you will have your faith in me shaken, for it is written:I will strike the shepherd,and the sheep of the flock will be dispersed; but after I have been raised up, I shall go before you to Galilee.” (Matt. 26)

And Exhibit B:

At that hour Jesus said to the crowds, “Have you come out as against a robber, with swords and clubs to seize me? Day after day I sat teaching in the temple area, yet you did not arrest me. But all this has come to pass that the writings of the prophets may be fulfilled

And even regarding poor Judas (who is the subject of a new Lady Gaga song, btw, but that's another blog for another time):

That is why that field even today is called the Field of Blood.Then was fulfilled what had been said through Jeremiahthe prophet,And they took the thirty pieces of silver, the value of a man with a price on his head, a price set by some of the Israelites, and they paid it out for the potter’s field just as the Lord had commanded me.

It's amazing how many prophecies the Lord fulfills and yet the people (and ourselves) still don't believe or trust him.

So perhaps that is something I can take with me as I go into Holy Week and the Triduum. Our salvation history is good, though it has it's ups and downs. God proves over and over throughout it how He provides and takes care of us, despite us getting off track.

And Jesus fulfills so many prophecies. Perhaps in my 30s some prophecies and promises will be fulfilled :) Though he has so clearly provided and kept promises throughout my 20s too. I don't even know right now what the future could hold. Maybe prophecies will be revealed!

The possibilities are endless. So, ready or not- here comes the drama of Holy Week and I say goodbye to the drama of my 20s!

That is one promise/prophecy I know will be fulfilled :) PS- When I looked for pics/fun things regarding 'drama' urban dictionary's definition is this:

"Something women and especialy teenage girls thrive on. consisting of any number of situations that have an easy solution, wich would bring a fairly good outcome, but these girls choose another, sh***, bad way to deal with it, again consisting of backstabbing, blackmailing/gossiping/betraying their friends, or the all-too-common "I want to break up with him but i still love him!" it drives men and what i like to call "normal" girls nuts."

Haha...oh.

Good-bye 20s! Hello Holy Week and 3-0!

Peace,

Julia

2011-04-10T22:50:00.001-04:00

Oh, and I HAD to share this pic perfect for the 5th Sunday of Lent! I love it! Thanks, S! ;) Oh, the holy humor...HA!

OH, HEY THERE, 5th Week of Lent!

2011-04-10T22:13:00.005-04:00

Just as I've finally been able to catch up with myself and feel all things are right in the world again, Lent is winding down! 2 more weeks 'til the big 3-0 and EASTER. The most important being Easter, of course :) Though I did find a cute party dress for the bday celebration!

The readings today were very Easter-y all focused on the Resurrection and stuff. The first reading from Ezekiel had me at: "I will open your graves and make you rise from them." Oh, I see. Easter is almost here. Thanks for the reminder! I will make these last 2 weeks COUNT.

I'm also making April count as we talked about last week. I just got back from a weekend in the mountains with some of my favesies to celebrate my friend E who just turned 30. We did as we usually do- we detoxed (spa) then we re-toxed with beer, wine, and the like. It was a fabulous weekend!

Above: Girls making margaritas at our mountain hideaway and Veritas Vineyard. Fun fact: Veritas means 'truth'. I believe this is a fitting name for a winery. Why? Because I love wine. Truth. See what I did there?

Weekends like this weekend bring me back to life in many respects. One- the massage I had at the spa was AH-mazing! Fact: I want my feet rubbed with hot stones ALL of the time. Two- being with friends away from the hustle and bustle makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. The alcohol also helps.

So it is fitting that the readings are switching gears towards the Resurrection as we begin to transition to spring FINALLY and the new life that comes with Easter (and Spring Break!)

The Gospel reading today was one of my ultimate faves: the raising of Lazarus. I write and speak about this Gospel passage ALL of the time I'm pretty sure. I had heard it preached on back in college and it kind of changed my life. Or at least the way I looked at myself.

The shortest verse (I believe) in the Bible (0r at least the New Testament) can be found in this story of the raising of Lazarus: "And Jesus wept" (John 11:35). This was also the verse that I held near and dear to my heart for so long because of what the priest had said about it in college. Jesus wept for his dear friend Lazarus showing how much he truly loved him. The priest pointed out that Jesus would do the same for each one of us and for some reason that moved me. Knowing that Jesus loved me and would be so moved if something happened to me as he was for someone he walked and talked and spent time with like Lazarus made me grow in the self-love that I was lacking at the time.

This Gospel has come to mean more to me, however, in recent years. I've paid more attention to Mary and Martha and their reaction to Christ in this story. Christ and Martha have a very interesting and important exchange in which He tells her He IS the "resurrection and the life." He himself hasn't been resurrected yet, though, so Martha can't possibly yet know what this means, but she believes. I've also been taken in the past by Lazarus himself- the stench and all- that he truly had a second shot at life and how amazing this must've been for him and his family.

Today I was struck, though, by what Thomas says. Jesus says he wants to go back to Bethany- where he is wanted and has had his life threatened- because Lazarus is ill. The disciples think he is crazy to go back to a dangerous place where they just came from. Thomas, however, says something to the effect of: "let us go to die with him." Wanting to put his life on the line with Christ and for Christ. However, we know Thomas is the one who doubts the Resurrection.

So Thomas is willing to die with Christ, but not rise? Why is the resurrection the part, for all of us it seems, that is more difficult to believe? We know death is real. Suffering is real. We have experienced it. The joy that comes after, though, is sometimes hard to see or believe when we are in the midst of the suffering (as Thomas was, since he had just seen Jesus suffer and die when he had heard of the news of the Resurrection).

Well, even though I perhaps haven't taken advantage of the redemptive suffering and discipline of Lent as I should've this year, I am ready to focus on the rising :) Seeing certainly is believing- but may we have the faith that Thomas lacked even without seeing just yet.

And may we allow ourselves to rise which also seems to be difficult. We try to keep ourselves and others down. When Jesus tells Lazarus to "come out" of the cave, the dead man walks and lives! If Christ can make the dead man walk again, certainly, he can help us out of whatever is keeping us from truly living.

ONE WEEK 'TIL HOLY WEEK! OMG! Make it count! And live! ;)

Peace,

Julia

Eye on the Prize: April Rools. (Heh.)

2011-04-03T15:45:00.008-04:00

Lent Week 3 came and went and without much resolve in my Lenten promises, unfortunately. I'm still working on 'em, but I haven't been as valiant this Lent as I had hoped. I blame part of the reason on the added temptations associated with the FREAKING LONG distance between now and SPRING BREAK. Humph. A late Easter= late Spring Break at school, and both kids and teachers are starting to go out of their minds. Where Jan and Feb brought at least a couple snow days and some long holiday weekends, March brought none of the above. AND we still have 3 more weeks 'til any reprieve! Ahh!!!

I couldn't find any clever comics or non-obscene pics regarding 'Spring Break', so I thought I'd use this pic of my friend Christine's chair from our FL trip last year. No doubt there is a margarita in a solo cup somewhere behind that towel. Or maybe just in my hand, perhaps. Definitely in my hand, actually.

And so the devil seems to have more time to work on me between now and that week of Easter bliss. The monotony of week after week is certainly is grating on me. That's why I was SO grateful to have a little break and go to visit friends in Richmond last weekend. AND I'm super stoked because this coming weekend I'm going on another VA resort getaway! Huzzah!

Then my cousins will be in town, then it's Birthday/Triduum time, and THEN Alleluia! He is RISEN (AND I GET SPRING BREAK. In Florida. Praise the good Lord!)

I probably should've taken advantage of the time I had in March to reflect as April is going to speed up significantly. But hindsight is 20/20, eh? All I can do is forge ahead and continue to renew my resolutions 'til the end.

Spring does seem to be taking forever to come our way after another long winter, but we know the promise of new life when it does finally come is going to be great. We have to trust in that hope of renewal- that it WILL come! (Like right about now when we are going out of our minds waiting )

I mean...Imma be the Big 30 soon! I don't think I've totally grappled with it, though I surrendered to it a long time ago. Last night, I was with some friends who were in town and we realized I was only 1 of 2 of us out of about 10 in the room still in his/her 20s. I had forgotten that I even still was! Is that sad? I mean, LIVE IN THE NOW, right?

Thanks, Garth, for the sobering advice.

I guess I have been preparing myself so the change won't come as a blow, but at the same time I also need to focus on the present and enjoy what it means to be where I'm at.

Okay, back to Lent. Today's readings had kind of a 'healing' theme to them. The anointing of David- an unlikely king, Psalm 23, St. Paul's call for us to 'Arise', and the healing of the Blind Man.

The theme of healing has been huge for me lately as I have had some pretty specific things happen to teens in one particular class I am teaching this year. I remember how much junior year in high school sucked. There is so much pressure academically, socially, and your body is telling you stupid things. I have always known this class was hurting, but sometimes let their negative attitudes get the best of me. I wasn't being totally conscious of their suffering. Usually when someone is nasty to you, it's not you- it's them. I've known that with these teens, but instead of chalking their sour attitudes to teen angst, I'm really trying to be conscious of what type of healing they are each in need of.

Appropriately, we are starting the chapter of the Anointing of the Sick. Last semester I kind of breezed through this chapter. But this time, I'm really looking forward to using these lessons to open the kids up to Christ's healing power for their lives.

Only HE can touch and heal us. But the good news is, all we need is that touch. His touch is so powerful in the Gospel. I imagine the clay on my own eyes, my own skin. I probably wouldn't have believed, sadly, that when the clay washed off, I would see. But the blind man had faith. He probably was so excited for the possibilities.

I, too, am excited about the possibilities for the school year, for 30, etc. It's important we don't let fear hold back that excitement.

Christ, only say the word and I shall be healed. And may those words involve Spring and Break :) jk. A couple more weeks 'til Easter! Let's do this!! Peace, Julia

Lenten Check In- Week 2- Not Being a Slave to Sin

2011-03-21T17:48:00.005-04:00

Sooo...not surprisingly, perhaps....Week 2 isn't going QUITE as planned.

We had a couple feast days in there (hey, St. Patrick. 'sup, St. Joseph) and I used to be VERY disciplined back in the day and totally not buy into the whole 'Feast Day'/'Sunday' excuse for indulging in the things we have given up for Lent. Unfortunately, for some reason with age, I have become lax in this discipline. And so for like 3 days this past week I wasn't too concerned with keeping my Lenten promises. Sigh.You HAD to be the patron of people who like their drink, didn't you, St. Patrick? I'm not a bit Irish, but I do like an excuse to drink Guinness.

The students are prepping to go to Confession tomorrow and so I was going over the Examination of Conscience with them (which is always a super fun lesson for me. Things inevitably get SO awkward around Commandment #6...especially with freshmen. FUN.)

Amid the jokes and the ridiculous "What If" questions that teeangers LOVE to ask about every possible sin they can think of to entertain their classmates:

(ie- "but what if someone killed like 40 people and then they went and confessed it but they knew they were going to kill more...THEN could the priest break the seal of confession?" You think I'm kidding...)

One of the freshmen girls today raised her hand and said very honestly and vulnerably: "sometimes when I come out of Confession, I am immediately tempted to do the thing I just confessed."

God bless her honest, little soul. How true it is! I immediately commended her for her observation and told the class, "think about it: you are a SAINT once you've said your penance. You've done the right thing! And the devil hates that! He's going to do everything he can to make you want to sin again."

Her comment made me reflect on how I had just gone to confession, was all clean and such, and then let the "off days" of Lent get the best of me.

St. Joseph's Feast day was supposed to be a joyous day for me as I ended my novena. And it was- I got to witness two very holy people get married. A wedding on the feast of St. Joseph! Can't really beat that!

But perhaps I wasn't as focused on Lent and my Lenten promises as I should've been. You know with weddings comes a lot of people you haven't seen in a while and with that (for me) can be the breeding ground for gossip.

So I didn't win round one of Lent as I had wanted (as if it were a competition. I don't know who the round went to if it wasn't me, actually...St. Patrick, perhaps...). Week 2, however, has started convicting me again, it seems. Again, only MONDAY. We'll see if we can get back on track.

I did take some extra time for prayer, however, this weekend and finally finished the part on St. Teresa of Avila in "The Four Teresas" which I had been reading. This passage really convicted me and kind of ties into last week's reflection:

"Thinking of the love Jesus has shown us on the cross helps us to love him in return...If we want to experience a similar conversion in our lives, we can follow her [St Teresa's] advice to always fix our eyes on our crucified Savior. When we do, keeping the commandments becomes easier and easier...."

Truth! Like I said last week- nobody's surprised that when we pray the Stations of the Cross, it's much easier to surrender and give our best to Jesus. HOWEVER, the opposite is also true:

"On the other hand, when we are not seeking a loving relationship with God, we want to be 'free' to act selfishly. Rooting out that selfishness is a necessary first step to loving God."

I know I am seeking a loving relationship with God, but I am also seeking to be selfish at times.

We have these twisted ideas about freedom. Yes- freedom is GOOD. But what we think freedom really looks like can be messed up. I also know I've written about this before, so just bear (or bare? bear. I never get that right) with me.

We think freedom means being able to do whatever we want. And as a single person this temptation, I can tell you, is totally there. But as I found with the whole 'feast day fiasco' sometimes doing whatever we want can really tie us down.

I know I would struggle if some of my freedoms were taken away (convent, anyone? ;) but there is something to be said for the discipline of routine and being accountable to others to an extent. Dependency (versus independence-y?), too, can tie us down. So we just have to be CAREFUL, I guess, no matter our state in life and our gifts, to not let anything (SIN) or anyone limit us.

Last time at women's group, I was reading a passage from True Devotion to Mary that touched upon this topic of slavery. Enslaving people is bad. And so we have this negative connotation of it. But to be a "slave" to Jesus is actually giving our whole selves to Him and it's actually easier because then he can direct us. I know it sounds weird and crazy but this book was talking about the difference about being a slave to Jesus and a servant. A servant just puts in his or her time for a wage and then gets the heck out of there. A slave is indebted to his/her Master and committed to them fully.

I mean if Brit can be a Slave 4 U....

I was going to put a pic of Britney's "Im a Slave 4 U" video or VMA performance here, but I thought a pic of her baring mid-drift amid this Jesus talk would be a stretch...ah, Britney.

...can't we be indebted to Jesus? I mean, we are kinda already there.

Anyways, I know this concept sounds weird and dated- it jarred me at first too. But I do think my perception of freedom can bring me down sometimes. Sometimes I just wish God gave us instructions! Though, I know that's not how free will works.

Freedom/Independence, of course, also brings me much life. I was thinking about this as I was on retreat with the senior students this past week. If I weren't single, I don't think some of the students would connect with me as they do. They think 30 is old, but when you are married with kids it kind of seals the nail in the coffin (no offense to my married, mommy friends! You know how kids' minds work ;) I think they see me as in the same boat as them to some extent and I think this helps my street cred.

Now as beautiful a gift as this is, I'm fully prepared for when God is ready to start taking away some of these single freedoms :) Well, maybe not fully prepared. I'm getting there.

Ah, freedom. Such a beautiful, but dangerous gift. This is why surrendering to Jesus makes everything easier. Imma work on that this week.

Until next time!

Peace,

Julia

Taking Up the Cross...here we go! Week 1

2011-03-11T17:37:00.006-05:00

Lent is off to a good start!

I know it's only been like 3 days, so I shouldn't count chickens or ducks or whatever, but I've actually been really surprised at how I've caught myself a couple of times (Okay, MORE than a couple... ) wanting to speaking negatively about an individual and stopping myself.

ALSO- I found out that my new friend St. Teresa of Avila also was prone to gossip in her day...Huzzah! I mean, imgaine that! There's hope!

Really the fact that I'm able to do ANYTHING about fasting from gossip this Lent is through the help of the Holy Spirit and good friends who are holding me accountable. Truth.

I'm also really proud of my women's group. We said we were going to be better about meeting regularly, and again- it's only been a month- but we met, though just 3 of us. And we had a conversation that, for me, flowed really well from last month's get together.

We talked about Lent (naturally) and also allowed the Holy Spirit to lead us through some spiritual reading. My friend G and I were commenting on how we like the liturgical seasons of Lent and Advent because there are goals and it is for a set period of time. It is somehow more difficult to stay committed to something if the goals are not concrete or end is not in foreseeable future...go figure.

The Lord continues to show me that this direction of working on vanity and selfishness and also being more focused on others/relationships is the way to go this Lent. I felt more convicted of this as I prayed the Stations of the Cross this first Friday.

Again, I don't know why I'm ever surprised how helpful the Stations of the Cross are in leading me to deeper unity with the Lord. I mean - DUH- it's kind of hard to think of anything else when you are walking through various points of Christ carrying his cross!

When I teach sacramentals to my juniors, we mention Stations and as an activity I have them get into groups and come up with their own ways of praying each station. I assign each group a station, they write a prayer as a group, and then we pray the 14th stations as a class. It's worked really well with each class and I'm always impressed with what they come up with.

Teenagers can relate really well to the stations. That may seem weird in this age of entitlement, but I think it's true. I discovered this when I was in parish youth ministry and they always requested to pray stations on retreat, regardless of the time of the liturgical year. I mean, if you think about it, there's a lot that is parallel to their lives: The falling and having to get back up- more than once. The carrying a cross they'd rather not have. The burdens. The trying to see something outside of themselves. Meeting people on their journey like Veronica, Mary, and Simon who can help them.

I used some of the stations that my students had written to guide my own meditation this week. I was particularly struck by a line for the 9th station- when Jesus falls a 3rd time. The student who wrote the station asked the Lord to help us to get up from the fall (which is to be expected) but then he alluded to conversion- a concept I wouldn't expect from a teen. He asked that the Lord help us to CHANGE and to not make the same mistake again.

I don't know if the student grasped the theological truth behind this. Perhaps...he is a smart kid. But it IS true that when we fall, to get up, we need to have a conversion. There needs to be a change to get up and want to keep going.

So this Lent I am working on and hoping for a change. And I agree with my friend G that the finite time limit to focus on this helps.

G and I are also doing a St Joseph's novena. St Joseph really came through for her last year along with Our Lady. I'm hoping the dynamic duo can pull through for me as I journey through Lent with them as my companions.

The sun is starting to peek out from behind those winter clouds...here's to changes during this Lenten journey.

(Also, need I remind you that at the end of this journey, I will be dying to my 20's as the Lord "sends up His Spirit". There will most definitely be spirits involved on my end as well. Just another thing for me to reflect on as I contemplate conversion...I see what you did there, Jesus).

Cheers for change! ;)
Peace,
Julia

Hippies, Hipsters, and Fasting from Myself

2011-03-06T11:04:00.006-05:00

So, this weekend I kind of hosted my own, personal 'Bed-In for Peace' John and Yoko style...

It seemed many of my friends were busying DOING stuff this weekend. And that's fine, because this week I WAS BUSY DOING STUFF TOO. Humph. I am very important.

I actually kind of burned the candle at both ends Wednesday night so much so that I overslept Thursday morning (eep! Made it to school jussstt in time!) I went to an awesome show with my awesome friends- E and Nicole- and we went to see these guys:

(band= Middle Brother. Made up of members of equally awesome bands- Deer Tick and Dawes who also played).

Funny that I saw a band named 'Middle Brother' because I am teaching about Noah and his sons to my freshmen and inevitably the kids ask, "What about Japheth?" (the middle son). Shem- the practically only oldest son in the Bible who doesn't get screwed out of his inheritance- and Ham of the "Tower of Babel" fame are mentioned at length, leaving the kids (who I can only imagine are middle children themselves) protesting in true "middle child syndrome" fashion.

(ps- 'Middle Child Syndrome' is an actual thing. I'm not making it up.)

Actually, since I was left to my own personal bed-in this weekend due to circumstances beyond my control, I started developing a little bit of middle child syndrome myself. Looking at Facebook can also do this to you. (also not making this up).

We start to wonder- as we look at everybody's pictures of BABIES or WEDDINGS or find that people have crazy, exciting lives with jobs that travel or give them fame- what about us?!

Well, hello there, Middle Brother!? What about us indeed?

Which brings me back to my sit-in.

I have always felt the need, for some reason, to be out and about because sitting home is for "LOSERS" (or so I think in my head). Now, often times I choose to stay in because I've been out the night before (again, I am very important) or am just tired of dealing with papers/teenagers/etc. and need to curl up with a glass of wine and breathe for a second lest I curl up in the fetal position.

But when the sit-in is not self-imposed, I start to wonder- what's wrong? Why is everybody else out having a good time without me? (Also, see this fabulous flowchart- ha!)

This is the work of the devil, friends! This weekend's bed-in forced me to not give into temptation, but to exercise PEACE. John and Yoko knew what was up.

Or did they? Was their intention to draw attention to a cause? Or was it a little self indulgent?

These are the thoughts I'm left reflecting on before Lent.

As I mentioned last week, Lent is fast (heh- no pun intended) upon us. This Wednesday! I mentioned some of the resolutions I was tossing around in my head, but I think I've nailed some things down. I mention them to you so you can hold me accountable and maybe we can do some of these in solidarity with one another:

TO DO:

- gonna get back on the Daily Mass train

-stations of the Cross on Fridays (either in private or in community)

- journeying with Teresa of Avila and also the Blessed Mother by praying rosary and doing more spiritual readings/check-ins with these ladies...

GIVING UP:

- GOSSIP.

Yeah, I shamefully admit that this is the sin that does me in. I share this with you very vulnerably, but please DO hold me accountable to it.

I think the Daily Mass thing and journeying with the Blessed Mother will surely help me in fasting from the gossip. I also am going to try, in substituting the gossip, with reaching out to people more. Fasting from myself, really.

The past couple years I've been trying to build myself up from a life change. I finally got the job I wanted, but now I've been wrapped up in it and perhaps focusing too much time on my work and studies. These things have to happen, but my little sit-in made me realize there's a time for self, and a time for others. A time for studies, and a time for parties :) A time for...

wow...it's gone back to 60s love-ins, hasn't it?

Happy Lent, everyone! I take solace in the fact that we are all in this together ;)

Peace,

Julia

Ready for Lent. No, seriously.

2011-02-26T14:44:00.003-05:00

I know. Who says that, right? Who anticipates and counts down the days until Lent?

This girl. Namely 'cause I don't want to get in trouble with my spiritual director ( like when I showed up a couple times for Advent unprepared...) and I also was a girl scout. I like to BE PREPARED. That's just the kinda girl I am ;)

I overpack (because you never know what fashion mood you'll be in or what shoes you'll need!) and I make lists and color-coded piles of folders for work, school, etc. (In a COMPLETELY NON- OCD WAY, mind you). It's just what I do.

But winter makes me LAZY. And so I am anticipating the discipline of Lent. 'Cause I need it!

I've already started to think of some possibilities for my Lenten observance/sacrifice (over-achiever. I KNOW). I definitely need to get back into my routine of Daily Mass. That's just a must. I also haven't done a food fast in a while and I've been meaning to do one....

I also thought of kind of a cool idea- if I do say so myself and I do- of picking a saint to make this journey of Lent with.

It's amazing how much spiritual reading HELPS me in my spiritual life. I can be totally off track and then I read something from Therese of Lisieux or The Sanctifier and I want to run to confession and spend an hour in prayer.

So I think I might pick a saint to talk to/read about throughout Lent. Possibly the Blessed Mother or one of the Teresas I am reading about now.

While I am pretty disciplined and kind of crave it in my life right now, while I was praying this morning and reflecting on a passage Father had spoken about on retreat- John 21 where Jesus asks Peter if he loves Him 3 x- this verse struck me:

"Jesus said to them, "Come, have breakfast." (John 21:12)

RANDOM. I know, right? I'm not even kidding. And it wasn't 'cause I was hungry (though I did immediately go to Trader Joe's afterwards 'cause I had a hankering for the Three Layer Hummus which I am convinced has some kind of nicotine or crack in it because it is SO ADDICTIVE, but that is neither here nor there....) but because my translation said:

"Come, break your fast".

That's not very Lenten, is it? Now, the Bible I was reading was obviously not the New American Bible translation...but I don't think the translation I was reading was way off. We know Jesus often encouraged his disciples to break or examine the rules as they knew them. Not for lack of discipline, but to challenge them and have them examine why they really were doing things.

And so while I wait for the discipline of Lent- as always- I will try to balance with the attitude of the resurrected Jesus. 'Cause we can forget that we are supposed to be a people of rejoicing and feasts!

Feast days are something the Church used to do so well (and still does in certain parts of the world). Let's balance the discipline and desert of Lent with the feast of all the good things we have in our lives and days to come.

Is that okay that I'm entering into Lent already eyeing the Resurrection that comes after it? Meh...doesn't matter what.

So for all you under-achievers...LENT IS COMING! Get on it ;)

Peace,
Julia

2011-02-18T09:24:00.001-05:00

Motivated By Love

2011-02-18T08:54:00.004-05:00

The theme of love continues! My women's prayer group met last night for the first time in a lonnnngggg time. It was way overdue! My friend G led the evening for us and brought us this book (pictured above) to reflect with/on.

I haven't read the book yet- but I intend to! It takes the lives of four famous Catholic Teresas: St. Teresa of Avila, St Therese of Lisieux (I can never spell that right), St. Teresa Benedicta (Edith Stein), and Mother Teresa.

I also haven't done any spiritual reading for myself in a lonnnnngggg time (shhh! don't tell my spiritual director! ;) He had been wanting me to read stuff from Teresa of Avila ('cause she is a sassy sister and we have a lot in common! ;) and then this literally fell into my lap!

G had each of us (there were four of us besides her gathered) read about one of the Teresas. Wouldn't you know I got my girl Teresa of Avila.

I was struck by her persistence and commitment to battling her vanity and selfishness. Like I said, she was a strong, sassy woman- lots of pride! But she practiced humility in a realistic way. She was aware of her faults, but did not beat herself up about them. She- and all the Teresas- balanced humility and confidence in God well. I have had to learn this practice in humility too! And keep learning it!

The reading on Teresa of Avila also reminded me of something so simple- all of our actions should be motivated by love. For as practical and down to earth as she was, she also had a great, deep love for Jesus. And she let that be the motivating factor in all her actions.

I have learned to surrender things and to do things for Jesus, but even those things can be done out of a different place sometime- out of knowledge or practicality- not always of a conscientious love.

I did do some spiritual reading earlier this week- but it was for my grad class. We read "Disciples of the Lord: Sharing the Vision" which Archbishop Wuerl of DC came up with (I believe) last summer. It is a good read- inspiring and practical. It encourages us practicing Catholics to reach out to those non-practicing or fallen away in a non-confrontational way.

This concept of "re-evangelizing" those who have already heard the Good News of Scripture and the Church is what JP2 called the "New Evangelization". So, reaching out to people who have been catechized but no longer practice or aka- a large percentage of Catholics, unfortuantely.

To do this, we have to come out of a place of love. It can't be motivated by pride or just merely knowledge. It has to be motivated by love, which goes back to my Teresa of Avila reminder. I DO feel called to New Evangelization, in whatever state in life I might be called to. I have been priveleged to work with teens in a very strong Catholic diocese. They know their faith. The challenge is making it meaningful for them. This where I believe the New Evangelization comes in.

So this week has put me back on a path of digging into spiritual reading for myself so that I might live this call I feel to New Evangelization. And above all, the call to do all things with love.

So far, this year has had lots of themes of Love! Bring it!

Hope you all are well!

Peace,

Julia

The Mystery of Love

2011-02-12T09:02:00.004-05:00

I can't believe it's been two weeks since retreat! Which means a.) I've been BUSY. b.) I haven't even really begun to unpack all that was retreat. Yikes!

Enter Valentine's Day :) The day we naturally turn our minds towards love.

This is NOT going to be lonely hearts post 'cause I've DONE THAT.

I'm in a different place this year. God has been very faithful.

I'm still "living the mystery" (which I also just realized I wrote in the month of February last year. Something to be said for those seasonal cycles!) but I think I'm content with it, for the most part.

Also, the readings for this Sunday are very different than the twisted, cycnical ones I rejoiced in last year. They are mysterious...and also kind of hopeful. Yeah! :)

The first reading is from Sirach (note: I just taught about deuterocanonical books so Sirach is fresh in my mind. Win!):

If you choose you can keep the commandments, they will save you;

if you trust in God, you too shall live;he has set before you fire and water

to whichever you choose, stretch forth your hand.

Before man are life and death, good and evil, whichever he chooses shall be given him.

Immense is the wisdom of the Lord;he is mighty in power, and all-seeing.

The eyes of God are on those who fear him;he understands man’s every deed.

No one does he command to act unjustly,to none does he give license to sin.

Okay, so maybe this isn't uber mysterious, but there is a mystery to choice and free will. My students often ask, why did God give us free will if He knows we are going to mess up? I always answer them with, "well how many of you like to be forced to do something? Didn't think so. Aren't things much more special when you choose?" Answer: yes.

God gives us free will out of his immense love for us. Score 1 point for the goodness of retreat!

Okay, next up- my man, St. Paul (henceforth, MMSP):

Brothers and sisters: We speak a wisdom to those who are mature,not a wisdom of this age,

nor of the rulers of this age who are passing away.

Rather, we speak God’s wisdom, mysterious, hidden,

which God predetermined before the ages for our glory,

and which none of the rulers of this age knew;

or, if they had known it,they would not have crucified the Lord of glory.

But as it is written:What eye has not seen, and ear has not heard,

and what has not entered the human heart,

what God has prepared for those who love him,

this God has revealed to us through the Spirit.
For the Spirit scrutinizes everything, even the depths of God

Um, what was that St. Paul? I don't quite follow you. We speak a wisdom but not one of this age? Nor of dead guys? Then of who?! Oh, right, Jesus.

But this kind of goes with the question my students ask: "if God knew from before time He would have to save us, then why didn't he....(insert this, that or the other here)"

Again, the answer: Love. (And the light of the Holy Spirit! The Sanctifier #FTW. Remember when I was obsessed with that book? I think I need it in my life again...)

Love cannot be forced. And love is a mystery. MMSP says: "what eye has not seen and ear has not heard...God has prepared for those who love him"

We can't even imagine what awaits us if we keep the faith.

And God even gives us little consolations to keep us going while we are here on earth. I've been reminded of that of late.

Yesterday was the feast of Our Lady of Lourdes. I wrote about how during Advent I committed to pray a rosary in the car on the way to work each morning. That is a practice I have (somewhat) continued, but had failed at lately. I felt the urge to pray one yesterday, but I am too stupid in the morning (see exhibit A: this is something I have long said about coffee makers):

to realize what day it is, let alone an important feast day. (I need coffee before I can do anything. I swear decisions are not my own otherwise).

Anyways, so I decided to pray a rosary and to give things up to the Blessed Mother as I had once done much more intentionally.

Come to find once I showed up at Mass that it was Feb. 11- the feast of Our Lady of Lourdes!

Our Lady of Lourdes was/is very special to my friend in my women's group and she actually made a pilgrimmage there last year. I'm sure I've referenced it in this blog before too. Her experience (and answered prayers!!) inspired me and I entrusted a thing or two to our Lady a while back because of the HOPE brought about by that devotion.

I am inspired to once again entrust things to Jesus through Mary this Valentine's/Lourdes/Lovefest this weekend :)

I also had time to make a holy hour yesterday for the first time in a longgggg time. Not only was the time with Jesus very fruitful, but I ran into a couple people I knew and wasn't expecting to see! It was a good reminder that Jesus has placed the right people in my life at the right time throughout my personal journey with Him. (There is hope :)

Oh, and the Gospel this week? Maybe a little cynical/ironic for Valentines just because God has a sense of humor (and Jesus was single, am I right? :):

You have heard that it was said, You shall not commit adultery. But I say to you, everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Keep it clean this weekend, kids ;) Lest this happen....

If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one of your members than to have your whole body thrown into Gehenna. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one of your membersthan to have your whole body go into Gehenna."

Indeed. Happy Valentine's Day! ;)

Peace,

Julia

Retreat- "Intense Love"

2011-01-31T18:41:00.004-05:00

We kind of look like the poster children for retreats, don't we? :)

What a week!!

I finished my first semester as a teacher, had to go without heat or power in my house for the 2nd time in like 2 weeks (3rd time in a year), AND had an awesome retreat with some amazing people.

My head is going to kind of explode with all the awesomeness/tiredness that is my life right now, but I just wanted to highlight the retreat 'cause I know alot of you were praying for us (thanks! ;).

My spiritual director led 13 friends and I on a retreat in Middleburg, VA this past weekend. Father picked the theme centered around "Intense Love" and gave 5 talks about 5 "amorous mysteries": 1 John 4 (God is Love), John 3:16-17 (For God so Loved the World), Matt 22: 37-39 (Love of God and Love of Neighbor), John 15:13 (No Greater Love ), and 1 John 4:16-19 (We Love Because He First Loved Us)

Some points that really hit home for me were some of Father's starting points:

- Love is based in trust and faith. If we don't have faith/belief and then do not trust in that faith/belief- we cannot love.

- We have to be open and accept love.

- God is the source of all love.

Father also talked about the love languages, four loves, and how God fits into and expresses all these types of love. I was particularly struck by the romantic love of God.

I still have to reflect on all that God is doing and has done in the past year since last retreat, but God has certainly proven His Love for me and I feel Him asking me to be open as I was when I was discerning the convent. The discernment process before I entered required this trust, faith, and acceptance of God's love- also, I had to examine the romantic love of God since He was going to be the main Man in my life!

It was really cool to see that from all different vocations- there were 3 couples on retreat, some singles, a married mom, and 2 engaged folks-we all connected to this theme of the "Intense Love of God" in different ways.

There were 14 of us- the same number of retreatants we had last year ;) Some of the folks were the same, some new. The snow and power outages put some kinks in our plans last minute, but the snow ended up adding a peaceful stillness for me in the end. As someone who has been vocal about how much I dislike snow and winter, I found myself enjoying the snow covered, quiet scenery on retreat.

I also find it interesting that we've had 14 people on retreat both years. Teaching Old Testament, I teach my students how the Gospel writer Matthew used the number 14 in his genealogy to bring the point home that Jesus was from David and therefore the Messiah. 7 is a symbol of a sacred oath or covenant in Hebrew culture and so the number 14 was doubly perfect! I like to think the same of our group: doubly perfect! :)

The retreat was definitely a great way to start 2011 and to end my first semester. I'm so blessed to have such great friends and spiritual director!

Here's to "intense love" in 2011 ;) Thanks again for your prayers!

Peace,

Julia

Wintry Mix

2011-01-22T08:02:00.009-05:00

So, I kind of have the 'winter blues'. It's been uber cold this winter so far, but thankfully not TOO much snow (like Christmas '09 and early '10). But I just don't do well with cold. Especially when it is kind of overcast which has been the case pretty much the whole month of Jan.

My moods very much go with the seasons. In Spring, I always seem to have the hope that seeds planted will grow. In the summer, I bask in the warmth of the sun and enjoy the process that is faith. In fall, I reap the harvest of the seeds and fruits that were planted and grown through spring and summer. But winter....after we put away the lights from Christmas....always feels kind of dead.

Even with the hope of the new year, the lifelessness that surrounds me in nature kind of brings me down. Plus, we retreat into our homes since it's so freaking cold outside (and actually, this year, we were cold INSIDE. Our heat broke down SEVERAL TIMES).

The first night without heat was perhaps okay. It was kind of exciting frontiering the whole thing. My roommates and I were building a fire, gathering all the space heaters and blankets we could find, and made it a community event. But as it continued throughout the week, we started to disperse. We would go to respective friends' houses or take turns being the one to stay home alone waiting for the heating guy to come and would gather all the space heaters around our cold, lonesome selves.

Kind of depressing.

Well, THE HEAT IS ON again (I hope this doesn't jinx us, but I continually played this Glenn Frey song throughout the week. YOU ARE WELCOME for this 80s reminder! :) but I'm struggling to get out of the wintry mix that's still kind of lingering inside.

At the beginning of this month, I was still into the liturgical feast-ing going on. I kind of love the feast of the Baptism of Our Lord. All the imagery of new life through water that Christ has given us by his birth and death. I have been subbing for a friend of mine's parish- playing piano all month for Mass. The liturgy was really well done on the feast of the Baptism. We all received holy water and renewed our baptismal vows.

Having taught Baptism in my Sacraments course this past semester (WHICH IS NOW OVER! HUZZAH! I'm kind of 'second year' teacher in a way now 'cause I get to reuse my lesson plans!!! phew!) and taking grad school classes on liturgical catechesis and formation-I appreciate all the more now the gifts of our baptism and its effects on us.

But now we are in Ordinary Time. And not to knock it, but after all this feasting...where did the party go, Church???

This weekend marks the anniversary of the decision of Roe v Wade and while you know me- I'm not going to go into the politics of it (like a true moderate ;) - I am always blown away by the amount of prayer that goes on at all these events the weekend before the March for Life. Our Church community really rises up and comes together in PRAYER and that is something I think anyone would say is the real importance of this time.

While abortion is a dark issue and winter a dark time, we manage to make the most of it and focus on the need for prayer in our world. Last night I participated in a holy hour that a Catholic musician friend of mine was playing at. I met him through our Arlington Diocesan Workcamps, but hadn't seen him in a while. When he started playing, the good times and fruits that I usually associate with my summer Workcamp experience became present. And Jesus of course was also very present :)

While speaking about the pro-life movement, my friend read Romans 5:3-5:

"but we even boast of our afflictions, knowing that affliction produces endurance,
and endurance, proven character, and proven character, hope,
and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out into our hearts through the holy Spirit that has been given to us."

I know I've written about hope time and time again and probaby used this verse. But we can never hear about HOPE too much. This time, the "boasting in afflictions" and "proven character" really struck me. It's hard to make ourselves vulnerable and boast in our afflictions in a way that isn't self pity, but really shows the good work Christ has done in us. And making ourselves vulnerable and focusing on Christ gives us character. Every challenge that comes our way produces character- PROVEN character. And then HOPE. Which our world so desperately needs. We ALL need and want hope.

He also sang a few songs that meant a lot to me, but then sang "Here I Am Lord" which- as a music minister- I've come to roll my eyes at and almost distain (no offense, Dan Schutte :) just because it is SO overused it has become trite to me. But the way my friend sang it yesterday...he told us to really focus on the words. I was sitting there going, "yeah, yeah- Here I am Lord. I get it. Use me for your mission. Send me....I've said this all before. I'm always GOING. I'm always BEING SENT. Whatever."

But for some reason the "If You lead me" line stuck out to me this time. He will not send us out alone and we cannot do anything on our own. We can only do what He leads us to do and He will lead us if it is His Will. So we need not worry about persevering alone, which is perhaps what the winter blues sometimes make us feel- that we are in this cold world alone.

So while there is darkness and overcast and cold- there is hope.

I'm soooooooooooo looking forward to RETREAT NEXT WEEKEND. You cannot even believe!! This current pro-life weekend is certainly going to be very prayerful and produce much fruit. But I hope it's only a prequel to next weekend :)

We are united in prayer, folks! This season and this weekend in particular.

OH! And Here are some high (and low lights ;) of this month:

Celebrating my college friend (whose parish I've currently been playing for) as he is honored for his past 7 years in ministry there.

Me in my hoodie scarf and snuggie, braving the cold that was OUR HOUSE ;(

Until next time-
Peace,
Julia

Christmas, New Years, Epiphany: Man, I Love a Party!

2011-01-02T15:58:00.008-05:00

In some ways, the Christmas season isn't as exciting as when we were children. Some elements of magic and mystery are certainly gone. But in other ways, the knowledge that comes with the wisdom of being older brings an added beauty to the season (And 2011 will bring about my 30th birthday, speaking of getting older. Yipes! You know there will be blogs. It's also on GOOD FRIDAY...you know there will be themes ;)

And let's not also forget that Christmas still means there's a good reason to party ;)

Though the event of Christmas may not be as magical as when we were children, we know that Christmas isn't about magic. It's about a Gift. And that Gift can sometimes be uncomfortable (like when you get socks or an awful jumpsuit or something, but not this year- I got GIFT CARDS 'cause my family is AWESOME! ;) it is ultimately a reason to give thanks and celebrate. The Gift of Life, Love, (er, Liberty? but of course! Jesus= Freedom:)

Christmas gives us a time to celebrate as does the promise of the New Year. I heard a sermon on my way to Mass this morning (that's right- I pregame sermons WITH sermons! I'm an overachiever) on (surprisingly) a secular station that was talking about how at New Years we celebrate because we have new expectations. And we delight in- almost as we did as children at Christmas- at the "magic" of what God could possibly do for us this year.

But we all KNOW that God doesn't give us everything we expect/ask. He often throws curve balls and that can make us uncomfortable. But He always gives us what we need at the time.

Really, the only thing we can expect is to become uncomfortable at some point in our year. Not to be a Debbie Downer, but because of our Original Sin, it just happens. And it's not necessarily something super sad or sick or suffering (though those things might happen) but we can expect to be taken out of our comfort zones at some point this year, whether it be a conversation with someone or something more dramatic like a change at work or relationships. The only promise we can really expect God to keep is that He will help to make us the best woman or man we can be. And sometimes that hurts.

But this post is about parties!! Today is the feast of the Epiphany. We remember the three wise men arriving to worship the baby they studied and heard about. Theirs was probably not always a comfortable situation. It was a long trip, they were traveling in community (can you imagine how many "are we there yets?" Ugh. I can't.), were probably wondering if there really was anything under that star anyway, and how would the news of what they found change them.

Plus, they were men of wealth and power. They didn't go to babies, they made babies come to THEM? Right?! Yet they humbled themselves and made the long trek on their own. And when they got there, they rejoiced and worshiped a baby who had not yet proven to be as great or as powerful as they. But they went on faith. They made the most out of the situation, out of the journey- and they were pleased with what they found- even if it wasn't what they had expected.

The priest at Mass this morning spoke of Archbishop Fulton Sheen's theory that people are sometimes frightened to go to the manger. We occupy ourselves with so much at Christmas- but do we really approach the manger like the wise men do? With wonder and awe, humility, curiosity? Or do we go with our expectations? Or do we not go at all because we are afraid of what the journey might bring? That the journey is too great or too hard?

That journey to the manger theory, as well as the sermon on expectations and comfort this morning, were good challenges for me in this new year. I really don't have any expectations for 2011. I have some hopes, but I don't know what I'm expecting. I wonder if that's a good thing or not. Maybe I can try to be like the wise men and study, hope, and journey- even without expectation- and just rejoice. Though it is good to expect something from God. I do know I look forward to the end of this month when my spiritual director will lead a retreat for some friends and myself. I expect to be brought out of my comfort zone and challenged that weekend. I also expect to have a little fun :)

What are your reflections on Epiphany? There are so many elements of this feast to think about. It's a shame that often the part of the wise man in the school nativity play gets second fiddle :) I think one year we cut out the shepherds and wise men altogether but somehow had an angel and a donkey...hmm...

Regardless, Epiphany's pretty important. The Christmas season is drawing to a close, but I'm holding on until the Feast of the Baptism of our Lord for one last good week of Christmas celebrating!

Speaking of celebrating, above are some highlights from my Christmas season so far! (You will note in particular my...er, well, highlights... as well as new bangs which are recent features ;)

Above pics: Roommates and I at our annual Christmas Open House, a friend and I out for New Year's Eve, and my new nephew and I on Christmas Day.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Peace,

Julia

More Fun With Social Networking

2010-12-16T21:32:00.003-05:00

In addition to the random gchat I just posted, I thought I also should include this tweet exchange I found humorous from today:

I tweeted: "Was thinking I needed to start a novena soon and realized O Antiphons start tomorrow!"

My friend in response to my tweet: "@julz422 I only understand a few words of this".

Haha! We Catholics definitely have our own lingo. I forget how strange we must sound....

...and yes, I tweet about novenas and liturgical seasons. Are we surprised?

Peace,
Julia

My YM Friends Try Group GChat and Talk Liturgical Colors...WHAT?!

2010-12-16T19:41:00.006-05:00

It was a cold, snowy night tonight, and as those of you who have been following my blog for a while know- DC shuts down when cold and snowy merge together.

And so I sat with nowhere to go- in my snuggie, on my couch with my computer as I let it snow (x3 ;) and decided to engage in gchat- something I had not done much of since I became a school teacher. (Gchat had served me well when I worked a 9-5 office job- just saying. And that Google Reader wasn't going to read ITSELF. Geez... ;)

Some friends I had met up with the night before for happy hour were online and invited me to chat as a group so we could chat about the next time we could meet up for drinks.

This group gchat thing was new to me, but I must say, it produced the most ridiculously awesome conversation that I just had to share.

*Disclaimer* my friends are also young women involved in youth ministry...oh, and a seminarian. Okay. You've been prepped/warned:

After coordinating a happy hour for next week (amid other things ;) we begin discussing the origin of why my roommates and I call each other "jinger". If you don't know, you better ask somebody. Or look here: http://hebrews121-3.blogspot.com/2008/09/jingers-and-current-obsessions.html

Sem: Tell me again why it is 'jinger?'

Me: Oh, Jinger is from the Duggar family, but it sounds dirty, so we've made it commonplace ;)

Friend 2: making dirty things commonplace, eh?

Friend 1: sounds about right

Sem: soon I'll be making sinful things clean

Friend 1: he threw the purple card.... he just threw the purple card!

Me: I was just saying my seminarian friends become more useful to me when they can "do the sacraments" :)

Sem: See Julia, you can have a 4th category for male friends.

(he is referring to my "rules" for guy friends. I simply just have too many, so I've made them choose one of three things to earn their keep. Well, ideally. For seminarian friends, it is more difficult. Another friend made this genius flowchart to help: https://docs.google.com/drawings/edit?id=1iYG-5fOZTkG_kbL6URWsP9WzENMPgPA4W927fgq_AWc&hl=en)

Me: hmmm...i'll think about it. i suppose i can keep you around if you can say Mass for me and make my soul clean

Sem: [ going back to the 'purple card' reference] Are you a liturgical ref, [Friend 1]? We'll have to get you a uniform for that...

Friend 2: Friend 1 has plenty of outfits that coordinate with liturgical seasons...

Me: haha! YES

Friend 2:...and holy days

Friend 1: it's true. sad, but true

Me: The Church needs to make Shitake mushroom a liturgical color...or taupe. I have lots of neutrals...

Friend 1: perhaps they could do taupe on days where we celebrate hermits? or desert fathers?!

Me: YES

Friend 1: st. john the baptist?

Me: indeed!

Friend 2: Friend 1, you're the only person i know that would get all exclamation pointy over desert fathers. well, maybe julia too...

Me: I love me my mystagogues, too. WHAT.

Sem: not a bad idea. Except for that whole beheading thing.. gotta go with red

Me: but JTB was Christ's COUSIN he should get his own color

Friend 2: omigosh it's raining church nerds in here.

Andddd.....scene :)

Just another gchat in the life of a youth minister!

Yeah, we need to get out more. Let's hope this snow doesn't last long! As much as I would love another snowpacolypse..

Peace,

Julia

Today I Figured Out Why I'm Single

2010-12-07T19:46:00.010-05:00

Now, clearly I title this blogpost with my tongue in cheek as it were, but I was observing at my LAST grad school class of the semester (whoo hoo!) with my fellow classmates the demographics of our class. Observe with me, won't you?

- A Latina Sister

- An African Priest

- A consecrated Christian Brother

- 2 single young women (both teachers! myself and one other twenty something...)

- 1 married woman

- and 2 married men

We were commenting on what a great representation of the Church this is. So diverse! But I had to beg the question...

where's the young, single, cool lay-guy, huh? If this is the perfect demographic of people involved in the Church, then....

Sigh. This is why I am single ;)

There are many theories on why this dilemma exists in the Church (okay, so I named it a dilemma, and I have many theories ;) and my spiritual director is very helpful in affirming me that it's not me it's them... (okay, not in so many words, but...) Anyways, he is just encouraging me to persevere in just pursuing holiness as best I can in the state I am.

Alright, thus ends the single girl rant for now. I swear I feel like Carrie from Sex in the City typing about my foibles as a single girl (the Catholic edition, of course ;)

I've mentioned the last couple posts how excited I am to enter into Advent because I've needed a renewed sense of sacrifice and zeal. I love how the Church has these penitential seasons built in to lead us towards this kind of reflection.

Father also pointed out to me this week in spiritual direction that the word Advent is within the word "adventure". Heh. Clever! This also helps remind me that Advent is about beginnings. We have to trust that God has adventure and new beginnings for us this season.

Anyways, also on the plus side of all of this- it was my last class for the semester and I breathed a sigh of relief that I will never again be a first year teacher and a grad student at the same time!!

Hope your Advent is going well!
Peace,

Julia

Advent Resolutions

2010-11-30T09:11:00.003-05:00

I arrived home from Thanksgiving break last night to Christmas lights, a Christmas tree, and decorations galore! My Martha Stewart-esque roommate wastes no. time. It must be Advent!

Some of you have asked about what kind of Advent resolutions I am making. One that I can share is that I am making a conscious effort to say a rosary every morning. I have gotten out of the habit of saying a full rosary everyday. So I put my rosary that I usually carry in my purse by where I place my ipod in my car. My commute in the morning is usually 30-40 minutes, during which I typically pretend to be Sara Bareilles or Lea Michele from Glee and sing from the top of my lungs while downing my morning coffee. This ritual will now be replaced for the time being with a morning rosary. Upon completion of the rosary I can commence my delusional superstardom for the duration of the commute :)

Turns out, when you say a rosary in the car, one is also much less likely to swear at fellow morning commuters from behind the wheel. Go figure!

I also am going to make this season truly penitential and give up something. Typically done during Lent, I'm going to give up sweets this Advent. I know that with upcoming Christmas parties this is going to be a feat, but I hope it will remind me of the waiting that we are observing and make Christmas all that more celebratory!

I also want to unite all of my waiting with Mary and Christ. Anytime I get impatient or frustrated with someone or something in my life that I am having to "wait" for, I hope to offer it up with the waiting during this liturgical season.

I have a couple other little Advent observences that I'm offering up, but that's just for me and Jesus ;)

I am also looking forward to Spiritual Direction on Dec. 4. It is much needed! I'm sure I'll have more insight to share after I meet with Father this weekend....until then....

Happy Advent! What resolutions are you making this new year?

Peace,
Julia

The Year in Pics...

2010-11-21T20:37:00.003-05:00

Girls Getaway Weekend, Wintergreen, VA, Nov. 2010

My dear friend and her little miracle! May, 2010

Me and my new nephew Lucas, Oct. 2010

Visiting friends in CA! May, 2010

Florida Trip! May 2010

Snowpocalypse Feb 2010

Retreat! Jan 2010

Youth Ministry Retreat Feb. 2010

Dressing up like Lady Gaga for my 29th bday, April 2010

Countdown to the New Year!

2010-11-21T20:15:00.002-05:00

10! 9! 8! 7!...

The new liturgical year that is ;) Man, I'm such a liturgical NERD. For reals.

Today was the feast of Christ the King! That means a.) Advent is almost here and b.) it is the end of our liturgical year! CRAZY!

I was just looking back today on Facebook at my pics from this year. I was able to add yet MORE fall winetasting pics as I just returned from another great getaway weekend. As I looked back at my pics from this year, there were lots of fabulous trips filled with lots of faces of fabulous friends.

Christ the King/beginning of Advent also coincide with the American celebration of Thanksgiving. As I looked back at 2010 and this liturgical year, SO much to be thankful for. New job, new nephew, lots of trips like I said, grad school classes...and most importantly...I think I got my groove back ;)

I'm back in ministry, and I've had some boosts of confidence here and there...and yet I still find myself questioning God about the path He has led me on.

Today's readings for Christ the King really fit in with what I'm teaching the freshmen of late. We are talking about the Davidic covenant and how he was a man after God's own heart, though not perfect. Because God has a special relationship with David, he says that he will be a king and his descendants as well. Christ, of course, is one of these descendants and we all know that His type of reign as king is not what was expected.

I was thinking as I was sitting in Mass today (which was really a beautiful celebration. The parish I went to really did up the 'end of the year' theme right. They chose a lot of songs, too, that made me reflect on my days in youth group and music ministry as a teen. It was a good reminder of where I have been on my journey...) that if God can send a Savior so perfectly through the line of David...so many prophets predicting how He would be born and die, all of it matching up so perfectly...how can I question God's plan for me??

I'm also trying to stress to my teens that we are all a continuing part of Salvation History. Part of the covenant God made to David is that his line would never end. Some of the students questioned this...how could the line never end? Well, Jesus was a part of that line and he opened up all eternity for all of us! Done and done ;)

I remember when I went to spiritual direction around the time of Advent last year, Father called me out for being halfway through the season and not really having made any commitments to celebrate Advent. As I sat in Mass tonight, I also started thinking about how I could honor the upcoming season in a special way. As I wrote last week, I can feel this aching for reflection and for penance. I haven't been sacrificing as much as I used to. I think I was in waiting for so long- looking for a new job, and just re-grouping after my multiple 'life changes'- that I thought that was sacrifice enough and I've just been basking in the abundance of late. God certainly wants us to enjoy and rejoice, and I will continue to do so at Christmas, but I think it's time for a little penitential season-ing...time to make a little sacrifice as we all lie in wait for the Savior.

I'm going to take this week to meditate on how I can reflect more during the season and also offer up more in this season of penance as we wait for the light in the darkness.

How are you going to celebrate the new year? ;)

Happy Thanksgiving and Happy Feast of Christ the King!
Peace,
Julia

I Gotta Feeling or Aching for Advent

2010-11-14T13:22:00.002-05:00

One of my youth ministry colleagues tweeted this week that he could "feel Advent coming. Aching for Our Lord's return." And I thought to myself: "aha! That's what I'm feeling/missing..." His tweet made sense to me. (the power of Twitter, I tell you! Media! ;)

I've talked before about the cycle of the spiritual life and how we are often in tune with the goings on of the earth around us. We can sense the cold coming and we need the Lord to keep us on track- to be our Light in the Darkness, which is what we celebrate at Advent.

Last winter, my spiritual director led a retreat for some friends of mine and myself and it's time for us to start planning again. It feels like it is about that time. I am in need of Advent- a time of reflection. In need of a change of liturgical season to bring a challenge, bring repentance, bring me Jesus.

I remember before I left for NET and after I graduated from CUA, my friend put together a little photo album for me to take with me on the road. It had a message in it from our campus minister at the time who encouraged me to "bring 'em Jesus, Jules"- referring to the teens I'd be encountering that year and all the families I'd meet, really.

That message of "bring 'em Jesus" has been in my mind lately with teaching as I've switched from mere textbook lesson planning to really trying to bring ministry into the classroom. Last Friday, the chaplain at the school exposed the Blessed Sacrament for my two junior classes as we were wrapping up a unit on the Eucharist. I wasn't sure how the teens would react- I was pretty sure they would just talk the whole time, fidget, or fall asleep. I was surprised to find they were quiet and respectful, some of them even sung the songs with me! And after Adoration when we went back to the classroom, there seemed to be a different feel about them. A different tone to their demeanor and their interactions. I don't know why I was surprised- they had encountered Jesus- whether they realized it or not.

I've been really comfortable lately. My grad school paper is nearly done, I've gotten a handle on teaching and lesson planning, I have a good balance going between social life and taking time for other elements in my life....is it time for a change? I kind of want to hold onto fall. I love this season. And I hate winter. I hate the cold, I hate the snow. I want to hold onto the comfort of light coats and sitting outside in the sun with friends. I don't like that it is starting to get darker...

but with that darkness comes the need for the light. And I am ready for Jesus to enter into my life in a new way- to bring light to any darkness that might exist and shine light upon it.

Speaking of my time on NET, I know I've also mentioned before the Jars of Clay cd I purchased that year on the road and how it continues to be a "light" for me and in an aid in ministry.

I used this song when I was preparing teens for Confirmation at St. John's back in the day, and I recently used it in talking about the same Sacrament in my classroom recently:

Trouble Is- Jars of Clay from "Who We Are Instead"

My wings don't sail me to the sky
On my own, these wings won't fly
Jesus told me so
Still I'm not so sure that I know

Can't find no rest for my soul
Can't find no rest on my own
Jesus told me so
Still I'm not so sure that I know

Man, the trouble is
We don't know who we are instead

I keep running the other way
My heart ain't built to stay
My heart ain't built to stay
And the world just ain't that way

Man, the trouble is
We don't know who we are instead

My heart ain't built to stay
Jesus told me so

I use and continue to use this song because I think it raises that important thought that we "aren't built to stay" here. We are built for heaven. So it's a great song to use when speaking about Sacraments and just to get us thinking about the choices we make while on earth. It also reminds us that we can't do it on our own, we need Jesus and that's why He provides us with the Sacraments to give us the grace and strength we need.

Advent is also a good time to remember "Who We Are Instead". It's a penitential time to think about the ways in which we've tried to do things on our own and failed, but to have that hope of change and strength that is the Light in the darkness- Jesus.

Is it too soon to start singing, "O Come O Come, Emmanuel?!" I'm ready! Not ready for the Christmas commericals or the snow though...can't Hallmark wait 'til at least Thanksgiving to tug on my heartstrings?? ;)

Peace,
Julia

Matters of Life and Death

2010-11-02T21:30:00.005-04:00

Soo...I'm an aunt now.

My younger sister gave birth to Lucas John this past weekend. It's our parents' first grandchild, the first great grandchild on my mom's side, my first nephew, my first godson...

No pressure, kid. ;)

We were all super excited, of course. And everything hits much closer to home when it happens, well...at home.

Like, babies are cute and all, but I really do think he is just that much cuter 'cause he's related to me. He's got good genes, what can I say?

Lucas also came at seriously the perfect time. I wasn't sure if I was going to make it home for the birth, being a new teacher and all. I had a friend who said he would sub for me, but with Thanksgiving just a couple weeks away, I thought I would just see what happened and maybe just make my next visit the big turkey weekend.

But God had other plans. And as usual, they are perfect.

When my brother in law called me on Saturday morning at like 9:30am, I immediately said I would hop in my car and make the 6 hour drive to Ohio. By the time I got there around 4pm, my sis had just started going into her harder labor and about 5 hours after that, we had welcomed Lucas to this side of the world (the outside ;) I had plenty of time to grade papers, get some sleep, and hop back in the car the next day.

Lucas' birth also comes at a time after the school where I work at had just suffered a shocking loss.

A young, new teacher who had just graduated from college and started teaching with me died suddenly last week. He was such a nice guy and still hasn't hit me that he's gone.

On my first day of training, he was the first person I met. Since he was new too, we comiserated about lesson planning and getting to know the kids as new teachers. We often had lunch together and had just chaperoned the Homecoming dance. When I got the email that he had passed away, I didn't believe it. I still feel like I am going to see him in the hallways.

Rob's funeral was today. The place of course was packed and it was very moving. The priest did a good job of making us laugh and cry at the same time, while focusing on the joy of Rob's life and the joy of his final resting place in heaven.

I've been teaching the kids in my Sacraments class about the Eucharist. I had just taught a lesson about the Eucharist being our Heaven on Earth. I have decided to forgo the textbooks a little this Chapter, since the Eucharist is so near and dear to my heart. I want it to be special for the kids. Lessons they will remember. Anyway, we had just talked about how- next to heaven- the Eucharist is as close as we can get to complete union with God. I really challenged the kids to ask themselves if union with God is something they even desire. We all know teenagers often get wrapped up in themselves, but one of my students when I asked, 'What do you care about?' honestly answered, 'Ourselves'. That is scary!

But the experience of birth and death takes us outside of ourselves and forces us to be in community. After that funeral Mass, I wanted to be with the community of teachers and students to share our stories of Rob and just be together. I wanted to be with my family during Lucas' birth and then to share the stories with my roommates and friends after.

The Eucharist is a communal event. I am trying to teach the kids that is highly personal, but also highly communal. Getting them to have a personal relationship with God one on one and then go out and share that relationship are two extremely hard things for them. But that is why we have the grace of the Sacraments. We cannot do it on our own.

Please join me in prayers of Thanksgiving for my nephew (and soon to be godson)! And please continue to pray for Rob and the repose of his soul. It couldnt of happened at a more perfect time, though- the funeral was on the feast of All Souls and we celebrated All Saints yesterday as a community too. I know Rob is in union with the saints and angels. I pray he will greet us with Christ one day.

Peace,

Julia

From Babel to Baptism or Thank God for the Holy Spirit

2010-10-12T18:33:00.007-04:00

"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own?"

Here comes that Holy Spirit guy again...

Not surprisingly, this quote from St. Paul was helpful to me in my prayer today. And also not surprisingly, it kind of ties in to what I've been teaching these days to my Freshmen and Junior (Scripture and Sacraments) students respectively.

First of all, let me just say I KNOW how annoying it is when all people seem to be able to talk about is their kids and I KNOW it seems like teachers are just as bad when talking about their students. I get it. I just can't help it, though, when all of these aspects of my life intersect. But I'm glad they do, and I believe God uses my prayer to help me teach. I just have to always be aware of what is for me, what is for them, and what can be used in both realms.

So I'm actually teaching about Abraham and his crew lately in my Scripture class. Let me just say the topics of sodomy, incest, and polygamy are not fun to teach about in general...let alone to freshmen in high school. You can imagine my pain; the looks, the comments, yeah. They are totally 15.

So today we were talking about Isaac and how he sees the beautiful Rebekah and then we do the math that Rebekah is Nahor's granddaughter, and Nahor is Abraham's brother. Isaac is Abraham's son, sooo....

Yeah. And it doesn't get better with Isaac's son Jacob. Two wives. Who are literally SISTERS. Umm...

How is this all part of our Salvation History again?

And the kids totally call me out on that. "Why does God allow incest? Polygamy? The like? And if it was okay back then, how come it's not now?"

Okay, first of all, do we really have to ask the question of why is it not okay now? And second of all, we know the all encompassing answer for "why does God allow...(fill in the blank here)" questions...right?

The standard answer is: God gives us free will. And he can use even our sinfulness to do His work through. Also, He makes all things new in Jesus.

Which brings us to the whole 'our bodies are a Temple of the Holy Spirit thing', which was an answer to a question in my Sacraments class: "What are the effects of Baptism?" ( I just went a little Jeopardy on you there. Can you handle it?! ;)

Well, we get all kinds of goodies at Baptism. Things that we often don't realize we have like: virtues, the Holy Spirit, membership into a mystical body...all that good stuff. But thank God for these gifts! The Scripture quote I started with from St. Paul reminds us that we can't do anything on our own, we need the Holy Spirit. And he dwells inside of us due to our Baptism.

Needless to say, our incesteous ancestors coulda used a little Holy Spirit and some Baptism, ya know what I'm saying? No? Okay.

Another one of my all-encompassing answers for the kids in the Old Testament class is that God makes all things NEW with Jesus. So the old ways are done away with because now Jesus is on the scene giving us new ways to follow. (THANK. GOD.)

And so it is with Baptism, our old sins are washed away, making us new in Christ. If only we would tap into those gifts of the Holy Spirit we are given...

Which is where my personal prayer took me today. I surely cannot do anything on my own. I keep remembering that (like I wrote a couple weeks ago when I was reflecting on how I would have to 'run to God' in these new adventures He's placed before me.)

I was also gearing up for this Sunday (as I have to play for a Mass and am picking songs to go with the readings), so I read this Sunday's Gospel which was PERFECT. I know we all feel at times like we are going to God with the SAME things and he must grow tired of hearing us and not want to grant our requests. This Sunday's reading reminds us that being persistant is something:

Jesus told his disciples a parable about the necessity for them to pray always without becoming weary. He said, "There was a judge in a certain townwho neither feared God nor respected any human being. And a widow in that town used to come to him and say,'Render a just decision for me against my adversary.'For a long time the judge was unwilling, but eventually he thought,'While it is true that I neither fear God nor respect any human being, because this widow keeps bothering meI shall deliver a just decision for herlest she finally come and strike me.'" The Lord said, "Pay attention to what the dishonest judge says. Will not God then secure the rights of his chosen oneswho call out to him day and night? Will he be slow to answer them? I tell you, he will see to it that justice is done for them speedily. But when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on earth?" (Luke 18:1-8)

That last question Luke leaves us with Jesus saying is something...what will Jesus find when He comes again?

Thank God for the Holy Spirit dwelling within us. Hopefully, the answer to will be that when He returns we will be taking care of our living temples and not re-enacting one of those earlier biblical scenes...

Oh, yeah, I went there. Salvation history ancestry and all....

Today in my meditation I received hope and confidence once again through the Holy Spirit, who is inside of me with all I need. And God wants to hear and answer our prayers...even if we are being annoying about it.

A pretty good deal for a people who came from...well, technically....I guess....if you think about it...

Yeah. I'd rather not think about it too much either :)

Peace,
Julia

Keepin' the Faith

2010-10-03T16:01:00.004-04:00

How great were the Mass readings today, huh? Not surprisingly exactly what I needed to hear, as per usual.

It's all about faith. I think we forget that sometimes, as silly as that sounds. And what is faith? Belief in things unseen. Somehow I turn my faith into trying to make God show me things. Um, I'm pretty sure that's the laziest way to go about faith ever. I'm supposed to believe without seeing...right?

The Gospel doesn't mince words today. Sassy Jesus is in full effect. The apostles are once again bugging him, asking Him for things they clearly don't know about, and Jesus silences them by saying, "look...I'm only asking you the bare minimum here. These are things you are supposed to do irregardless of reward or increasing anybody's faith. You should only need the faith of the mustard seed. I have given you all you need."

So pop off, apostles!

Just kidding. He doesn't say that.

He's sassy, but He's still the Savior which requires an unfathomable amount of patience, I'm sure.

But yeah, I think we forget sometimes that faith means believing even without the proof. Just this past week, I mentioned that I was praying a novena to St. Therese, wherein, we ask for a proof that God heard our prayer. God allows these types of requests because he knows our hearts and minds are weak and small. St. Therese herself was always declaring herself the smallest, but had immense trust in God. So if these types of prayers are needed in order for us to exercise our trust in God, I believe God uses them as such.

If you are like me, though, even when I pray these novenas, I still don't totally believe the answer all the time. I think I received my roses on Friday...I'm pretty sure...but I still had to question. Is this, then, proper faith?

As Christ said in today's Gospel, we should only need the faith of a mustard seed. I think I've mentioned before that I'm teaching Old Testament to Freshmen and Sacraments to Juniors. Both of these topics require an immense exercise in our faith to believe their truth and power. Most of the book of Genesis is stories that the ancient Hebrew writers used as literary devices to declare spiritual truths about God. Without faith, it's easy for us to think these are just stories. We try to demand proof of their historical accuracy, and this is to diminish some of their value and purpose. Likewise, our Sacraments may use tangible things like water or bread, but without faith, they are just those things- bread and water.

Getting kids to understand faith is tough! They want proof. Did Noah's flood really happen? How does Baptism wash away sin? What do you mean the Flood is a prefigurement of that Baptism?!WHA!? (and this is where I watch their heads explode. Just kidding. That doesn't happen, either :)

We can't prove these things, and even if we could, that's not the point. We rely on faith. God wants us to exercise our faith in Him.

A good reminder today, those readings were. I too often sound like Habakkuk crying out all crazy like to God. But even then He recognizes our faith and answers us, despite the crazy.

And the reading from St. Paul is just plain beautiful, but we all know I'm partial to Paul :) He essentially tells us what Christ does in the Gospel- we have all we need. We just need to tap into it and stir up the faith within us.

Stir up that faith! Get it! Keep the faith!

Keep up prayers for me and the teens I now work with...Thanks!

Until later... (which is most likely when I finish most of my research paper for grad school unfortunately...sigh.)

Peace,
Julia

2010-09-26T12:50:00.001-04:00

Harvesting Grapes!

The "fruits" of our labor...

St. Therese...

...and St. Padre Pio- pray for us!

Relishing Rewards and Relics

2010-09-26T12:14:00.002-04:00

I really shouldn't be spending my time blogging right now, as the end of the quarter at work is fast approaching and I have my own research paper to work on, BUT I just had to share about another moment of God's faithfulness.

I have decided that my Sundays must be spent in the library if I am ever going to get solid lesson plans and research for grad school done. So off to the library I was this morning after Mass. I decided to pop over to the Shrine first, however, to get in a confession.

I love when God surprises me with additional events He knows I would appreciate or might need to partake in. For example, finding out that Mother Teresa's relics are on display (which I wrote about) or when I walk into a church to pray and Adoration is going on without my knowing ahead of time or something.

Today, I left confession and walked out to a line of people venerating some relics of Padre Pio!

1.) Padre Pio is a modern day saint that mystifies me. The stigmata, bilocation and all. My friend and Catholic comedian- Judy McDonald- tweeted this week on his feast day that Padre Pio was the first "green" saint since he could save on gas and bilocate for travel ;) ha!

2.) I know Padre Pio was famous for reading souls. This always kind of freaked me out, but at this point in time where I am once again discerning God's call, I'm thinking I could use Padre Pio's help in knowing what I truly desire.

3.) I am teaching relics this week to my juniors who I am always trying to find creative ways to make the Sacraments a little more engaging. Since the Sacraments are, after all, meant to be experienced.

Love when God hooks me up like that! So I got a clean soul and a little help from the reader of souls all in one shot. God is truly good.

Also, I lucked out and got a priest that I happen to know for confession today. The sign on the door of the confessional just said "Benedictine", but I was happy to see that... (well okay, honestly, first a little embarressed that it was someone I knew, because I just get like that when I'm not mentally prepared to confess to a priest I know) but once I got over the initial human humiliation that is natural, I was happy to confess to him. And he mentioned the HOLY SPIRIT in the midst of administering my penance, and we all know how I like to be reminded of the Spirit these days...

So such a blessed morning! And after a really beautiful "harvest" yesterday...

Saturdays are my fun days that I have set aside for social time. In my last post, I mentioned I need to be more balanced between school, social, spiritual, and work, so I'm trying to do so ;) Yesterday I got to help harvest grapes at a friend's family vineyard.

We all know how much I love wine...so it is really only fair that I work for my Cabernet Franc yesterday ;)

The spiritual element of harvesting grapes was not wasted on me either. The bible is full of harvest analogies, images of grapes and wine, etc. Thinking about Christ being the vine and how I am connected to Him lately was a good meditation. As well as the fruits of the labor I've harvested spiritually and emotionally recently.

Today's confession and veneration of relics was certainly an amazing reward after a great harvest yesterday :)

So God is good! All the time. But now it's time for me to get back to work...

Happy Fall! St. Padre Pio, pray for us! Also, I'm praying a novena with members of my women's prayer group to St. Therese for her feast day this Friday! St. Therese, pray for us!

Peace,
Julia

My 4 Step Program

2010-09-21T22:25:00.002-04:00

I know there are programs that involve 12. As of right now, my life revolves around 4.

Before I started my new gig as a teacher, my spiritual director reminded me to make equal time for 4 areas of my life:

-work
-school (aka my personal development- something I'm doing for myself)
- social
- spiritual

Seems easy, seems like a no brainer. In fact when he mentioned these things to me, I was like really? I pay you for this? Oh, wait. Right. I don't pay him... ;)

But I'm finding, as usual, easier said than done. Especially with first year teaching. Work has come first. Social second. Spiritual and School have been a tie for last until recently with spiritual taking a late lead, only because I found myself going to Mass on Sunday not really wanting to be there... because I knew it would only make me think of work. Yikes! So I knew I had to kick up the one on one prayer time stat!

Such is the life of a youth minister or any area of ministry that we make our work. There is always the temptation to make that the way WE are nourished spiritually, and it can't be so! It was so clear to me on Sunday that I need to be making time for me and God just one on one, not bringing in possible lesson plans or thinking about what material I could use for class. Just talking to God and listening to what He wants to give me for just ME.

I knew right before I started getting into teaching and this school year that I was going to need to rely on God more. And I'm glad to be continually getting those reminders. I'm also so glad to have a ministry job at a Catholic school because it does inevitably get me thinking more deeply about faith, even if my "work" and "spiritual" categories sometimes get overlapped in a way that isn't necessarily helpful. I am grateful for the opportunities that come with the gig.

I also am again seeing how far I've come. A year or so ago, heck a couple a months ago, this passage from Proverbs I may have just glossed over (Proverbs, by the way, makes me think of the Scripture class I'm teaching. I just introduced the Wisdom books. I also think, why is the first reading tomorrow from Proverbs? We had just been reading from St. Paul. Wonder if I could use that in my Sacraments class. We are talking about liturgy....and so on and so on. See my problem?! My work-brain never. shuts. off now. Bah.):

"Two things I ask of you, deny them not to me before I die: Put falsehood and lying far from me, give me neither poverty nor riches; (provide me only with the food I need);
Lest, being full, I deny you, saying, "Who is the LORD?" Or, being in want, I steal, and profane the name of my God." - Proverbs 30:5-9

Provide me only with the food I need. Certainly not a prayer I understood 2 years ago. "Abandonment to Divine Providence" and a little Divine Providence Himself have shown me how to love this type of prayer. That and also, I don't have time for an over abundance of anything right now :)

But I can say I truly only want what is given to me right now. I know it's all I can handle, and I trust that God will give me what I need when I need it. Progress?? I think so.

Okay, and maybe that progress involves more than four steps. Try: 29 years of life, 20+ years Catholic school education, 110, 209, 509 hard knocks, 1 volunteer year, 9 months in a convent, 2 or so years discerning...

Yeah. That's probably more accurate :) And counting...

Life is good! Teaching is hard! Teenagers are...teenagers! But I'm asking only for what I need in these moments and God is faithful. Please keep up the prayers!

Peace,
Julia

Waiting in Hope- Part 4,329?*

2010-09-11T17:35:00.005-04:00

* I've used the title "Waiting in Hope" alot for these blog posts, I'm pretty sure :)

I wrote a post a couple days ago but never had time to proofread the post because, yes, I've been just that busy with this new teaching business. And today I was praying and had another reason to be grateful- it is Saturday :) I got to receive one of the Sacraments that I am teaching about (Confession ;) as well as have some quiet time in Adoration.

And the fruits of The Sanctifier have returned! You thought I had finished with that book, didn't you? ;) Nope!

I had postponed reading the chapter on patience and longanimity, ironically. Or, okay. Intentionally.

I have been working on waiting, patience, suffering, waiting, hoping, etc for so long. This we all know. I didn't think I needed to read about it AGAIN. At least not so soon after God has started to fulfill some of His promises to me.

But today I forced myself to sit with the book and was struck by many of Martinez' passages, like this one:

"God is very slow because he has all eternity, because he knows perfectly the part that time plays in human life. God is very slow; thousands of years passed in order that Jesus, the Desired of Nations, might appear in the world. Souls are sanctified slowly...We would like our souls to be purified rapidly...But no, the law of life-of all life, the natural and the spiritual- is slowness."

This is a great reminder as I begin a new call, as I continue to reflect on the previous waiting I've experienced and the new moments of waiting to come.

Martinez makes many common points about patience and its virtue, that suffering and waiting produce this virtue, and without it, we would have no hope.

Martinez however, makes this assertion which I question:
"No matter what we seek, we go slowly to attain it. Slowly is the spirit formed in wisdom, slowly is the perfection of art achieved; slowly does man become rich; and slowly are hearts conquered. In this world, everything is done slowly..."

Hmmm...this book was clearly written in the earlier half of the 1900's before fast food, 30 second commercials, cars, and high speed internet controlled our life.

We don't go slowly to attain things anymore. Our society is ALL about being fast. How quickly and young we can get rich, how quickly we can lose weight, how little time we spend in the kitchen.

This is not a new observation, but again, just a reminder that God is slow. And we are not anymore. Thus, putting us at odds at times with Him and His Spirit, His timing. It is also, perhaps, indicates why we are at odds with Hope. If patience and suffering produce hope, and we spend our lives avoiding the opportunities to wait and suffer patiently, it makes sense that we are losing the understanding of hope.

Martinez says: "The fruit of hope is longanimity". I had no idea what the word longanimity means. If you are like me, here is the definition: "This consists of knowing how to hope and even to find an intimate satisfaction, a secret delight, in the slowness of God".

This seems like one of those trick virtues. You pray for it, and that means God works really slow in your life purposefully. But I suppose that is, well, the purpose.

Anyways, I wanted to share these little nuggets that I was able to reflect on a little today in my down time. I'm kind of shocked I'm also using my down time to blog when I am essentially writing blogs upon blogs in the way of lesson plans and grad school homework these days. But you are welcome :)

Grateful for all the Lord is doing! Even if He is pretty slow. But let's be honest, we're pretty slow on the uptake ;)

Let's pray that as a society we can embrace the idea of hope in waiting patiently, slowly, for God.

Peace,
Julia

I Heart Lectio Divina

2010-09-09T14:46:00.003-04:00

So....first year teaching is kind of exhausting, in case you weren't aware. I know it's too soon to start dreaming about Christmas break- and I'm not quite there yet- but my mind (and time) has certainly been consumed with lesson plans, lesson plans, and yeah...lesson plans. And I will look forward to the day when I have a semester under my belt and can just re-use and adjust some plans I've already written and taught, as opposed to inventing the wheel every. day.

Today was a good day, though. And there really haven't been any bad days, I just come home each night really drained. My body hasn't gotten used to the early hours and the adrenaline that comes with having to be "on" in front of an audience of 30 each day.

I am teaching a course on Scripture and one on Sacraments. I thought after having taken my Liturgical catechesis course last semester, I'd be all up on, in, and around teaching the Sacraments, but Scripture is turning out to be my jam. (Perhaps you aren't as surprised to hear that consider Scripture has been the basis for much of this blog and I'm a St. Paul/Scripture kind of girl. Touche. ;)

Today I taught a lesson on Lectio Divina. We were talking about Scripture and Tradition as the two ways God reveals Himself to the Church. Yesterday we talked about Scripture in the Mass- the perfect marriage of these two revelations of God to the Church. Today, I really wanted the students to see another way Scripture could be used as a prayer.

I chose Matt. 15:32-39 for us to use in class. (It's the feeding of the 4,000). I wanted a passage that could create a vivid picture for them, but also had a clear, deeper meaning. For those of you not familiar with Lectio Divina, you read a passage 3 times. Two times before reflecting on the passage, then once more before picking a word or phrase to take with you from the reflection.

I was really impressed and humbled by the kids sharing. Not a ton of them shared (it is the first week of school) but the ones that did were able to get multiple deeper meanings and apply them pretty directly to their lives. It was so cool to witness.

And since I teach 5-6 classes a day, I got to hear this Gospel 15-18 times myself ;) I saw how- while I chose it to prompt quality discussion for the kids- that (not surprisingly) this Scripture is reflective of where I am at in my relationship with God. Very grateful for the abundance of grace and gifts He gives, even though I have so little to offer at times.

And an added little gift that God gave me- after a VERY long, full day yesterday- I had 2 planning periods today, one of which I was able to go to the chapel for some time and just rest in the Lord. He is good.

Please continue to pray for me as I unfold this new gift of the call to teach. And pray for the students that they would be open to all God has for them! Thanks!

Peace,

Julia

Not Afraid

2010-09-02T10:37:00.007-04:00

"Put out into deep water your nets and lower your nets for a catch.'

Simon said in reply, 'Master, we have worked hard all night and have caught nothing, but at your command, I will lower the nets.'

When they had done this, they caught a great number of fish and their nets were tearing.

Jesus said to Simon, 'Do not be afraid; from now on you will be catching men."

- Luke 5:4-6, 10

I know I have talked about this reading before in 'expecting more' from God. My women's group and I recently talked about this passage as many of us have indeed experienced God generously giving us abundant blessings of late.

But I know I've also talked about that guy the devil who likes to keep us from believing that this abundance could be true or lasting.

I just wanted to quickly reflect on this Gospel as I believe it was a little gift to me today. When I start to fear or believe that the abundant blessings in my life are too good to be true, Peter's confidence in saying: "Okay, we've tried it, but we're going to do it again at your word" inspires and challenges me.

Also, Jesus' constant reassurance of 'Be Not Afraid'....we have nothing to fear!

And- not surprisingly- makes me think of a current pop song:

Not Afraid- Eminem

I'm not afraid, to take a stand

Everybody, come take my hand

We'll walk this road together through the storm

Whatever weather- cold or warm

Just lettin' you know that you're not alone

Holla if you feel like you've been down the same road

Holla! I'm hollerin'! (Also, how many times have I wished that Christ's words literally meant I'd be a fisher of men? TMI? Just sayin')

We've all 'been down the same roads' in our own lives over and over again. Sometimes, this can cause us to fear simply because we wonder if we are 'lowering the nets' right. (Another song comes to mind: "Why Georgia" by John Mayer. 'Am I living it right?' Right? ;)

Peter's question makes total sense to me. His trust in Jesus, however, goes against logic and requires great faith. Jesus assures us to not be afraid in lowering the nets...and also not to be afraid of the abundance He can provide!

So, though I waver, I am not afraid. I am challenged to keep casting out into the deep, even if the abundance doesn't seem real or possible.

"for nothing will be impossible for God"- Luke 1:37

The angel Gabriel says this to Mary right after she questions the call she has been given, but accepts with her yes. Zechariah- her cousin Elizabeth's husband- also questions the gift he has been given of a son, but does not immediately believe with great faith. In both scenarios, the angel tells them to "not be afraid".

We can accept our call like Mary and Peter- with great faith, or like Zechariah (who is silenced until the birth of his son!) I don't know about you...but imma try to be like Mary, and take a cue from Peter and Marshall Mathers (aka Eminem) on at least this one.

So I'm encouraged to cast out my net again and again today, and to expect the most from God. I'd like to believe the nets will burst- so why not believe with great faith and not fear?

Peace,

Julia

Just Jesus

2010-09-01T08:11:00.007-04:00

"Therefore, neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God who causes growth. He who plants and he who waters are one...For we are God's co-workers; you are God's field, God's building" 1 Corinth 3: 7-9

School is officially in full swing! I know this because 1.) My roommate who is a mini-Martha Stewart recently changed our "garden flag" from the Summertime Watermelon WhatHaveYou to a School Bus and b.) My own grad class has started in addition to students returning to the school where I am now teaching.

As usual, I am suuuper nerdy and suuuper excited about my class this semester. Get ready to hear all about it in blogs to come ;)

After my first super nerdy/exciting grad class of the semester yesterday, I slipped into the chapel on campus that I have been familiar with for now over 10 years of my life (scary!).

I have prayed in that chapel, cried in that chapel, sang in that chapel, celebrated friends in that chapel. And while the previous year I found myself kind of dumbfounded in a "I can't believe I'm still here 10 years later" kind of way, yesterday, I found myself rejoicing and being thankful for the time that I will henceforth call my "foundational time" ;)

Many of my friends are turning 30 this year, and with that, comes a look back at our 20's. I have done ALOT the past 9-10 years. And being back in that chapel yesterday, I was reminded of how hard I have searched, worked, and grown because of the growth God has given me (hence the quote from today's reading from St. Paul ;)

And there have been for sure many times I was bemoaning that time of growth, feeling left behind and jaded in ways, but now I am so grateful that I have had that time in my 20s, rather than later in life. It is going to make me a better teacher, better friend, better minister, better single/married person, whatever God comtinues to call me to be.

It has been an overwhelming week or two as I mentioned last post; learning the ropes of a new school, new job. I sat in the chapel rejoicing, but still in a whirlwind of thoughts. I needed to just breathe.

Many of you are probably familiar with a form a prayer called 'Centering Prayer' where you select a word or mantra to repeat and focus on to...well, 'center'....you. It may seem new age-y, and I don't do it often, but yesterday I needed it. There was so much to think about, pray for, give thanks for, offer up....I needed to remind myself it was not about me or what is going on around me. It is all about Jesus. Just Jesus.

Now, those of you who are pop culture gurus like myself may recall a certain television sitcom where a character often was found saying, 'Just Jack", so I had to laugh to myself once again that I was bringing pop culture references to frame my prayer...but there it is.

It's true, though. All could fall away, and it would just be me and Jesus. As it always has and is meant to be.

Happy September! Hope you all are having a good start to the school year or whatever endeavors God has placed in your life...

Peace,

Julia

...And I Will Live My Life For You

2010-08-26T23:48:00.004-04:00

Any youth minister knows from which song the words for this post's subject originate ;) It's one of the songs YMs can come to love to hate. The kids love it, so we sing it with them. Alot. (The song is: You Are Holy (Prince of Peace), FYI ;)

I myself have sung that song probably hundreds of times between NET and my 3+ years of youth ministry experience at the parish, Workcamps, etc. But I have honestly never sung it the way I got to today.

First of all, I should say these weeks have been a whirlwind, hence my lack of blogging. I ended my time of employment with my previous employer last week, had two days off and a weekend, and Monday started my training at my new high school as a teacher! The days have been FULL of learning to grade, lesson plan, and the ropes of being a teacher at this particular school.

While I am a bit overwhelmed, nothing can cloud the joy and relief I ultimately feel from God keeping His promise- His covenant- to me. I am actually really excited to teach Scripture and Sacraments to these teens because of my experience with God keeping this covenant. Had I not struggled the past couple of years, I might not have been inspired to go to grad school and then been inspired to get back into ministry. I also feel like I will have a whole new perspective when teaching the basics of God's covenant in Scripture because of my struggles and His new gifts.

But back to the infamous praise and worship tune. The kids are not back to school yet, so it wasn't with the teens that we sang the song. It was actually at a funeral Mass. I am also kind of overwhelmed at the number of friends' parents I have had pass away in recent years. Today's Mass was for the father of a friend. Most my friends' parents have had cancer related deaths. I just don't understand that disease. I hope we find out more about its prevention and cure soon.

My friend is a youth minister herself and her siblings and parents were all students/supporters of Catholic schools in the Diocese. The church was full of priests, ministers, and faithful lay folks. As we celebrated my friend's dad, I also feel like we celebrated the faithful community we are in. I know I was personally so moved and grateful to see people I love and I know love me who are also some of the holiest people I know (they'd have to be to put up with me ;) jk!

It was my friend's father's request to close the Mass with the praise and worship song mentioned above. He wanted somethig all of the kids his wife and children ministered to could sing along with. I have never prayed that song so seriously in my life. The women's part in the chorus lists:

You Are Lord of Lords, You are King of Kings. You are Mighty God. Lord of Everything...

and goes on to list more powerful titles of God. I really was grateful in that moment and in awe of God. He is truly the Lord of Everything, whether we acknowledge it or not in our lives at various times.

Tonight, my women's group met and though I have been taking crash courses in lesson planning and freaking out all week about planning....I somehow volunteered to plan our 'lesson' or reflection for the evening too. I took to asking my roommates for some help on the topic. Many of us have had major, positive changes in our lives recently: babies, new jobs, relationship developments, etc. There have been many times we all meet to co-miserate, but we really felt called to come together tonight and rejoice.

I thought about the examples in the Bible of change coming into people's lives and their reactions to the change: Abraham being told about Isaac and his role as the father of numerous descendents, the apostles witnessing the death, Resurrection, and Ascension of Christ but then left to spread the Gospel with the help of the Holy Spirit...examples of great joys, great change- with great responsibility.

And I thought of Mary's change of being chosen to be the Mother of Christ and how she questioned, but then proclaimed God's glory with her whole being in her fiat (her 'yes') and her Magnificat (Luke 1: 46-55). So we prayed Mary's Magnificat together and shared our stories of gratitude for the changes God is doing in our lives.

We know that with this change comes great responsibility. Mary was soon told her heart would be pierced with a sword at the Presentation...the positive does not always last. Consolation prepares us for desolation so that we have something to hold onto. But today I am truly relishing in the gratitude and greatness of God, and I was so blessed to have done it with many holy friends.

They say a change could do you good....I would say Amen to that! God has changed my life time and time again- welcome and unwelcome at times. But we still choose to live our lives for Him, no matter the change.

Thanks, ladies, for a beautiful reflection tonight! Grateful for many things.

"My soul rejoices..."

Peace,
Julia

The More You Know

2010-08-13T11:09:00.004-04:00

Remember these helpful PSA's from the 80's/90's? I occassionally still see them on NBC...

A friend of mine and I have been told that we essentially 'write grad papers for fun' because we keep blogs on topics we have (or are currently getting!) our Masters in.

I realize that this blog is turning into a book review for Archbishop Luis Martinez' The Sanctifier, and I'm okay with that ;)

Last post I talked a little about Martinez' thoughts on piety. Today I read about- you probably guessed it- The Gift of Knowledge.

Martinez beautifully speaks about the difference between scientific/human knowledge and divine/spiritual knowledge. The two are connected, but also very different. He mostly then goes onto address (of course) the benefits and challenges of the gift of spiritual knowledge.

Along with spiritual knowledge comes the act of detachment. He explains this with the example of the lives of the saints, particularly St. Francis.

When St. Francis began to obtain spiritual knowledge from and about God, he began to detach himself from things of this world. He beautifully surrendered himself and 'married' Lady Poverty.

Side note- I remember when I was discerning religious orders being totally in awe of the Franciscan embrace of Lady Poverty. Franciscan priests and brothers essentially 'marry' this concept of Lady Poverty. If you ever get a chance to read Francis: The Journey and The Dream by Murray Bodo, it's a little 1960s in style (though published in the 80s, I believe) this book helped me understand the embrace of Lady Poverty in a new way. Just sayin'.

Martinez also sites Solomon (who is attributed to writing the Book of Ecclesiastes) saying that once Solomon obtained the gift of Knowledge from God, he could see "Vanity of vanities, all things are vanity" (Ecc. 1:2)

So this begs the quesiton in my mind: Which comes first, Love of God or Knowledge? Does it matter?

I think when we love a human (or creature as Martinez writes), the more we know them, the more we love. It can also be the same with God, the more we get to know about God and know Him, the more we Love Him too.

But Martinez seems to suggest that when we love God, then we can be given the gift of Knowledge and this knowledge leads us to detachment. We are all given the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit at Baptism and again at Confirmation, but certainly as we grow in Love of God, we also grow in the gift of Knowledge of Him.

What are your thoughts? Which came first, the knowledge or the love? ;) I do agree with Martinez. We open our hearts to love God, and he turn gives us the gift of knowledge to Love Him more.

Another complete side note- my journeys this summer are finally coming to an end! I'm currently in Cincinnati on my last business trip for my previous employer. I got to fly in to Louisville, KY, which you may or may not KNOW (see what I did there? ;) is where I spent some crucial years of my childhood (ages 8-13, to be exact!)

I rented a car to drive up to Cincinnati, but before I did, I stopped at some important places in Louisville (and I will be returning there tonight to hang out with a childhood friend- holler!). Important places like our old house, our Church, our school, and the country club where I spent my summers swimming ;)

I spent some time in this particular Church in Louisville yesterday where I pretty much began my music ministry. I had sang and played piano in our talent shows every year (FUN FACT- sang and played NKOTB's "I'll Be Loving You Forever" in 4th grade! No joke. I think I got 'honorable mention' that year, though God bless them for thinking that choice was honorable. Ha) and the music teachers signed me up to help with music for Mass shortly after that (it MUST have been that my Jordan Knight impression was that divine ;)

So it was cool to go back to this Church yesterday- though they've COMPLETELY re-done it- and just see where God has taken me with my music and how He continues to bring me back to these special places in my life.

After this weekend- last day of work, couple days off, then BAM! I'm a teacher!

Pray for me!

OH! And OF COURSE....today is the Feast of the Assumption!! Father at the parish I'm speaking at in Cincy gave a beautiful, short reflection on how Mary was the first missionary. Spreading the Good News indeed! Love it!

Mary, Queen of Apostles (and missionaries! ), pray for us!

Peace,
Julia

Run to You

2010-08-09T17:11:00.002-04:00

That's right. This IS a picture of Whitney Houston from her movie with Kevin Costner called The Bodyguard. What were YOU doing in 1992?

I myself was eleven, and I had a number of cassette tapes that I liked to sing through in their entirety in my parents' basement, pretending I was actually Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey, or the like. That's what I was doing in 1992.

Whitney Houston's Bodyguard Soundtrack made it into the rotation, much to I'm sure my parents' dismay, because you can't just SING Whitney. You MUST belt it. And no one can sing Whitney besides Whitney herself, let alone an eleven year old girl as much as she tried.

Oh and I tried.

Now, however, I cringe like any other person in America when I hear the starting notes:

"If I....should stay....I would only....be in...your way...."

All together now:

AND I!!!!!! EEEIIIII!!!!!!!!!! Will Always....LOVE YOUUUUUU.....

Sigh. I hear Whitney's trying a comeback, but it's such a shame she just couldn't see that 'crack was whack' in the first place. Now all I can really hear her belting in my mind is:

"Bobbbaaaayyyy! Bobbaayy!"

Being Bobby Brown? Anyone? Such a sad, sick show, but slightly hilarious.

So WHY am I expounding on Whitney Houston? Well, one of the songs (of course. because I don't speak normally to Jesus, there MUST be a running soundtrack) came to my mind today at Adoration. The song was from The Bodyguard Soundtrack that I reenacted in my basement some...SHOOT 18 years ago?!

whoa.

"Run To You" was the song that came to mind: "I wanna runn to yooouu...oooo...."

I feel like I've been running to and from Jesus for a number of years now. And I mostly find myself running TO Him when things are bad. When I have nothing else or noone else to turn to, I go to Him. I throw myself down at His feet when I am sad or scared.

And this is a good practice for sure, but what about the good times? In the Houston song, she's no doubt running because she's in love. When we see the cliched scene of a couple running to each other through a field in a movie, they are running to each other because they feel GOOD, right?

Well, today, I felt a little call to run to Jesus after work in Adoration and it was a good thing. Things are- for the first time in a while- kind of where I want them to be. So when I felt called to run to Adoration I had to stop and ask, 'Why are you calling me here now, Lord?'

But doesn't it make sense to go to Adoration when things are GOOD?And I realized once I was there for a minute that, 'duh...I've been given all these things of late...I'm kind of going to need to rely on Him MORE'

It's like the Gospel reading yesterday: 'To those whom are given much, much will be required". And oh, I've been knowing that for sometime now, so I must not forget it just because things are moving!

Also, the Holy Spirit is kind of re-arranging the way I think about relying on God. The Spirit is all about that possession, that love of God in charity that is without abandon...

Like today, I have started the second part of Archbishop Martinez' book and have gotten into the Gifts of the Spirit. Today's chapter was on piety.

I have always understood piety to be something solemn or saintly. And it is, but not in a rigid, boring, silent way is what I found out today. I think of a pious person and I think of the goody goody who doesn't do anything wrong and just wants to pray all day. In Martinez' book, he talks about piety in an almost reckless way. Because piety= abandon. We are not pious out of duty, but out of love. We are pious because we want to please the Father, but only because we love Him so much. When we practice piety, we love and serve without abandon. The saints were pious, but they were also radical!

I liked this new take on piety...maybe I will try to work on it a little more now...running to Jesus and all....

I also loved this past weekend's second reading from Hebrews 11 where Paul talks about the faithfulness of God and also of Abraham. My friend called me yesterday pretty much just to tell me that she was grateful for God's faithfulness. How great is that? Often we call to complain to each other, but what a blessing to just acknowledge to one another: "you know what? God IS trustworthy."

"By faith Abraham obeyed...by faith he was able to generate, even though he was past the normal age...for he thought the one who had made the promise was trustworthy"

I guess I think God is pretty trustworthy too ;) He has proven it time and again. And He WANTS us to be happy:

"Do not be afraid any longer, little flock, for the Father is pleased to give you the kingdom"

Pleased to give us the kingdom. Wants to give us everything. Kind of makes you want to run to Him open-armed, movie-style, huh?

Peace,

Julia

Holy Spirit 3, Devil 0

2010-08-02T12:20:00.002-04:00

I could've come up with a more creative title for this post, but I really just want to jump off of what I wrote a week or so ago...

The Holy Spirit continues to empower and amaze me as I read Archbishop Luis Martinez's "The Sanctifier" and seek to apply it to my life.

I had an amazing week last week. And I went back to my prayer journal this morning to find out what it was that I had FINALLY done right?!

Of course, things don't happen because of our own merit. I didn't DO anything. It's all about God's timing and His Will. But I do believe my openness and understanding of the Holy Spirit helped :)

I went back to my journal and read my thoughts on the first few chapters of Martinez' book. So much knowledge have I gained about the Holy Spirit! He is love. He wants to possess us. He is the communication of love between Father and Son. He leads us to the Cross, but also the Resurrection and our Mission....He does it all!

And I like to think my being just slightly more in tune to Him set the scene for God's timing to be received and appreciated :)

Drumroll......I got a new job!!!

After 2 years of wondering how I could best minister again to youth, I have been hired as a full time Theology teacher at a high school. I never knew people could be so excited to be so under-paid, but it is true ;) God knows the desires of my heart and He knows that I want to teach the faith in whatever capacity He calls me to. Apparently, it is (finally!) time to do that professionally as an actual teacher!

Thank you for your prayers and for your turned ears/shoulders to cry on as I struggled these past couple years to find "the next thing". And I am seriously grateful to the Holy Spirit for wasting no time once I finally surrendered and let Him take over!

I just got back from another Diocesan Workcamp. This week was slightly crazier than the first week (which I blogged about) because we were shorter staffed. The camp went really smoothly, but those of us on staff did have our moments where the devil tried to damage the good we were doing. I just kept reflecting on the Apostles throughout the week and how they were asked to do much with limited instruction in a rag-tag group ;) I also just kept telling myself, "His Grace is Enough" and that seemed to be the key!

When we tell ourselves "His Grace is Enough" everything else is just bonus. And God WANTS to give us more than enough! But we have to realize we can survive alone on His Grace and surrender our other wants and thoughts to Him. He makes it happen in His time... and I'm just glad it is finally TIME! ;)

This month, consequently though, is going to be CRAZY. Have a wedding (of course! ;) this weekend, business trip for (old) job following weekend, then- BAM! I'm a teacher! Gotta learn how to write some lesson plans and develop a curriculum somewhere in between! But I am blessed to have many people and resources to pull from- I'm not too worried. God will stretch my time and efforts if I take it a day at a time and trust in Him.

So the victory is looking pretty inevitable for the Holy Spirit...was there any doubt? ;)

Peace,
Julia

Gimme, Gimme More!

2010-07-21T12:46:00.003-04:00

Only I could use a phrase from a Britney Spears song to start a blog post on a great saint. I know, I know. Jesus is probably rolling His eyes at me somewhere in Heaven. Lovingly, though ;)

I want to give some props to a saint who has come in in the clutch for some friends and I of late. Don't let his name fool you...he is a lesser known, in my mind....but...:

St. Thomas More. The Catholic Encyclopedia has lots to say about him. But basically, I know him 'cause I watched a movie about him (it won awards! It's on the Vatican AND AFI's top lists! That doesn't happen often, people!)

Other than the movie, I didn't know too much. But a friend recently prayed to him and then another friend recommended I do the same- and he was a powerful intercessor for us both! He clearly wastes no time and works quickly! I would expect nothing less than powerful persuasion from such a keen lawyer ;)

Plus, it's all in the name...St. Thomas MORE? ;)

I know. The joke was too obvious. But he is for real! No joke!

Just wanted to pass on this guy's name along for you and your next intercessory need ;) You are welcome.

Peace,
Julia

Holy Spirit 2, Devil still 0

2010-07-21T10:30:00.007-04:00

I know our faith-life goes in cycles as I've noted time and again on this blog. I have also noted that when the going gets GOOD (aka the Holy Spirit is in full effect) the devil gets GOING.

As in...going to make you crazy. As in going to make you think you aren't GOOD ;( Lies!)

The past couple of posts I have been at peace and raving about the Holy Spirit who I am contemplating and inviting more into my life.

Apparently, though, when you invite him in, you have to carefully guard who sneaks in from behind...This guy.

I didn't even want to google pictures of him, that's how much I didn't want to let him in! So I got this cartoon version. I still kind of want to stab him with that pitchfork.

I don't have anything really new to say about good vs evil, I could just use some prayers to not get frustrated when devil dude is trying to cramp my style.

I am really excited about having the opportunity to spend another week in ministry with teens from the Arlington Diocese at their Workcamp. As a friend reminded me, a week of prayer, unity, and service with others is a great way to combat the devil.

Another friend sent me this link from a non-denominational pastor who was reflecting on faith-life cycles. The popular Byrds song that comes from Ecclesiastes comes to mind and came to my mind in prayer the other day. Well, that's kind of a lie. I was on my way to pray and my friend texted me to tell me about her shopping trip that she was on. Our conversation:

Her: En route to outlets. Wish me luck ;)
Me: En route to Adoration...will do ;)
Her: you are getting the REAL deal
Me: To everything a season. A time to shop, a time to pray
Her: #ThisIsWhyWeAreFriends

(And yes, these are my actual conversations. I KNOW. I'm a nerd)

So the verse really came to me because I was trying to be cute via text, but after I wrote it, I did take it with me to prayer. It was a good reminder, like last Sunday's readings about Abraham and Sarah/Mary and Martha, that there is a time to reap, and a time to sow. A time to wait and a time receive.

But thank God it's always time for the Holy Spirit!

Another thing that has been a source of temptation for me- as much as I LOVE me some social networking- is Facebook. A woman in my prayer group had shared with me before her similar struggle to see all these people in her life post pics online of their babies while she and her husband were struggling to conceive. I have fallen into the trap as more and more people post pics of their engagements, weddings, babies, etc. too. I start to compare myself to others based solely on the fact that Facebook seems to be telling me this is where I SHOULD be in my life. Because I have 200+ "friends" who are one state in life, this is my basis for what I should want? Um, I don't think so!

Shoot, I even found myself of late looking at blogs and being like, "at least I'm not Jennifer Aniston". She gets torn apart in the press about being single and 40. She is a beautiful, rich woman! Why should I compare myself to her and/or rejoice in her suffering?!
This is the 40 year old "Old Maid"....right...

I've gotten plenty of "comments" on my travels of late from married friends or friends who are moms that are jealous of my freedom to come and go as I please. The grass is always greener. But this is why we need not to compare and be grateful for what God has given us.

The love of the Holy Spirit is the answer! And the devil needs to STEP OFF.

I appreciate your prayers at this time as I try to combat the devil. But it usually means good things are happening. Definitely pray for us at Workcamp this weekend and through next week!

Thanks so much,
Peace,
Julia

Meet Me in St. Louis

2010-07-19T11:36:00.005-04:00

I had mentioned a couple posts ago that my summer travels recently took me back to a special place for me- St. Louis. I recently went there for work, but as many of you know, God took me there- shoot- almost 3 years ago to enter a religious community. As I sat on the plane for my first trip back in 2 years, I was still in awe that God called me to the city that my own sister (by blood, not convent ;) was living in for a very important year in both of our lives. I am still so grateful for that year and that gift of having my sister there during that time. Every time I question the whole journey, I can always point to the fact that we were both there in the same place at the same time and say- that was God. God did that for me.

So this trip back was good for me. I am in a good place right now. Sure, I still have plenty of questions for Jesus, but I think I was able to go back and present my best self to the people I encountered this most recent weekend and just enjoy the city that I got to know fairly well a couple years ago.

The Church is pretty alive there, which is one of the many reasons I loved being back. Being in a religious community during my original stay in the city, I got to know alot of parishioners at various parishes in the Archdiocese. I met a lot of priests and other diocesan ministers, and there are just a lot of good people doing good things in STL! So I enjoyed being hosted a parish this past trip for work.

When I was on NET, we stayed with 'host families' at nearly every parish we would do retreats at. So it is not unusual for me to enjoy a meal with a family I've just met through the parish where I am staying.

This trip to STL afforded me such an opportunity! I was speaking at parish for work, and had made arrangements to stay at the parish, but thought I would be on my own for meals. I was actually going to try and meet up with a friend of my sister's on Saturday night.

After I had attended and spoken at the Saturday vigil Mass, Msgr made sure I was all set for my stay and quickly added, 'oh, btw the way- we have a couple that will be taking you out to dinner.'

I was surprised, but not disappointed. It was going to be like my NET days re-lived.

So a sweet couple( probably my parents' age) came to pick me up at the rectory after the Vigil Mass and asked where I would like to go eat. Me, being polite but also NOT a picky eater in any way shape or form, responded: 'anywhere! I'll eat anything!'

Taking me a little off guard, the wife suggests the buffet at the 'new casino' in town. I was never taken to a casino by any host family on NET! However, these were my kind of people! Casino? Buffet? Um, yes please. These are moments where I love being Catholic. We know how to pray and have a good time ;)

The casino buffet lived up to all the 'hype'- it had great food! ;) And I had a really great conversation with the couple- the wife, whom, had recently become Catholic and the husband had became a deacon.

They told me this great story that I told them I would have to share:

The deacon (before he was a deacon) was attending a daily Mass at a more traditional parish. The tabernacle had a door on the front, but also a way in from the back ( apparently, there was a chapel or sacristy behind the altar so that there was additional 'access' to Jesus for the priest ;)

The priest saying Mass at this parish apparently spoke to Jesus each time He reposed the Sacrament, saying something like, "Good Night, Jesus!"

Well apparently (and perhaps you see where this is going), at this particular Mass, the priest went to repose the Sacrament and said his goodbyes to Jesus in the tabernacle, and there was a response back from the tabernacle!

"Good night, Jesus!"

"Good night!"

Um...can you imagine?

It was, of course, another priest who was opening the tabernacle from behind, but I can imagine it was a kind of hysterical (and maybe even slight creepy? ;) event.

After our trip(s) to the buffet and sharing stories such as this, we promptly played slot machines, grabbed a beer, and watched the Cardinals game.

Best. Host. Family. Ever ;)

Just another reason to love St. Louis!

I also did get a chance to have lunch with some of the sisters, one of whom i was pretty close with before I entered, and visit the place where I lived for a short time. It was good to have a type of closure and to return at just the right time in my life- I was ready and could see how I had grown in the past 2 years.

I also got to visit some of my favorite places that I would spend time at on my "days off" (we got one day a month to do whatever we wanted when I was living there)- my "Special Place" that I blogged about, the Art Museum which I loved (and saw this exhibit this time around. Yes, I know there are STATUES involved, but they were LITTLE. Ergo, tolerable for me and my phobia...but still admittedly a little creepy), and I did get to meet up with my sister's friend and have brunch in the Central West End- a place I frequented often for brunches on my 'free days'.

All and all a really lovely trip that I am grateful for! Have you ever experienced these kinds of moments where various people and places from your current and past life collide? I kind of love these moments. They affirm me of God's plan.

Where will my summer travels take you next, you ask? How kind ;) Well, I am of course, not slowing down! Helping with ANOTHER Workcamp in VA starting on FRIDAY! Going to a quick girls' getaway the weekend after we finish camp, then a WEDDING (of course! But sans bridesmaid dress, thank the good Lord!) and then ANOTHER trip for work! It will also be a trip where my worlds will collide a bit...

but we'll blog that bridge when we...er...cross it?

Thanks for reading! OH! And so that this blog is not completely void of SOMETHING prayerful/theological/reflective to think about...

I LOVED the readings this past Sunday: The Lord revealing His promise to Abraham that Sarah would conceive a child in the first reading and the Gospel of Mary and Martha. The first reading gives me a challenge and HOPE that God can and WILL do all things for those who serve Him in His time. And that we need not worry like Martha in the Gospel, but just throw ourselves at His feet like Mary.

Hope you all are having a blessed summer!

Peace,
Julia